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Showing posts with label Modernity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Modernity. Show all posts

Controlling our Narrative

Monday, November 11, 2013

Let us all stop being manipulated. Let us stop our mouths from watering every time the bell rings. Let us stop being knee-jerk consumers of 24-hour news channels, internet crazes, and instant feeds.

Let us begin dictating our own agenda. Let us decide for ourselves what is worthy of our attention. Let us raise the bar in inter- and intra-communal discussions.

For every video showing a Taliban beating some lady, let us refrain from commenting at the behest of wider society. For every news story highlighting the plight of Saudi women and their prohibition from driving, let us turn our backs on outside forces dictating the relevancy of certain issues (and thus the irrelevancy of so many other). For every video of a Saudi beating an expat worker, let us avoid being goaded into an apologetic response merely to appease our host nations. For every nutjob Muslim highlighted for acting like a nutjob, let us stop validating the highlighters by psychoanalyzing the nutjob.

Let us stop digging ourselves deeper into our hole by continuously answering, ‘When did you stop beating your wife?’ Just as we understand the idiocy in replying to that question, we must also understand the madness in responding to every sensationalized whoop and holler highlighted in our newsfeeds.

We need to begin framing our own context and establishing our own position instead of responding to foolish viral videos and cultural phenomena that serve to only further substantiate prejudices and biases. Instead of fostering an enlightened alternative, we are only nourishing the degenerate beasts of shock journalism, snuff entertainment, and socio-cultural rubbernecking.

Must we have an opinion on every shmuck getting her fifteen minutes of fame? Must we demean ourselves with water cooler discussions about the latest video phenom on Youtube?

Or maybe we can choose the high-road and become prophetic, not only in our daily worship, but in our consumption of daily culture. Let us stop shrouding these instances of cultural flatulence in faux discussions of morality and ethics and instead, insist on meaningful conversations rich with substance and import, consistent with our agenda and beliefs.

Monday, November 11, 2013 | Labels: Media, Modernity, Muslims, social problems, Western Culture |   6 Comments  

Dangers of (H)Over-Parenting

Friday, November 11, 2011

Ever since ever, I’ve been a strong advocate of old-school parenting – where the child is taught that the world does not revolve around him.  I strongly believe that a child ought to be taught to serve her elders, as a means of nipping in the bud any form of self-absorption or sense of entitlement.  And I’ve always considered it acceptable to allow a child to fall down and pick himself up on his own.

That’s why I absolutely love this article. I’m learning that parenting is a fine balance between expressing unconditional love for the child while simultaneously maintaining a level of indifference.  Crazy, right?

The child needs to learn that the parents won’t always be there to save the day. And this requires us to force ourselves to turn away when they are going through painful experiences. Obviously, it doesn’t mean that I turn my back on them when they are in dire need, but I need to give them space to fall down and get back up:

Dan Kindlon, a child psychologist and lecturer at Harvard, warns against what he calls our “discomfort with discomfort” in his book Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age. If kids can’t experience painful feelings, Kindlon told me when I called him not long ago, they won’t develop “psychological immunity.”

“It’s like the way our body’s immune system develops,” he explained. “You have to be exposed to pathogens, or your body won’t know how to respond to an attack. Kids also need exposure to discomfort, failure, and struggle. I know parents who call up the school to complain if their kid doesn’t get to be in the school play or make the cut for the baseball team. I know of one kid who said that he didn’t like another kid in the carpool, so instead of having their child learn to tolerate the other kid, they offered to drive him to school themselves. By the time they’re teenagers, they have no experience with hardship. Civilization is about adapting to less-than-perfect situations, yet parents often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness, which is ‘I can fix this.’”

Also I really believe that so much of this helicopter parenting, where the parents hover over the child, is about parents and their inability to create a life outside of their nuclear homes.  With the extended family having gone the way of the 8-track and box-set televisions, higher divorce rates leaving parents isolated, as well as social circles becoming smaller and smaller, too many parents have nothing but their children left as social outlets:

We have less community nowadays—we’re more isolated as adults, more people are divorced—and we genuinely like spending time with our kids. We hope they’ll think of us as their best friends, which is different from parents who wanted their kids to appreciate them, but didn’t need them to be their pals. But many of us text with our kids several times a day, and would miss it if it didn’t happen. So instead of being peeved that they ask for help with the minutiae of their days, we encourage it.”

As a homeschooling parent, I embarrassingly admit that I have my hovering skills pretty much in high gear.  My wife and I are constantly aware of our children’s state of being.  We are greatly involved in their daily activities.  But the greatest difference, I believe, between my style and that of my counterparts profiled in this article is my lack of constant approval.

I try to balance my ‘shabaash’ and ‘atta boys’ with ‘you’re work is terrible’ and ‘get out of my face!’

Meanwhile, rates of anxiety and depression have also risen in tandem with self-esteem. Why is this? “Narcissists are happy when they’re younger, because they’re the center of the universe,” Twenge explains. “Their parents act like their servants, shuttling them to any activity they choose and catering to their every desire. Parents are constantly telling their children how special and talented they are. This gives them an inflated view of their specialness compared to other human beings. Instead of feeling good about themselves, they feel better than everyone else.”

