Naeem's Blog

The Atlantic has a stunning collection of photos from the regions ravaged by the flooding. The first few pictures showing the before and after are especially amazing.

Very humbling. Make a special dua'a for them tonight when you break your fast.

Here is an excellent article detailing the multiple layers of complexity that make up the American-Pakistani relationship.

Once you read this piece, you'll have a much better understanding of the different layers of deceit that pollute that region's politics.

And the writer finishes his article with a nice bang, calling out America's new policy of hiring private contractors who are beyond the accountability reach of the US Government.

Amidst all the euphoria and jubilation running through the throngs of protesters as they sense the realization of their primary objective (the ousting of Mubarak), I find myself weary of the epilogue.

I remember back in 2007 and 2008, when another embattled ex-military general president, Pervez Musharraf, was similarly fighting for his political life. The movement calling for his removal had also gained considerable momentum and the public was looking forward to 'change'.

Major protests, led by Pakistani lawyers, against Musharraf's dismissal of the nation's top judges as well as a dubious alliance between Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto calling for his impeachment combined for a very uncomfortable situation for the man infamously referred to by W. Bush as 'the General'.

Finally, when the dust settled and Musharraf was sent scurrying to London on a 'self-imposed' exile, the Pakistani peoples finally had their day. So how did they celebrate their chance to decide their political future? They put their minds together and elected their knight in shining armor:

A sleazy used-car salesman, better known to the world as Asif Zardari.

(excuse me while I pick up my keyboard that I just threw against the wall)

..

..

OK, I'm back.

So, my advice to the people of Egypt is to temper your emotions and focus not on who you were able to depose, but on who will replace him.

*That* is the real challenge.

And if history is any indicator, it doesn't bode well for my Misri brothers and sisters.

True revolutions aren't made by mass protests and Tweeting and checking out Facebook. They are made by changing the hearts and minds of the masses. Once this foundation is present, then the protests and and social movements and political machinations can lead to a successful change.

Until then, we're all suckers waiting to get ripped off by sleazy used-car salesmen.

According to the foremost leading military man in America, the Afghan Taliban (with their evil cohorts Al-Qaeda) are going to shift their operations into Pakistan. Why? Well duh! The US surge of troops in Afghanistan is going to force them over the border and into Pakistan.

Reason #2,947 for the destabilization (and inevitable failed-state status) of Pakistan.

I've kept quiet over the past few weeks with all this crap flying around about the countless problems plaguing Pakistan. But I really need to let out some steam.

It's such BS how the image of Pakistan succumbing to extremist forces is being paraded around in the MSM. This recent piece* by a NY Times writer really set me off.

The main themes you'll find in most reports are these three:

"Oh my, look at how close the Taliban forces have gotten to Islamabad - only 100 miles away!"

"The Pakistani nukes are in danger of falling into the hands of Al-Qaeda."

"Pakistan has given up control by signing over the Swat valley to the Shariah. The Shariah is taking over the world! "

Outright fear mongering at its worst.

Look, I'm no fan of the Pakistani government. They are crooks to the highest degree. They've stolen from the population as well as from the international community. Shame on them and shame on the world for continuing to support them.

And I'm also no fan of the nation of Pakistan, as so many Pakistani nationalists who live and die for the nation. Zaid Hamid is one character who at first impressed me, but recently I'm getting very tired of his pro-Pakistani, pro-army stance riddled with Zionist and Indian paranoia. These folks have gone off the deep end, referring to Pakistani forces as the real mujahideen.

But let's get real here folks. Pakistan is (and sadly always will be) the same useless country of corrupt feudal lords and army generals. The country is not losing control to anyone. The army is the seventh largest in the world. They have an established federal infrastructure with semi-stable governmental services. Police run the streets, not gangs or warlords. Legal cases are settled in courts, not by local mafias.

So what's with all this propaganda painting Pakistan with the same brush as failed states Afghanistan and Somalia?

First, I'm convinced the powers-that-be desire for a more controllable Pakistan. And the best way to achieve said desire is to either break it up or declare it a failed state. Both options would result in an outside presence needed to oversee the nation.

