Naeem's Blog

As you all may know, I'm not on the best of terms with the folks over at Brass Crescents Awards. That is, until now!

I got the following from their legal department:

From: Our Legal Department
To: Naeem
Re: Your complaints

We have come to know of your recent tirade and are unaffected by your childish rants. The BCA has a long history of supporting blogs of the highest standards, dead and alive. That should suffice to explain why your effort has remained absent from our nomination forms.

Nonetheless, the truth of the matter is that your blog has been ineligible due to the Honorary Judge status conferred upon your kind self. We at the BCA secretly awarded you this status several years ago, which subsequently disqualified you from any future participation. We hope you understand that this honorary status trumps any BC award you could have possibly won. Please believe us.

As an honorary judge, your vote is of the utmost importance. We hope that you can review the winners of this year's awards and give us your opinion. Since Internet communication is not very secure, we will call you to get your votes. Yeah, just wait for us to call you.

We will then incorporate that into our system and adjust the tallies accordingly. We promise.

Again, we hope this clears up any possible misunderstandings.

Now, if you could kindly refrain from referring to us with feces-related names ("poopie-heads", "Brass Crap awards", "Brass DooDoo awards"), we would be much obliged.

So, there you go folks. It's official - the only reason I wasn't nominated is because I'm a secret judge! Yay for secrecy in the judiciary!

But I have my nagging doubts. I think it may be a big hoax.

I just can't imagine a legal document casually addressing me with my first name. Just doesn't make sense. Besides that, everything else makes total sense to me. I mean, I would make a perfect judge. My wife's always telling me how judgmental I am.

I've written before on the importance of reclaiming Jihad, but I've noticed a recent trend and felt it worthy to revisit the subject.

It has become commonplace in the current political climate for Muslims to regularly define (and sometimes redefine) the concept of Jihad. As I see it, there are three popular approaches, all factually correct, but functionally useless to those aspiring to holistically actualize this sixth pillar of Islam.

First, there are those who are keen to denounce blatant acts of terror and violence and disassociate said acts from the venerable principle of Jihad. This approach basically provides us with a clear definition of what Jihad is NOT.

That's all fine and well, but it fails to answer the obvious follow-up question - If that isn't Jihad, then what is?

The other popular trend is to emphasize the internal aspects of Jihad - the spiritual battle with the nafs (ego). Surely, you will find no greater proponent of this concept than this writer. The nafs is truly one of the greatest obstacles to pleasing our Creator.

However, this fails to address the outward needs of man. While struggling to purify our inner selves, we cannot turn a blind eye to the filth surrounding ourselves. The flood of secular hedonism is overtaking our homes yet we are busy with spring cleaning and interior decorating.

Finally, you find those focused on the spiritual Jihad responding to the claim that their ilk has abandoned the physical Jihad by waxing poetically on the glorious history of Sufi Mujahideen.

While this history is impressive to say the least, it says nothing about current day teachers of Tasawwuf and their inadequate approach to Jihad. Far too many of those calling to the ways of the inimitable Hasan al-Basri and Abdullah ibn Mubarak have become derelict with their obligations towards Jihad.

While countless awliyah of the past sufficed themselves with focusing on the inner self, content with the basic framework for "Islamic" governance provided by the sultans, emirs, and caliphs - the same cannot be said for today's situation wherein the Shariah has been shredded apart and relegated to the private domain. Yet, these spiritual inheritors of ibn Arabi and Imam Ghazali remain blind to contemporary political realities, choosing the route of passivity and non-interventionism.

Sadly, very few out there are interested in negotiating a balanced approach to Jihad that finds one combating the oppressions of the nafs while equally turning back the oppressive hands of the tyrant.

Well, it's actually four, if you wanna include mine here. Cuz after all, it really is *my* post that is highlighting the beauty of these other three, so mine is actually the most beautiful of all, no?

Moving on...

1. Tim points out the frustrations of "the perpetual oscillation between right and wrong curtailing my spiritual growth".

Such ingratitude we display in our regular commission of sins and the even greater ingratitude we perpetrate by sinning after having begged Allah for His forgiveness!

As I commented on his blog, how I wish that I could live out all my hedonistic tendencies and carry out all my sins and then once and for all, return to my Lord with the utmost sincerity, instead of playing this back-and-forth game of sinning and repenting.