The old-school father in me has always felt comfortable in setting limits for my kids.  And with kids being kids, these limits are always being tested, but it’s essential that the parent be prepared to say no and simply walk away.  Tears may be shed and emotions will be high, but the principle always overrides these temporary fits of emotion.

But the one place where I clearly feel I have fallen short is in giving my kids too many choices.  I am always waffling between giving them the ‘responsibility’ to make adult choices and forcing decisions upon them.  Am I properly balancing this act?  Not sure.

As a parent, I’m all too familiar with this. I never said to my son, “Here’s your grilled-cheese sandwich.” I’d say, “Do you want the grilled cheese or the fish sticks?” On a Saturday, I’d say, “Do you want to go to the park or the beach?” Sometimes, if my preschooler was having a meltdown over the fact that we had to go to the grocery store, instead of swooping him up and wrestling him into the car, I’d give him a choice: “Do you want to go to Trader Joe’s or Ralphs?” (Once we got to the market, it was “Do you want the vanilla yogurt or the peach?”) But after I’d set up this paradigm, we couldn’t do anything unless he had a choice. One day when I said to him, “Please put your shoes on, we’re going to Trader Joe’s,” he replied matter-of-factly: “What are my other choices?” I told him there were no other choices—we needed something from Trader Joe’s. “But it’s not fair if I don’t get to decide too!” he pleaded ingenuously. He’d come to expect unlimited choice.

When I was my son’s age, I didn’t routinely get to choose my menu, or where to go on weekends—and the friends I asked say they didn’t, either. There was some negotiation, but not a lot, and we were content with that. We didn’t expect so much choice, so it didn’t bother us not to have it until we were older, when we were ready to handle the responsibility it requires. But today, Twenge says, “we treat our kids like adults when they’re children, and we infantilize them when they’re 18 years old.”

And finally, I completely agree with this concluding statement:

“In fact, by trying so hard to provide the perfectly happy childhood, we’re just making it harder for our kids to actually grow up. Maybe we parents are the ones who have some growing up to do—and some letting go.”

One more thought. Throughout my entire reading of this lengthy piece, I was overcome by the lack of spiritual discipline that exists for so many of these families.  I’m assuming that many of them may be church-going regulars, but sadly Christianity is completely lacking on this front.  One of the pillars of Islamic teaching is the constant battlefront we must maintain against our nafs.  And when this is a foundational teaching in the home, I’m convinced that many of these issues of narcissism, depression, low self-esteem, and what not can be better addressed.


Friday, November 11, 2011 | Labels: Modernity, raising kids, social problems |   4 Comments  

The Prophetic Life vs the Modern Life

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Recently I’ve been thinking about how completely discordant our modern lives are with the Prophetic model.  The more one tries throughout one’s day to earnestly adhere to the various acts of Sunnah, the more it becomes clear that life in the 21st century is quite inhospitable to the ideal Islamic way of life.

Before I continue, let me be clear here.  The Shariah has incorporated, by way of Allah’s Divine Mercy, mechanisms that tolerate and accommodate, throughout all time and space, the countless extremes found in human life. So I find nothing inherently anti-Islamic about life in the fast-paced Internet age we find ourselves in today.

That being said, when I try to mimic the life of my dear Prophet (saw) in this day and age, the incongruity between the two becomes very clear.  My pace of life simply doesn’t afford me the luxury to dutifully carry out all the voluntary acts of worship.

For example, most Muslims perform their five daily prayers void of the due reverence that the Prophet and his companions displayed.  From performing the Wudu with peace and serenity to attending congregational prayers at the Masjid to praying all the Sunnah/Nafl prayers, it would take at least 30 minutes for each prayer.  Now, who can afford two hours (not including Fajr) out of their busy daily schedule *solely for their prayers*?

Furthermore, what about the various Prophetic litanies, especially after Fajr and Maghrib, which would take an additional hour each day?

Then there is the Sunnah of staying awake from Fajr to Sunrise, reciting Quran/Dhikr, and finishing with the Duha salat.

And let’s not forget waking up for Tahajjud in the last third of the night.

Oh and then there are the Sunnahs of sleeping, such as sleeping immediately after Isha and reciting Surah Mulk and Ayat al-Kursi before sleeping.

I’ve mentioned some of the daily Prophetic acts of worship - acts which, in past generations, even the most casual of Muslims vigilantly maintained.  But beginning with our parent’s generation, I’m convinced that that number has dwindled down to only the select few.

How can one possibly perform all these deeds while equally maintaining a productive role in 21st century society?

How am I supposed to ensure my place in the first row of the masjid for every prayer? How am I supposed to stop whatever I am doing when the adhan is called, repeat after the mu’adhin, and then immediately rush to the masjid?

What of visiting close relatives and the sick, as well as helping the needy?  When do I find time for other Islamic acts such as dawah, gaining knowledge, and teaching others?

In order to loyally observe all the above, I would need to drastically alter the way I live my life. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, would have to take a back seat to my adherence to the Sunnah – family, friends, work, play, rest.

I am coming to believe that the two - the Sunnah way of life and the modern life - are unconditionally irreconcilable.  In order for one to thrive, the other must be sacrificed.