The other possibility is along the lines of Pepe Escobar's theory that all eyes are on the main prize: resource-rich Baluchistan. This theory includes the chess-game going on between the US, Russia, and China.

Regardless of the various theories posited to explain the outside presence, it's painfully clear that America is screwing things up, what with the careless drone bombings and the recent findings of them using white-phosphorous.

[source]

and since I have nothing else to write about. :-)


[YouTube Link]


[YouTube Link]

Just for the record, I'm waaayyyy better looking than him.

No, seriously - it's no contest.

Basically it's the practice of provoking terrorist groups into action, for the purpose of allowing the 'tickler' to respond with great force in cracking down on the 'tickled'. And that's where initiatives such as the Proactive, Preemptive Operations Group (P2OG) come into play. A 2002 LA Times article describes this US Intelligence Agency:

"Among other things, this body would launch secret operations aimed at "stimulating reactions" among terrorists and states possessing weapons of mass destruction—that is, for instance, prodding terrorist cells into action and exposing themselves to "quick-response" attacks by U.S. forces.

Such tactics would hold "states/sub-state actors accountable" and "signal to harboring states that their sovereignty will be at risk", the briefing paper declares"

Stimulating reactions?? Interesting how that's exactly what the CIA Chief admitted to being the purpose of the drone attacks in North Pakistan that are regularly massacring civilians and enraging the locals.

And clearly it served its purpose with the recent spate of terrorist attacks in Pakistan and the surprisingly convenient threat by Baitullah Mehsud of an impending attack on Washington DC.

It goes without saying that Pakistan's "sovereignty will be at risk" if ever an attack were to be carried out on American soil. Heck, who needs an actual attack when the mere threat of an attack has proven to be quite sufficient? (lookup Iraq in case you've forgotten)

This same tactic of terrorist-tickling is used by the Israelis when things get too quiet and the need arises to justify their $3billion annual aid from the US. An assassination here or a bombing there and Voila!, instant Palestinian reaction immediately followed by jet fighters and tanks, a PR campaign demonizing the blood thirsty Palestinians, and even more restrictive economic embargoes.

Similar tactics were found to be taking place in Iraq where it didn't take much to incite sectarian violence between Sunnis and Shias. Once tickled, these groups consisting of freedom fighters and terrorists alike provided the fodder for America increasing their presence in the region.

Chris Floyd breaks down the nuts and bolts of such pernicious actions even better:

"In other words – and let's say this plainly, clearly and soberly, so that no one can mistake the intention of Rumsfeld's plan – the United States government is planning to use "cover and deception" and secret military operations to provoke murderous terrorist attacks on innocent people. Let's say it again: Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush and the other members of the unelected regime in Washington plan to deliberately foment the murder of innocent people – your family, your friends, your lovers, you – in order to further their geopolitical ambitions.

For P2OG is not designed solely to flush out terrorists and bring them to justice – a laudable goal in itself, although the Rumsfeld way of combating terrorism by causing it is pure moral lunacy... No, it seems the Pee-Twos have bigger fish to fry. Once they have sparked terrorists into action – by killing their family members? luring them with loot? fueling them with drugs? plying them with jihad propaganda? messing with their mamas? or with agents provocateurs, perhaps, who infiltrate groups then plan and direct the attacks themselves? – they can then take measures against the "states/sub-state actors accountable" for "harboring" the Rumsfeld-roused gangs. What kind of measures exactly? Well, the classified Pentagon program puts it this way: "Their sovereignty will be at risk."

The Pee-Twos will thus come in handy whenever the Regime hankers to add a little oil-laden real estate or a new military base to the Empire's burgeoning portfolio. Just find a nest of violent malcontents, stir 'em with a stick, and presto: instant "justification" for whatever level of intervention/conquest/rapine you might desire. "

I just returned from Pakistan last week and one of the conversations I had with my relatives was about the statement made by one of Pakistan's cricket players that no one in their right mind would ever attack Pakistani cricket as its too sacred an institution in the country.

And with that I express my deep sorrow and even deeper anger at what just happened in Lahore, a few blocks from where my parents used to live.