But then I'm reminded of the numerous ahadith detailing how Allah (swt) loves to forgive his repentant servants - one hadith going so far as to state that if mankind were to cease sinning, Allah (swt) would destroy them and bring back another people who would sin and seek His forgiveness.

So I'm in the clear, right?

Not really, I say to my silly self. All those teachings on repentance and Allah's forgiveness are geared to those who make sincere taubah (repentance), not the wishy-washy version that I put forth every other day, which finds me scheming my next sin before my crocodile tears have even dried.

That's why I wish I could simply accrue my mountain of sins and then turn to Allah with an unbreakable promise to never return to that wretched lifestyle ever again.

2. al-Kakazai writes about frivolous talk at the Dar-al-Hadith blog.

How often do we find ourselves in a sitting, discussing matters that are of absolutely no benefit? Dare I say too often?

I have partaken in numerous such occasions and I must confess that I get up from such gatherings feeling spiritually exhausted and weakened. Nary a mention of Allah (swt) or His bountiful blessings. How odd!

Socialization for the pure sake of entertainment is a very strange phenomenon.
So is conversation for the pure sake of passing time.

3. Baraka reminds me of the countless prayers that I've pleaded to my Lord, so many of which He has eventually answered, and I, in turn, have so callously forgotten to acknowledge these divine favors.

"We ask and we ask and we ask of God, and then forget that we did so, or forget to even thank Him when our prayers are answered."

So, it's that time of year. No, I'm not talking about Hajj or Eid - this is more important. I'm referring to the annual "Let's take a collective dump on Naeem" Brass Crescent awards.

Another year has come and another year has gone in which the good folks at the Brass DooDoo awards overlooked my online presence. (Read about past travesties here and here)

In fact, their treachery has sunken to new lows this year - they added a category for dead blogs!! Its like they're saying that I can't even compete against a corpse.

Really? I mean, was that even necessary? Aziz, did you really have to go there?

Well, if they're going to go this far, it's only fair they should create a category for Resuscitated Blogs, as mine was dead for 4 months and then it miraculously came back to life. In fact, that's more reason to celebrate and give me some sort of award.

Anything?

To be honest, I've moved on from those poopie-heads. The folks at BC wouldn't know blogging beauty if it kicked them in their aRSS.

So this year, I am going to officially make blogging-takfir of these folks. They're all dead to me. As of 0700hours GMT, they will all be removed from my blogroll.

What's that? They were never on your blogroll to begin with, you say. Well, in that case, I'm gonna double remove them and so I guess, that means...I have to...hmmmm...add them?? Well, that just doesn't make sense, does it?

Whatever.

Truth is, I have too many blogging awards and am thankful that I needn't worry about some cheesy BC award. Folks are running over each other to give me awards...it's like so weird. Like this guy here. I got his Gold Star award for having too much time on my hand...not sure what that means, but it must be good cuz it's a Gold Star.

Anyways, I'm taking my 13 loyal readers and going to play elsewhere. You folks have no idea how high I can fly.

Remember that scene in Braveheart, before the first battle, when William Wallace gave his stirring speech to the mistrustful masses. When confronted by a skeptic who declared that he would rather run from the battlefield and live than fight an impossible battle and die, Wallace countered:

"Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

Well, I fear we have all become like that ragtag army of weak-minded, indecisive characters.

For too long, many of us have been unwilling to commit to a cause in which we believe. I speak from experience while also, presumptuously, speaking for many of you out there.

Let me explain.

Over the years, I have dabbled with various movements, from Tablighi Jamaat to Jamaati Islami to Hizbu-Tahrir to Tanzeem Islami to so many other acronym-based organizations. I have introduced myself to numerous spiritual brotherhoods such as the Naqshabandi, Shadhili, and Ba-Alawi. And I even started up my own lttle group, the Muslim Kids Club, a Baltimore effort geared towards kids aged 7-12.

I'm a proto-typical Muslim-movement 'playa', sleeping around with so many while never having the guts to fully commit to any one of them - all the while thinking myself to be balanced and mainstream, looking down on the "one-trick ponies" who've naively giving up everything for that lonely cause of their choice.

But I fear my hidden trepidation and not-so-hidden pomposity has failed me.