Personally speaking, my only extended moments of adherence to the Sunnah way of life have occurred when I visited Mecca or Madina, where the entire day’s schedule revolved around worshiping Allah (swt).  Only when I have withdrawn myself from the modern life have I been successful in recreating a daily schedule even remotely close to that of the Prophet's.

Obviously, such an indulgence is not available to the vast majority, so we must make (major?) adjustments to our daily lives if we wish to faithfully imitate the life of our beloved Prophet (saw).

I’m not simply referring to incorporating a handful of Sunnah acts into our daily lives.   In order to holistically actualize the Prophetic way of life, we have to adopt his worldview when designing and molding our lives.  This includes our priorities, our pace of life, our modes of entertainment, our sources of sustenance, our relations, and so on.

Where to begin? 

I’m open to suggestions.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011 | Labels: clash of civilizations, East meets West, Modernity, Prophetic Love, Western Culture |   10 Comments  

Refresh your Wudu

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Every now and then, we are struck with gentle reminders by the Most Subtle - Al-Lateef - (swt) that our fast-paced life is not the most conducive way to gain nearness to Him. This video is one of those reminder:


(h/t Deenport)

All too often we take our Wudu for granted, whizzing through it without any sense of spiritual awareness. Even this most basic act of worship, which many of us learned in our childhood, has the potential to be a refreshing spiritual experience.

But only if we allow it.

I found this video very effective in injecting some life into one of my more 'programmed' acts of worship. I really need more humanity in my worship. I guess that's what happens when we gain all our knowledge from books and mp3 lectures.

(Sigh)

Thursday, July 14, 2011 | Labels: Divine Rememberance, Islam, Modernity, Spirituality |   2 Comments  

Failure of the Schooling System (Part 2 of 2)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’*

This oft-repeated question heard across countless primary schools quite nicely sums up the problem with schooling. For the purpose of school is not about what you want to achieve when you grow up or how you want to improve society, but about which career path you wish to choose. The purpose of schooling is to get you a job. The purpose is to create cogs for the economic machinery – you may become a dull cog (garbage man, waiter, teacher) or a shiny cog (lawyer, doctor), but cogs you will all become.

Schooling creates career professionals. This is pounded into students from day one with the constant question of what you want to become.

This is the major concern for high schoolers when they choose a university to attend.
This is the major concern at the university level when students choose which degree to pursue.
And this is the major concern when the college student graduates and ‘enters’ into society.

Education has always taken a back to seat to careerism.

After all, every society has its own barometer of success. Hunter-gatherer societies placed a premium on those with adept hunting skills. Societies based on warfare deemed an individual with excellent fighting skills as successful. Tribal societies perceived strength in numbers, so a large number of sons was considered invaluable. In our modern capitalist society, one who has a ‘nice job’ and thus has accrued the most wealth is considered most successful.

But as Muslims, we have our divinely-sanctioned definition of success – faith and piety. Regardless of how good or bad we may be at hunting, fighting, or shopping, our success is measured by our level of spiritual development and servitude to our Lord.

And so, schools have failed at developing humans and have merely become the gatekeepers for the job-based professional economy as well as the national military. They have perfected the means for churning out ‘human resources’, citizens pliant enough to subserviently fit into the capitalistic model or become unquestioning soldiers in the battlefield. Schools excel at producing eager consumers and smoothly functioning bureaucrats.

Additionally, I am convinced that sending our kids off to school for 8 hours a day to be raised by complete strangers contaminates the parent-child bond. It plants the seed of deviation away from the parent’s thought-process. It paves the way for the child to accept, maybe even celebrate, a difference of opinion with his parents.

Once this reverence is corrupted, the child ceases to see the parents as sources of guidance deserving ultimate respect, viewing them instead as guardians charged merely with the child’s physical well-being and sustenance. The influence and sovereignty of the parents is eventually replaced by outside institutions such as school, government, or pop-culture.

Instead of impressing upon them the importance of family, religion, and community (social values that schools of the past focused on), modern day schooling hammers into our children’s minds that the most important goal is to get into a good college. And they must get into a good college in order to get a good job. And they must get a good job so as to live a comfortable life.

And that, my fellow readers, is the crux of the schooling failure.

The essential goal of schooling is materialistic success. Anything more is icing on the cake. Enlightening of the child’s mind, if it occurs, is merely accidental. To say otherwise is naïve at best.

I’m choosing not to be naïve.

----------
*I ranted in a previous post on my issues with a similar socio-cultural phenomenon - the casual question of 'What do you do?'

Wednesday, June 29, 2011 | Labels: capitalism, Modernity, raising kids, social problems |   6 Comments  

Failure of the Schooling System (Part 1 of 2)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Having two school-age children (ages 12 and 10), education is of the utmost importance to me. I have sent both of them to school since KG and after years of persistent frustration, I have come to the conclusion that modern-day schooling is one of the greatest wastes of time.

I am convinced that schools are in the business of training, not educating, our children - in the same manner that animals are trained. Schools are factories of mass human training. They replicate the industrial model found in automated factories, churning out graduates in the same way factories churn out cars or laptops.