I have only two possible explanations for what took place:

I am convinced, as are so many that I've spoken to, that a serious effort is afoot to destabilize Pakistan and render it a failed state. That would benefit too many bigtime players in the international scene - US (who would gain control of Pakistani nukes), Russia (who badly wants to get revenge on Pakistan for its role in Russia's Afghan debacle), India (self-explanatory), and even Afghanistan (who blames Pakistan for its failures). The Mumbai attacks, the constant US cross-border attacks into Pakistani territory, the kidnapping of a UN worker in Balochistan, and Pakistan's recent economic woes (it almost collapsed Iceland-style late last year) lead me to my conclusion.

The other possibility is the Pakistani military and its intelligence service, the ISI. They yearn for the days of military rule and are looking for reasons to bring back martial law and military dictatorship.

I'm also convinced that the jihadi elements are just not that stupid to carry out such brazen attacks on Pakistan's other religion, its beloved cricket. Pakistanis from all facets of life were rejoicing and ever grateful to the Sri Lankan team for having made the dangerous venture to their home country and such an attack would forever alienate the jihadis.

Things in Pakistan are not as black and white, good vs evil as many would like us to believe.

Allow me to begin with two anecdotal tales:

1.) I was talking to my son's second grade teacher from last year and he told me about a Pakistani national curriculum project he's working on, commissioned by one of Pakistan's largest publishing houses, Ferozsons Ltd. The Pakistani government, he told me, had hired some consultants from Germany to revamp their nationwide curriculum in attempts to modernize archaic teachings found in their outdated education system.

They submitted their proposal and one of the members of some governmental board wasn't too happy with the additions, which included subjects such as the celebration of Diwali (Hindu holiday) as well as taboo topics such as dating. This eventually led to Ferozsons getting involved and hiring my friend.

2.) My wife's friend teaches at King Saud University here in Riyadh at a newly opened English prep program that has been subcontracted to a British educational company. Their textbooks (and I read them myself) are filled with references to pop culture completely foreign to local Saudi culture (dance clubs, mixed social gatherings, Britney Spears, Bruce Springsteen, and many more cultural icons).

I was floored by the blatant message being pushed in their texts. It wasn't even subtle. Conversations discussing Xmas parties and social mixers. Vocabulary focused on attire specific to western society (tank tops, shorts, etc.).

I figured that since the program is new, the school administration hasn't gotten the chance to review the material, but boy was this stuff explosive. I would seriously have a difficult time exposing my children to such cultural propaganda (the Disney channel is bad enough).

I share with you these two tales to introduce my post on censoring education, especially as is being practiced in Pakistan/Afghanistan.

I'm seriously beginning to get upset with Muslims so callously denouncing the actions of ultra-orthodox traditionalists in the tribal areas of Pakistan - all based solely on the media's misrepresentation. But its a bit too much when respected teachers in the (online) community take a public stance without due diligence in getting all the facts.

For sure, I haven't traveled to northern Pakistan and gotten all the details, but based on my limited experience and personal reactions to disturbing trends in Western educational material being presented to our children, I can *begin* to understand what drastic measures an uber-conservative people (as found in Pakistan and Afghanistan) would carry out in order to counter such garbage.

Let's keep these factors in mind when reading about stories on girls education in northern Pakistan/Afghanistan:

1. These places are extremely poverty-ridden. The dynamics of such a society differs from ours. Education, for both sexes, is not necessarily seen as a way out of poverty. The boys normally drop out in order to help the family make ends meet, while the girls end up either staying home to help the extended family or they get married off. So when the school is seen as a source of questionable teachings, introducing thoughts and practices not only foreign to the society but antithetical to it, the result is a closing down of the schools.

2. The tension in the north of Pakistan has less to do with implementing Islam and more to do with the failure of the Pakistan government. The insurgency has used Talibanization as its vehicle to counter the gross incompetency of the national leadership. Sadly, education, seen as a propaganda tool for passing along the government's curriculum, is collateral damage in this war.

3. The other side of the story as told by the pro-Taliban folks is that the schools being blown up by them are in reality being used as base camps by the Pakistani army. They aren't targeting schools in order to shut them down, but as military tactics in their battle against Pakistani forces.