No true success can ever come from sitting on the sidelines. And here I am sitting in the stands watching the single most important match, that of haqq (truth) vs batil (falsehood), scared to enter the competition, content with my sissie pom-poms.

I have for too long straddled the fence between activity and passivity, between commitment and lethargy.

Neither living for a cause nor dying for it - just going through the motions with noncommittal activism mixed with feigned piety.

Not sure why, but I have a theory.

We have become a content people, lacking vigor and fire. We have adopted industry standard best-practices in risk management. Like a prudent fund manager, we have diversified our portfolios in hopes of minimizing our risks. We have become living examples of the adage 'Paralysis through Over-analysis'. With our safe 9-5 jobs, guaranteed pensions, and retirement plans, we have adopted a psyche fearful of taking risks and making commitment.

And this fear has seeped into our religious endeavors.

After all, we convince ourselves, you'll never suffer the ignominy of divorce if you never get married. You'll never experience the bitter pain of a broken heart if you never fall in love. Right?

But what sort of existence is that?

Truth is that sleeping around is very dangerous - and that is equally applicable to the religious realm as it is to the physical world.

It's time to throw caution to the wind and do away with our 'judicious restraint'.

It's time we moved beyond the safe confines of our comfort zones and trudged into the realm of sacrifice and struggle.

Whether it be going out for 40 days with Tablighi Jamaat (and thereafter committing one's life to the cause) or giving baya'a to Dr Israr Ahmed or diving headfirst into one's local Ikhwan chapter or joining a Sufi silsila (brotherhood), let us all put our money where our mouth is.

Let us stop dilly-dallying.

that the 10 most blessed days of the year are upon us. Try and take advantage of them.

While so many of us are keen to perform extra acts of worship in the last 10 nights of Ramadan, we are too lax when it comes to these 10 days of Dhul-Hijja.

Let us make this year different.

You can start by reading this and this.

what an agent provocateur looks like? Well, dear reader, wonder no more!

Yours truly has uncovered rare footage of not one, but TWO of these elusive creatures in the wild:



Seriously, these guys can't seriously expect us to take them seriously.

Seriously??

I don't even know where to begin. I could take the more serious route and present the Islamic argument on where they have strayed. Or I could simply treat them like Larry, Mo, and Curly and expose them for the stooges they really are.

Hmmmmm....that's a tough one.

I'll choose Entrapment Stooges for $300, Alex.

First off, the poor saps are trying their darndest to convince Joe SixPack of their Muslim extremist credentials. One of them swears his love for OBL, going so far as to declare that he loves OBL more than himself! (huh?!) And when the topic of Israel comes up, he's able to inject the famous Mahmoud Ahmadinejad line of wiping it off the map.

Impressive - both OBL and Ahmadinejad referenced in one interview. Bogeyman caricaturing has never been so easy. Oh wait, I forgot to mention their donning of the keffiyeh. No Muslim stereotype is complete without it!

Then his buddy goes on about how the Quran commands Muslims to terrorize all non-Muslims, even quoting the exact word in Arabic (with impressive pronunciation I might add). But I'm extremely disappointed that Agent McFly failed to quote the more fiery verse of 'slay them wherever you find them.'

Tsk, tsk. The researchers back at base must have slept on this one.

In their defense, they've done a respectable job in presenting themselves as 'real' Muslims to the larger Muslim community. With their smooth Arabic, requisite elements for the hardcore Islamic look (bushy beard, kufi and keffiyah), limited knowledge of the Quran and Hadith (I liked their twist on the famous hadith where Umar swears his love for the Prophet (saw) by stating that he loves the Prophet more than himself, but this goof instead swears by Allah that he loves OBL more than himself) - these guys present just enough a veneer of Muslim thugishness to bedazzle, bewilder, and be-stupefy* the masses.

Finally, one of them admits to having (coincidentally) known the young Muslims Americans involved in three separate cases dealing with plots to carry out terrorist acts. But he washes his hands of them when he declares "I would not do it myself."

Of course not. Your job is to entice, enlist, and entrap.

These jokers are the GWoT equivalent of IT honeypots - Fake computing systems designed to bait hackers so IT security surveillance teams can collect information on the latest hacking techniques.

The only fools who would take these schmucks seriously are naive Americans and even more naive young Muslims.

...(pause to think)...

Oh crap!
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*My made up word. I couldn't think of another word starting with 'be'