Schools produce graduates, not human beings. Schools excel at preparing their end-product for a capitalistic life in modern society. Schools provide a hierarchical education for a hierarchical society, embodied by the cubicle corporate lifestyle. Schools are perfect at producing docile, obedient citizens content with the status quo. Schools fill the role of creating cogs necessary for the machinery of society.

Schools do not engender a strong family or culture or religion. In fact, they undermine all of the above, replacing them instead with loyalty to the self, nation, and institutions.

The potential of most every child is stunted by this schooling system. I refer not to the ‘educational’ potential – that potential measured by report cards and SAT scores. Rather, I refer to the human potential – that potential to be a complete Adamic human being, who understands the true nature of the universe in ways the angels cannot even comprehend.

Our humanity is measured by more than grades and report cards. Life is more than homework and tests. Knowledge is more than some concocted curriculum taught at school.

Children and young adults need to understand man’s place in the universe. They need to actualize the higher purposes of life. They need to learn about the spiritual even more than the physical. They need to embody higher morals and ethics.

And this is not material that can be covered a few hours a week at Sunday schools. These subjects are the crux of our very being and yet, we have all accepted a model of education where these fundamentals are given lip service at our local Masjid. We have silently fallen in line with the rest of society, choosing to focus our children’s intellectual efforts on worldly studies.

And it’s not as if the schools excel in the worldly studies. In addition to the incredible absence of spiritual guidance, the schooling system fails to prepare children for the real world. Schools leave them disconnected, existing in a created space dedicated purely to children.

We fail to engage our children in mature topics, viewing them as mere receptacles for useless information such as Social Studies, Health, and Language Arts. When will they learn the affairs of the adult world? We coddle them in a manner that stunts their maturation process, leaving us with 23-year old adults playing video games and watching UFC.

Manufactured concepts, such as teens and tweens, thrive and take over the mind of young adults, robbing them of their productive place in greater society. Instead they are relegated to the periphery, in classrooms and study halls, playing nary a role in society at large.

After years of schooling my own children in this failed system, I have cast aside the artificial importance placed on my child’s ability to memorize data and regurgitate it for testing purposes. I have rejected all the counterproductive efforts required for homework, school projects, and exams. While the schooling system may prepare my child for the next grade or a good college or a good job, it fails miserably at producing a complete human being.

So I’m choosing to focus on educating my children instead of training them. Maybe they won’t become ‘successful’ engineers or lawyers or doctors (only a small percentage of all schooled children actually do), but my definition of success is not dictated by mainstream society.

Thursday, June 23, 2011 | Labels: capitalism, Modernity, raising kids, social problems |   11 Comments  

The Evil of Sugar

Friday, May 27, 2011

I wholeheartedly urge all of you to watch this 90-minute presentation called "Sugar: The Bitter Truth". This specialist in childhood obesity from the University of California, Dr. Robert Lustig, gives an extremely convincing argument for looking at sugar as a poison or a toxin.

And if you find that 90-minutes is too long, then read this NY Times article summarizing Lustig's argument. I watched the presentation a few weeks ago and I read the article just yesterday and I actually preferred the article. Easier to keep up with the nuances and details.

And if even the article is too long for you, then allow me to summarize them both:

SUGAR SUCKS!

According to a 1986 FDA-sponsored study on sugar, individuals limiting themselves to 40 pounds of added sugar (the sugar beyond what we get from fruits and vegetables) per year demonstrated no conclusive proof of harm. Forty pounds per year amounts to 200 calories of sugar per day or the equivalent of a can and a half of soda or two cups of apple juice. Unfortunately, in the 80's, it was estimated that the average annual consumption of sugar was around 75 pounds a year!

So even back then, our levels of sugar consumption were potentially problematic according to that conservative study. "By the early 2000s, according to the U.S.D.A., we had increased our consumption to more than 90 pounds per person per year."

So clearly our diet has resulted in an unmaintainable rate of sugar consumption. But getting fat is the least of our worries. Recent studies are showing a strong correlation between sugar and insulin resistance.

"...if the fructose hits the liver in sufficient quantity and with sufficient speed, the liver will convert much of it to fat. This apparently induces a condition known as insulin resistance, which is now considered the fundamental problem in obesity, and the underlying defect in heart disease and in the type of diabetes, type 2, that is common to obese and overweight individuals. It might also be the underlying defect in many cancers."


The way our body metabolizes sugar and high-fructose corn syrup is extremely problematic.

"It very well may be true that sugar and high-fructose corn syrup, because of the unique way in which we metabolize fructose and at the levels we now consume it, cause fat to accumulate in our livers followed by insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome, and so trigger the process that leads to heart disease, diabetes and obesity. They could indeed be toxic, but they take years to do their damage. It doesn’t happen overnight."


That being said, scientists haven't been able to conclusively correlate the increased amounts of sugar and high-fructose corn syrup to heart disease, diabetes, obesity, or some forms of cancer.

Yeah, even cancer.

"Cancer researchers now consider that the problem with insulin resistance is that it leads us to secrete more insulin, and insulin (as well as a related hormone known as insulin-like growth factor) actually promotes tumor growth."


So, eventhough many studies are inconclusive, two of the leading experts on cancer and its potential link to insulin, Craig Thompson and Lewis Cantley have both taken the extreme measure of removing sugar from their diets.