4. There is a major propaganda war going against militant Islam and one of the main weapons against them is the issue of educating girls. Just as apostasy, honor killings and FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) were the favorite topics of yesteryear, girls education is the hot topic of today in countering Islamism.

Such sensationalism is so widespread that CNN has even ascribed shutting down girls schools to the recent implementation of Shariah in Somalia. Such a phenomenon (of preventing girls from attending school) was never advocated under the Islamic Courts nor has the more radical Shabab ever promoted it. CNN's attempt at cross-over demonizing is pure disinformation at its best.

So before we start criticizing these movements in Afghanistan and Pakistan for taking away the God-given right of education, let us introduce some perspective into our dialogue as well as get our facts straight.

Not to belabor the point from my previous post, but I wanted to share one more thought on our very telling relationship with groups like the Taliban or Al-Shabab. I'll start by quoting from a Jonathan Lyons piece over at Juan Cole's site:

"Central to this narrative (referring to Huntington's clash of civilization theory) is a series of familiar ideas across the political arena, on the Internet, on talk radio, in the mainstream media, and, all too frequently, in academia. Such notions include: Islam is a religion of violence; ... Muslims are “medieval” and fearful of modernity; Muslims are sexually perverse – either lascivious polygamists, repressive misogynists, or both; and, finally, they are caught up in a jealous rage at the West’s failure to value them or their beliefs.

Today, such assertions still echo: We love liberty, They hate freedom; We are rational, They are not; We are modern, They are medieval; We are good, They are evil."

The West (and Western Muslims who have fallen for their empty rhetoric) needs to constantly prop up and tear down the actions of groups that feed the above stereotypes. It's no coincidence that the exact qualities that Lyons lists above are the qualities that are constantly publicized in media reports demonizing these groups.

They are the Lex Luthor to our Superman. This narrative is so W Bush and we've got to move beyond it. Our analysis must be properly informed and respectfully objective.

For starters, if you want a fresh perspective on the Taliban as they exist in north Pakistan, this Asia Times Online series is a good place to start. The reporter tries to present a balanced view of the situation.

Sadly, too many will find it long and boring. Quick soundbites reporting the closing of girl schools or lashing of criminals are much sexier.

So the latest news coming out of Somalia is that as Ethopian troops are moving out, in-fighting has begun between the moderate Ahlus Sunna wal Jamaat and the more extreme Al-Shabab. Al-Shabab is accusing the Ahlus Sunna group of being warlords, while the Ahlus Sunna accuses Al-Shabab of being foreign fighters sympathizing with Al-Qaeda.

And then there are unsubstantiated reports that the UIC (Islamic Courts) are in battle with the Shabab.

Eerily similar to what happened in Afghanistan after Russia pulled out.

Here we go again. Sigh.

It's quite confusing trying to sort out fact from fiction, truth from propaganda, but my understanding is that most Somalis are moderates with links to Sufism, so they aren't very welcoming of the firebrand version of Islam enforced by Al-Shabab. I recently saw a lengthy interview on Al-Jazeera with one of their leaders and while he seemed sincere, humble, and committed to Islam, he was parroting the Al-Qaeda sales pitch which definitely won't go over well with many Somalis.

But let us look at the bigger picture and agree that such militant movements are really incapable in achieving the real goal of Shariah. The level of adherence to the laws of Allah (swt) in the societal level are merely a reflection of the adherence to those laws on a personal level. The Shariah can never be implemented through the barrel of a gun or the casting of a ballot - it must come via the transformation of the hearts.

I wrote about this before:

And therefore, as a blessing to us (as well as the rest of world), Allah (swt) has placed a political straitjacket on the Ummah – preventing it from tasting any political power so as to prevent it from causing any harm unto others or to itself.

As a blessing to us (and the rest of world), we will continue to see failed political/military efforts for establishing Muslim states or electing Muslim leaders (Algeria, Sudan, Somalia, Afghanistan, Hamas, Anwar Ibrahim).

Allah (swt) will either send the Americans or a military junta or the Ethiopians or the Israelis or even a 23-year-old political aide, but the results will be the same – no power for the Muslims.

We simply are not ready for the immensely grave responsibility of being representatives of the Most High (khalifat-Allah).

As I see it, I refuse to place a gun in my child's hands. Similarly, Allah (swt) has refused to place power in the Ummah's hands.

That's why Islamic political parties (as found in Turkey, Malaysia, Palestine) will never succeed. Nor will militant groups (as found in Somalia and Afghanistan). Sure they may bring about short-term relief in repelling occupying forces, but they will never succeed in the long-term.

Not until the hearts of the masses begin to respect the words of Allah (swt) and the practice of His beloved Prophet (saw).

“No Problem. Consider it done.”

And with these seemingly innocuous words, my misadventure began.

My brother-in-law (BIL) back in the states needed money transferred to a hotel agent in Jeddah for Ramadan reservations he had made. Seeing that I have a local bank account in Saudi, my BIL figured it easier and quicker for me to do it.

I naively assumed the same.

When he asked, I was preparing to leave for Pakistan the following night. No big deal, I thought, I’ll make the transfer from home via my Internet banking account.

And so the problems began:

1. It took me an hour to get online that night. No DSL over here on our compund, I connect using my cell phone network.

2. Once I connected, although I was able to get to my bank’s site, Gmail refused to load. I needed the hotel agent’s bank account info which was in an email sent by BIL.

3. After another 30 minutes of failing to load Gmail, I logged onto Gmail using my cellphone. Oh yeah! Me da man! I pulled down the bank account info and logged back onto my bank’s site using my PC.

4. However, my stupid bank doesn’t allow transfer of funds to new beneficiaries until a 24-hour period has passed. Shoot! Gonna have to finish this up in Pakistan tomorrow. No problemo, they have web access over there.

5. Once I settled down in Pakistan (outside Gujrat, between the city and the villages), I found out my cousin’s laptop wasn’t working. However, they had an older laptop that’s slow as molasses, but good enough to work.

6. First attempt at logging on to Web went smoothly, but I accidentally pulled the power cable and the laptop powered off. When I tried to reconnect to the ISP, the username and password wasn’t authenticating. We called their helpdesk, they said the Gujrat area is going through technical problems. Odd, cause I was just able to connect 5 minutes ago right before I lost power.

7. We went to my father’s clinic right outside the house to try his desktop PC. We logged on fine to the same ISP using different username/password – so much for their technical problems. Now, I had to install some software (MS Java and special bank certificate) to access my account info. Dial-up kept disconnecting, but after an hour or so, PC was setup and connected to my bank.

8. However, now my bank username and password weren’t working. Subhan’Allah. I’m starting to think this simply is not meant to be.

9. I called my bank’s support in Saudi and over a phone connection that dropped two or three times, they suggested some changes. When I settled down in front of the PC, I took a deep breath of frustration, having exhausted over three hours in this effort, and proceeded to make the changes. Bam! Electricity goes out. Loadshedding! #$%^!&*

10. It was 9:30pm, time for Isha so I called it a night. Knowing that he required the funds by today (Wednesday), I made a phone call to the hotel agent and promised him that I WILL make the transfer the following morning, rest assured.

11. Following morning, I got onto PC and noticed some strange behavior (that I had missed the previous night). When I logged on to the internet, lots of data was being uploaded before I even opened my browser. I looked at the processes running in the background and I noticed winlogon.exe using over 400MB of memory. Tell-tale signs of a virus. Just great!

12. Deciding that I’m not getting onto my bank with a virus on the PC, I asked my dad’s assistant to get some anti-virus software. No problem, he says. Will do so in the afternoon, after work.

13. At 3pm, he brought two CD’s with all sorts of utilities, including good ‘ol McAfee. I installed and ran the anti-virus program. It cleaned all sorts of viruses. Cool, I think, let’s get this show on the road. When I tried to connect to the Internet, I got a series of unending Dr. Watson errors. When I tried to open my browser, Windows crashed. I restarted Windows, nothing. The combination of the virus and the AV software screwed up XP.