"“I have eliminated refined sugar from my diet and eat as little as I possibly can,” Thompson told me, “because I believe ultimately it’s something I can do to decrease my risk of cancer.” Cantley put it this way: “Sugar scares me.”"

Indeed, sugar scares me as well.

With young children of my own, I am struggling to wean them from the high levels of sugar in their diet. So much of the food and snacks available nowadays is full of sugar. For now I'm focusing on two basic rules in our home: no sugar-infested drinks (replaced with milk and water) and lots of fruits. Simple steps that I suggest everyone else take as well.

Friday, May 27, 2011 | Labels: Modernity, Western Culture |   11 Comments  

Solitude and Leadership

Friday, January 14, 2011

A while back I posted on the Joy of Boredom and how it's actually very productive to experience extended moments of 'nothing'.

That's why I found myself so enthralled by this speech given to the incoming class at historic West Point Military Academy. William Deresiewicz speaks about moments of solitude being critical in developing an individual's own thoughts and ideas.

I would only add that in addition to everything the speaker said, imagine the power of solitude when combined with the 'company' of Allah (swt). After all, the concepts of khalwa (solitude) and muraqabah (isolated introspection) resonate throughout the spiritual teachings of our deen.

Indeed it is a sad reflection of our times (and of ourselves, moreso) that so many of us are simply incapable of sitting alone with just our thoughts and Allah (swt). We are constantly in need of external sources of stimulation. We are constantly in search of ways to avoid being alone with ourselves. Solitude is seen as a waste of valuable time. It has been deemed 'inefficient' by the calculus of modern society. But how else can we ever travel down the path of deep reflection and introspection?

And seeing that many of us are parents, the essence of this lecture ought to be passed along to our next generation.

Here's the link:

http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/

And here's a taste of what he says:

"You can just as easily consider this lecture to be about concentration as about solitude. Think about what the word means. It means gathering yourself together into a single point rather than letting yourself be dispersed everywhere into a cloud of electronic and social input. It seems to me that Facebook and Twitter and YouTube—and just so you don’t think this is a generational thing, TV and radio and magazines and even newspapers, too—are all ultimately just an elaborate excuse to run away from yourself. To avoid the difficult and troubling questions that being human throws in your way. Am I doing the right thing with my life? Do I believe the things I was taught as a child? What do the words I live by—words like duty, honor, and country—really mean? Am I happy?"

"Multitasking, in short, is not only not thinking, it impairs your ability to think. Thinking means concentrating on one thing long enough to develop an idea about it. Not learning other people's ideas, or memorizing a body of information, however much those may sometimes be useful. Developing your own ideas. In short, thinking for yourself. You simply cannot do that in bursts of 20 seconds at a time, constantly interrupted by Facebook messages or Twitter tweets, or fiddling with your iPod, or watching something on YouTube."

Friday, January 14, 2011 | Labels: Divine Rememberance, Modernity, Muslims, Spirituality, war on nafs, Western Culture |   0 Comments  

Spread of the Western Lifestyle

Sunday, January 9, 2011

So I’m reading this must-read article in the Wall Street Journal, ‘Chinese Mothers are Superior’, about the way Chinese mothers raise their children in a strict, disciplinarian manner with high standards - in stark contrast to the Western method of coddling and appeasing the child’s self-esteem. I must admit that eventhough I’m convinced of the benefits found in the former approach, I’m guilty of practicing the latter. Not sure if my American sensibilities get in the way or if it's my wife’s guilt trips, but for the most part I find myself regularly letting my kids off the hook. I seriously need to commit myself to the more effective Chinese approach but with the most critical element of Islam and spirituality injected into the mix.

Anyways, I somehow end up reading this other WSJ article discussing a parenting revolution taking place in China where the current generation of parents are leaning towards a more liberal approach to raising children. As cited in the article, one of the top-selling books in China, titled ‘A Good Mom Is Better Than a Good Teacher’, “encourages independence and freedom while cautioning parents against overprotecting their children.” This revolutionary parenting advice of nurturing independent thought and questioning authority are cornerstones of Western thought and fly directly in the face of traditional Chinese parenting techniques.

And then I recall seeing a recent news report about countless elderly Chinese parents living a life of isolation and seclusion. And so to curb this negative trend, the Chinese courts have allowed these parents to sue their children for neglect and disregard.

The first thing that springs to my mind, admittedly as an outsider, is the seeming disintegration of basic Chinese values that I have long admired. The Far East was a land where elders were respected and children knew their place. Granted, these values defining the child-parent relationship are essentially ‘Eastern’, found throughout the Muslim world and Africa as well, but China has always been the embodiment of all things East.

Sadly, it is truly indicative of the times we live in, where the tentacles of the Western lifestyle are not sparing any nation or land. China is just the latest in the list of casualties.

Sunday, January 09, 2011 | Labels: East meets West, Modernity, raising kids, social problems, Western Culture |   11 Comments  

Links of Interest

Friday, June 4, 2010

MM posted this amazing debate on the Freedom Flotilla massacre between Ahmed Bedier and the Israel consul general in Florida. I can't put into words how impressed I am by Ahmed Bedier.