14. But hey, I still have my cousin’s old laptop. I sent the assistant to get a new ISP card (since the problem with that laptop was wrong username/password) while I ran to get the laptop. When I powered it on, Windows XP was locked out due to expiration of the activation period. Asked my cousin and he says yeah, we just installed this illegal copy of XP last week or so. Gee, thanks.

15. I went back to my dad’s hosed PC and boot up in safe mode to try and fix it. After an hour or so, Mr. Loadshedding makes his visit. Aaaaargh! @#$%^&*!

16. 6pm and time to face the facts. I ain’t transferring the money.

17. I called a friend back in Saudi to help me out. He didn’t have the funds. I called another friend who says no prob. I sent him hotel agent’s account info.

18. However, when he tried to transfer the funds, the bank said the name of the agent isn’t complete. They need a full name.

19. We tried for several hours to get through to agent. Finally, when I got through, he admits to having some phone problems (gee, how convenient for me). I got my friend to contact him to get full information.

20. Phew! Finally, everything’s done.

21. Hour later, I got a text message from friend. Bank rep says bank system is down, will not be able to transfer money until day after tomorrow (Sat. morning). Tomorrow was Friday, closed for Juma’a.

22. Ya Allah!

My father, who had been a sympathetic onlooker throughout this whole fiasco, had overheard my conversation with the agent (#10 above) and noted that not once had I said Insha’Allah. He reminded me that I was adamant in assuring him that I would get the funds to him without once uttering the name of Allah.

And it was then I remembered my quick email reply to my BIL – ‘No problem. Consider it done.’

So petty, yet so devastating.

I countered my father that my belief in Allah was implied in my declarations. Of course I acknowledge that Allah (swt) controls everything and not a single leaf falls without His permission. He is the sole Master and Maintainer of the universe, without doubt. Must I necessarily vocalize it with an ‘Insha’Allah’ appended to every sentence?

In fact, I detest this habit found all throughout the Muslim world, where Insha’Allah is recklessly used in place of ‘I really don’t want to do it, but I’ll say yes and then add Insha’Allah afterwards, thereby releasing me of any accountability.’

However, when I thought back to the instance when the Prophet (saw) was reprimanded by Allah (swt) for not having said Insha’Allah (in sura Kahf), surely our beloved Prophet hadn’t lost sight of Allah’s Omnipotence.

Yet, the lesson was clear. Never forget that everything happens by Allah’s permission.

That spoon of food in your hand will not enter your mouth without His permission.
Your eyelids will not blink shut without His permission. Nor will they blink open without His permission.
Your car will not get you to your desired destination without His permission.
That medicine will not cure your sickness without His permission.
The walls of your home will not remain standing without His permission.

And NEVER, EVER forget that you will NEVER, EVER transfer funds without His permission.

I thank Allah (swt) for having taught me this lesson in a way only He could have. The fact that He (swt) put me through these difficulties as a means of correcting my oversight assures me that He (swt) loves me. Warts and all.

I just wish all my mistakes could be so gently corrected. Sigh.

It's not enough that America is dumping on Pakistan as the breeding ground for Al-Qaeda supporters.

It's not enough that Afghanistan is dumping on Pakistan for allowing Taliban forces to regularly crossover their shared border.

It's not enough that India and Afghanistan are both dumping on Pakistan for having been behind the July 7 bombing of the Indian embassy in Kabul.

It's not enough that NATO is dumping on Pakistan for supporting the Taliban insurgency in Afghanistan.

Now there's talk that Pakistan has a role in the recent Muslim separatist flare-up in western China.

Well on the bright side, Musharraf's gonna get impeached and the Pakistani team's got a chance of medaling at the Olympics in field hockey.

Oh wait, they just got dumped on by UK.

Aww crap.

Load shedding.

For those of you in the dark (har har...get it?), load-shedding is the governmental act of intentionally turning off the power in order to relieve the stress on an overburdened infrastructure.

Thankfully, they're gracious enough to spread the misery throughout the entire day, so the suffering isn't concentrated.

But it sure does suck.

I was actually surprised that load-shedding took place in the capital city of Islamabad. After every three hours, they would have one hour of power outage. However, it was much worse in the rural areas. In Gujrat, where my parents live, twelve hours out of the day saw them with no electricity.

Ouch.

Now I wouldn't mind if it were being carried out as some 'Go Green' environmental campaign. In that case, I would proudly wear the sweat patches under my armpits as badges of honor. But sadly, its simply a case of administrative mismanagement by a government that wastes away billions on its military while neglecting its peoples.

Pakistan Zindabad!

When I first read CNN’s report on the FBI agents injured at the Islamabad restaurant, my first reaction was ‘What the hell were American FBI agents doing in Pakistan?’

Then I remembered that the two nations have a shared history where US resources (read CIA) were intimately involved with Pakistan in fighting the Cold War in the 80’s and the war on terror this decade (In the three years before the attacks of September 11, Pakistan received approximately $9 million in American military aid. In the three years after, the number increased to $4.2 billion - Wikipedia).

The Pakistani military has been a loyal customer of the US military industry complex, even getting shafted in 1990 when they paid $658 million for 28 fighter jets, but got neither the jets nor their money back due to America’s embargo against them for their nuclear weapons program. In actuality, that broken transaction pretty much sums up their one-sided relationship (unless you consider the critical role that Pakistanis play in sustaining America’s taxi and pizza delivery industries as a fair reciprocation).

So I googled ‘Pesky Americans sticking their fat noses into Pakistan’ and lo and behold, it came up with this WashPo piece explaining what the FBI agents were doing in Pakistan:

“a seven-member FBI team tasked with investigating bombings in the city of Lahore was in Islamabad at the time of the attack…The U.S.-led task force was called in to assist with an investigation into two coordinated bombings Tuesday in Lahore. At least 28 people were killed and more than 170 injured in an attack at the headquarters of Pakistan's Federal Investigation Agency.”

The Naeem of old would have gone off on the intrusive nature of the FBI’s activities with its overtones of paternalistic meddling and how America still retains its colonial master mindset. However, I’ve since learned rule number one in international politics - that every nation, especially aging superpowers who are constantly looking over their shoulders, will do whatever it takes to hold on to their power.

The sooner we come to terms with certain universal truths such as cellphones are the devil’s creation or men need women just as much as women need men or back hair is once again cool (folks, you heard it here first!) or more relevant to this post - America will always interfere in the affairs of sovereign nations as long as it involves safeguarding their superpower status, the sooner we will be able to redirect our energies away from reactionary tactics and towards a more proactive mindset revolving around core issues such as education, social reform, and women rights.

So the new Naeem says ‘oh well’ when he reads about the FBI in Pakistan and instead focuses on his little circle of influence.

What a fitting ending to one of the most tragic years of Pakistan’s short history.

From the Red Mosque siege to the ensuing spat of suicide bombings to the failed military campaigns in the Northwest Frontier to the expelling of the Chief Justice to the hoopla surrounding Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto’s return from exile to the martial law escapade to this latest act of inane violence, 2007 has been a terrible year for the 'Land of the Pure' (translation of 'Pakistan').

I won’t get into all the varying theories of who killed Bhutto and why, I just wanted to chime in on the talks of the near future of Pakistan.

First of all, I’m not clear why the elections are so critical. I admit that I’m very cynical, but I can’t believe that people truly hope for some positive change coming from these upcoming elections. Haven’t the mock elections where Musharraf was elected for President (followed by him dissolving the Supreme Court in order to make sure the elections were not challenged) shown democracy for the sham it has become in Pakistan (as well as the Muslim world)?

Have people become so desperate that they’ve become politically delusional and are placing hope in democracy in Pakistan? That’s some serious grasping for straws people!

Secondly, I get a kick out of all the doomsday predictions of Pakistan spiraling into chaos. Pakistan is not Afghanistan or Somalia or post-Saddam Iraq. Warlords or militias do not run the country. The military is without a doubt in charge, as it always has been and as it always will be. I say that not with any sense of national pride or arrogance, simply as a sad fact of life.

The great military dic (is that the proper abbreviation for dictator?) otherwise known as Musharraf came to Riyadh and I was lucky enough to be stuck in a massive traffic jam caused by his entourage. The Saudi traffic police often close major highways for high-level delegates – I didn’t even venture out during the two days of the recent OPEC conference.