Azra put up a flashy ad by a SA telecom in support of the World Cup. As I commented on her blog, these types of ads truly disgust me. They deify sports and athletes as objects of worship. The world stops when the game begins. It was done with Jordan many years ago and it's being done today.

Judge for yourself:



File this under 'News to me' - it's illegal to send money to the Taliban. Not just for American citizens, but for Emiratis.

Seems that these folks sent money to the Afghan Taliban and in return got beat up by UAE police, who also threatened to sexually abuse them or a family member, and eventually were sentenced for three years for financing a terrorist organization.

The arm of the American legal system is very long indeed.

Friday, June 04, 2010 | Labels: capitalism, Jihad, Modernity, Palestine, politics, Taliban, war on terror, web stuff |   3 Comments  

The Joy of Boredom

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

“Abujee, I’m booored”

Words that have always made me cringe. I strongly believe that children need to stop getting so agitated and restless with boredom. If they have nothing to do, their minds should offer them a limitless playground of ideas and thoughts.

“To be bored is to stop reacting to the external world, and to explore the internal one.” (source)

I fondly remember my youth when I would sit around the house waiting for my friends to come over and play. I would bide my time mulling around the house, sitting on the front porch, or quietly exploring my surroundings. Some days this could last half the day!

These moments to myself were so amazingly peaceful. An outsider would have thought them to be an immense waste of time, but looking back I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

No email. No TV. No video games. No distractions. Just me and the real world. Just me and the stone I was kicking. Just me and the tree I was climbing. Just me and the ants on the sidewalk. Just me and the cars passing by.

I look back wistfully at those long gone days of effortless simplicity.

I miss being bored. I miss the quietness of nothingness. I miss the concept of ‘spare time’ when one could hit the pause button on life. I’m not talking minutes folks – I’m talking hours.

And I now struggle to convey that sensation, that nostalgia to my children.
I struggle to impart upon them the other-worldliness of disconnecting from the all-encompassing virtual world.
I struggle to explain to them how disengaging from the twitchy distractions of this world will bring out their humanity.
I struggle to convince them that boredom ought to be embraced and celebrated, not rejected and disparaged.
I struggle to teach them that gadgets and trinkets, data and information, bits and bytes don’t make the person, but a thriving imagination, multifaceted emotions, and an intimate knowledge of yourself makes you a human.
I struggle to assure them that our senses need not constantly remain stimulated by external sources, rather the internal fountain of divine inspiration is forever flowing and can be tapped wherever and whenever we wish.

Instead, society is forcing me to cease my crusade on behalf of boredom while coaxing me to entertain my children.

“What? Your kids don’t have the Wii?! That’s inhumane!”
“What’s so wrong with giving them limited access to the Web?”
“Why do you deprive your children from visiting the likes of Disney World?”
“At least let your daughter have an email address. Let her join the rest of us in the 21st century.”
“What’s the big deal with letting your son have an iTouch?”


What’s the big deal?!

What’s the big deal with letting my kids feel and enjoy uninterrupted stints of boredom?
What’s the big deal with teaching my kids how to feel at peace while being alone?
What’s the big deal with allowing my kids to mull around the house with their senses on park, but their brains on hyperdrive?
What’s the big deal with giving my kids the freedom to simply be themselves?

Must I be forced to amuse my children to death?
Must I be forced to tether my children to the world?
Must I be forced to surrender my children to their nafs?

Alas, my dilemma is not isolated to my offspring, for I too wish to be free of these virtual chains that are slowly choking away our humanity.

I so desire to experience again the joy of boredom.

(Inspired by this article, Joy of Boredom)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 | Labels: Modernity, raising kids, Western Culture |   11 Comments  

Polygamy Question

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I'm not looking to pick a fight here or anything. The only subject more overhyped in the Muslim blogosphere than polygamy is hijab, so I'm not looking to revisit all the pros and cons of multiple wives.

I just want to see what people think about this semi-hypothetical situation:

A 34-year old sister is living with her parents after years of failed attempts at finding a suitor. Her family hasn't helped as they've rejected a few applicants due to petty cultural issues. She's become so desperate at wanting a child that she recently adopted an orphan baby.

A few weeks ago, a respectable business man in the community approached the father with a proposal that would make the daughter his second wife. The father laughed at the idea, followed by an immediate rejection. When the father came home and brought it up with the family, the daughter, after pondering over the situation, apprehensively came to a similar conclusion.

I say apprehensively since she has seen the writing on her wall and marriage is clearly a distant possibility. She fretted at the thought of sharing her man with another woman, but countered it with the possibility of having her own natural children. She savored the possibility of living in her own home with her own man, but shut that door with the social stigma of being a second wife.

So in the end, she played it safe and accepted her parent's decision.

The thought that immediately comes to my mind is how oppressive is the father (as well as the society) that simply will not entertain the possibility of this woman becoming a co-wife.

If all parties involved (the man, the first wife, and this sister in question) are accepting of the situation, who the hell are people to judge this polygamous relationship? What kind of irresponsible father places his own social circumstances and fears before the well-being of his daughter?

I just don't get it.

Saturday, May 15, 2010 | Labels: clash of civilizations, East meets West, Modernity, Muslims, social problems, Western Culture |   38 Comments  

Our Rizq Runs After Us

Friday, April 30, 2010

I am convinced that too many of us living in industrialized nations have lost sight of what it truly means to have trust in our Sustainer. With our guaranteed salaries and medical insurance and pension plans, our lives are meticulously laid out to safeguard against every possible curve ball thrown our way.

We have assured ourselves that our Rizq (sustenance), present and future, will come primarily from our own efforts. The more we struggle and strive, the more we shall accomplish and achieve. Sure, our belief system dictates that everything comes from Allah (swt), but our attitudes expose our hypocrisy.

Our provisions are not coming from Allah (swt), but from our paychecks.
Our medical services are not provided by Allah (swt), but by our health care provider.
Our homes and automobiles are not protected by Allah (swt), but by our insurance companies.
We feel secure since protection is provided by the police force and fire department.
We needn’t worry about losing our credit cards as the companies have policies protecting against fraud and theft.

And with everything guaranteed, insured, and protected, where has Allah (swt) gone in our daily lives?

Don’t get me wrong. None of what I mentioned is inherently wrong. They are merely ways we implement the Prophetic advice to ‘tie the camel’. But the problem arises when we become so consumed with securing the camel that we build a fence around it, install a camera system, and hire a security force.

Where did the second part of the famous Prophet guidance go (‘and trust in Allah’)?

We are so busy with establishing safety nets and emergency funds that we have forgotten the more essential principle of Trust in Allah. These devices are desperate measures created by a desperate civilization that has lost all ties with its Creator and Sustainer.

Yet, we are falling in full step behind them, mimicking their every act, in creating a lifestyle safe and secure from the randomness of Divine ‘interference’.

So instead of expending our energies towards higher goals and objectives, we have become infatuated with tying down the proverbial camel.

Modern society dictates that not only must we provide for today and tomorrow, but we must engage all our energies into securing next year and the year after. Not only must we strive to provide for our family’s basic necessities, but we must save up for college funds, expensive weddings, and retirement costs.

Allah (swt) will not provide, our actions scream. Our 401(K) will.

And with our trust in our Creator withering away, we feel a greater urgency to incessantly pursue our Rizq - all the while forgetting that our Rizq is actually running after us.

“And how many a living creature is there that takes no thought of its own sustenance; God provides for it as [He provides] for you - since He alone is all-hearing, all-knowing.” (29:60)

“And there is no living creature on earth but depends for its sustenance on God” (11:6)

Let us focus our efforts towards that which matters and leave our sustenance to the One who has sustained everything in this world since its inception.

Allow me to share a tale that nicely captures the essence of our sustenance and how, regardless of what we do, it runs after us:

In a remote village, a young man was asked by his gentle elderly mother to eat his breakfast before leaving home. Bursting with energy and in a rush to begin his day, he declined and scurried off on his way. Being the caring mother she was, she quickly ordered her young daughter to follow after the boy with the plate of food to ensure he ate it. Said the loving mother, ‘Do not let him see you, lest he reject it again. Simply leave the food nearby, so when he becomes hungry, he will eat it at his leisure.’

The sister surreptitiously followed her elder sibling through the forest all the way to the local river, where she watched as her brother jumped in for a morning swim. After he got out, he stretched out under a nearby tree and proceeded to take a nap. Figuring he would be hungry after his nap, she laid the plate of food some distance away from the tree and returned home, certain that her brother would eventually find his breakfast.

Coincidentally, a group of no-good hooligans were convening nearby and discussing plans for their next act of thievery. While arguing back and forth, the gang leader smelled the scent of fresh food and followed it back to the same plate. Desperate for a home-cooked meal , the lot of them eagerly decided to share the food amongst themselves, until the leader paused and reflected. He shared his concern that the plate could potentially be a devious plot concocted by a rival gang.

‘The food may contain poison’, he grumbled. ‘Scout around and see if you find one of them spying on us.’

They ran about looking for anyone hiding away, until they came upon the young man sleeping under the tree.

They immediately pounced upon him and carried him back to their leader, who ferociously demanded the boy confess to setting up the poisonous plate of food. The young man repeatedly denied it until the leader decided it best to ‘test’ the food by force-feeding the hapless lad.

They made him eat every last morsel and eagerly awaited for the poison to kick in. Soon thereafter, they realized that nothing of the sort would occur and so dejectedly beat the boy one last time and went on their way.

The boy limped his way home and upon seeing his bruised face, his mother shrieked, ‘What happened my son?!’

With half a smile, he admitted, ‘Dear mother, my Lord had decreed my sustenance in the form of your hearty breakfast. One way or another I was destined to eat it. I declined the choice to eat it by your blessed hands, so Allah willed for me to eat it by the punches and kicks of those less savory.'

Friday, April 30, 2010 | Labels: American Islam, capitalism, Modernity, Western Culture |   6 Comments  

Scourge of Secular Capitalist Islam - Part 1

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

As I was coming into my personal Islamic awareness many years ago, I was convinced that the light of Islam would reignite itself from within America, similar to how Prophet Musa (as) was raised and reared in the house of Pharoah. Back then, I viewed the Muslim world as backwards and in need of serious guidance – which American Muslims, stripped of cultural baggage and historical hiccups, would readily provide them.