So this past Wednesday, Musharraf and I crossed paths. As I was sitting near the front of the traffic blockade, I saw the huge entourage pass by me. No words were spoken. Actually I had a few choice words, but methinks he ignored me.

Anyways, he didn’t come to the kingdom for some casual visit to Abdullah’s palace. Nor did he come to perform Umrah. Both of which are being purported by his administration to being the official reasons of his visit.

Popular theory is that he really came to initiate talks with Nawaz Sharif. Yeah, *that* Nawaz Sharif.

Although both sides are denying the possible meeting, isn’t such an event par for the Pakistani course?

Seriously folks, only Pakistani politics could come up with such a sadistic plot. Not even soap opera writers could come up with such a story (Arif, help me out here - was General Hospital ever this crazy?).

- Benazir Bhutto steals billions while in power and is ousted TWICE on charges of corruption.
- Nawaz Sharif is also kicked out of the Prime Minister office TWICE.
- The second time was when Musharraf overthrows Sharif’s government in a coup after Sharif denies his plane a safe landing into Pakistan. Musharraf exiles Sharif.
- After 8 years, Sharif tries to make a great return to Pakistan only to be unceremoniously kicked out again.
- After nearly a decade of exile in Dubai, Bhutto does succeed in making her great return, only to have a bomb blast kill over a hundred at her rally.
- Musharraf and the criminal Bhutto have talks about creating a shared government.
- Musharraf’s hold on power is threatened (due to various reasons) so he does what any military dick would do – declares martial law.
- Bhutto speaks out against Musharraf claiming to have a falling out since his martial law and gets house arrest for one day, while becoming the global face for democracy and order in Pakistan (huh?!).
- Musharraf goes to Sharif who is still exiled in Jeddah, looking for a new partner in crime.
- Finally, Musharraf is pregnant with Bhutto's child while Sharif claims he's the real father.

Tune in for the next episode of 'As The Paki World Turns (upside down)'!

Update (11/23 10pm): Surprise, surprise...Its official, Sharif will be returning to Pakistan to contest in the upcoming elections. The soap opera continues...

Something bad is going to happen in Pakistan.

No, I’m not talking about the current martial law. Pakistanis have ‘been there, done that’ with most of Pakistan’s national existence occurring under military rule.

I’m talking about the Northwestern tribal areas. For years, the US and Afghanistan have complained about those areas being sanctuaries for Taliban and Al-Qaeda. The Pakistani military has had catastrophic failures in their attempts to control the lawless frontier.

I just saw an ABC news piece on the Swat valley having transformed into a Taliban-run region. This specific report showed pictures of a closed down police station and then a sign saying ‘Taliban station’ in Urdu, concluding that the Taliban closed down the former in order to replace it with the latter. They showed a rundown school with broken windows and desks, describing it as a girls school closed down by the Taliban. Scores of stores have closed down with only a single shop (wasn’t even a shop, it was a guy selling CD’s on a table) selling Islamic videos. They showed a caravan of cars and vans explaining that tens of thousands are escaping the Taliban violence.

Finally, with the reporter standing in a garden, she points to the ‘Taliban headquarters’ in the backdrop and concludes her report by describing the garden as having once been a popular social spot for families, but now the Taliban have closed it down.

So besides the obvious demonization of the Taliban, what is so noteworthy of this report?

This sort of propaganda is eerily reminiscent of the invasion of Afghanistan.

Girls schools being closed down. Video stores closed down. Strict Islamic law being implemented. Muslim extremists blowing up Buddha statues.

This sorta stuff is so 2001.

But this time, its happening in Pakistan.

And America’s cavalier attitude with the imposition of martial law is very revealing. Besides their hopes in Musharraf cracking down with an iron fist on the Northern areas, this may be their only chance to carry out cross border attacks from Afghanistan into Pakistan – maybe even carry out serious military incursions into the area.

They used similar justifications to invade an entire country. What’s to prevent them from invading an area sparsely populated by lawless bandits and Islamic extremists?