But recently, I’ve begun to feel serious disillusionment with this entire “American Islam”* project.

Maybe it’s all the desperate talk of Islam being compatible with western democracy, which is in actuality a crooked corporatocracy.

Maybe it’s the post 9-11 lulling that saw so many Muslims tone down their stance against American's secular hedonistic ways and imperialistic aspirations out of fear of sounding unpatriotic.

Maybe it’s the unfounded need by American Muslims (under immense pressure from MSM and the American military industry) to constantly denounce terrorism and the unfortunate extension of this condemnation to now include Islamists, who, although having never partaken in acts of terrorism, have nonetheless incurred their wrath.

Maybe it’s the convenient acceptance by many American Muslims of principles of gender relations as understood by Western society, relegating centuries of Islamic tradition on the role of men and women to history’s dustbin.

Maybe it’s the glaring dilution of the Islamic concept of Jihad, or worse, its deliberate suppression altogether.

Maybe it’s the callous attitude of American Muslims striving for the American dream while participating in a system that is ravaging the entire world, politically, militarily, economically, and environmentally.

Maybe it’s the unquestioning adoption of capitalistic maxims which finds American Muslims enslaved by their struggles for better jobs, bigger homes, and nicer cars – all the while claiming to be adhering to the Sunnah of our Prophet (saw).

Whatever it is that’s causing my unease, my dear brother Yursil captured my feelings quite well with his recent posts on Suburban Capitalist Islam (Part 1 and Part 2). While he didn’t address all my grievances, he did well to introduce a long list of oddities found in American Islam.

I particularly like his characterization of American Muslims as naively accepting of their adopted culture, as long as it doesn’t outwardly contradict any Islamic teaching. This includes the whole McDonalds, blue jeans, and Hollywood outlook of American culture. The widely accepted view is that American Islam can be formulated by simply weeding out the haram components of American culture and freely embracing what remains.

The problem is that the ethos of these remains is not Islamic.

The result is not American Islam, but a twisted version that I prefer to call Secular Capitalist Islam (taken from Yursil's term 'Suburban Capitalist Islam'). This Islam is primarily American, with an Islamic veneer, not the other way around. It is NOT Islamic with simply an American twist, like what may be found in China or Indonesia or Africa – those instances of Islam were never born in such a hostile environment (to Islam in specific and religion in general), necessitating great conciliatory gestures from its followers:

Change can only come about by way of assimilation and integration - otherwise, we will be deemed foreigners, anarchists, or terrorists.
The interest-based banking system is too entrenched to be questioned – the best we can do is minimize our exposure.
The educational system is our fast-track to success, regardless of any negative socio-intellectual repercussions.
Mixing politics with religion is taboo.
Scaling the corporate ladder is the only way to prosperity.
Gluttonously living beyond our means is completely acceptable.
All technological advances must be blindly embraced, regardless of socio-spiritual impact.
All forms of entertainment (adapted to Islamic mores, of course) are a necessary release from the pressures accumulated in daily life - this includes movies, music, sports, vacations, etc.
Environmentalism is about reducing our ecological footprint, not reducing our consumption.

These are the views underlying Secular Capitalist Islam, the core of which is fundamentally at odds with the Quranic worldview. And no amount of window dressing can alter this reality.

Just like most everything else in American culture, we’ve opted for the drive-thru version of actualizing Islam in America. Our instant recipe consists of slapping on a hijab or growing a beard, implementing the personal acts of worship, meekly presenting Islam to our friends and coworkers, and attending feel-good weekend Islamic programs, all the while diving headfirst into the American way of life.

And yes, I am aware of the American Muslim mantra that we have greater religious freedom in the West than our counterparts in the Muslim world. That may be true. And if it is, it makes the sin of Secular Capitalist Islam even more egregious. For instead of using this freedom to become moral leaders in the West and challenge the status quo, American Muslims have chosen passivity and integration, fearful of the repercussions of speaking out.

Where is the sacrifice that is inherent in the declaration of Tauheed and rejection of Taghut?

Where is the sacrifice that is inherent in the proclamation of love for the Prophet (saw)?

Sadly, Secular Capitalist Islam has replaced these sacred endeavors with the very profane struggle for the American dream.

In part 2, I want to discuss the legacy our children will be inheriting from us, the founding fathers of Secular Capitalist Islam.
==================

*I place the term in quotes because I’m not comfortable with creating varying flavors of Islam, but since the term is commonly used by so many American Muslims, I’ve stuck with it.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 | Labels: American Islam, capitalism, East meets West, Islam, Modernity, Muslims, social problems, Western Culture |   26 Comments  

Science Stunted My Faith

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins* ruined me.

I wish I had never learned how the sunrise is a result of the Earth's rotation.

I wish I had never learned that earthquakes are caused by the movement of tectonic plates.

I wish I had never learned how rain comes from condensation of water vapor carried within clouds.

I wish I had never learned that lightning is the discharge of atmospheric electricity accumulated within clouds.

I wish I had never learned how seasons are a result of the Earth's orbit around the Sun.

I wish had never learned about the body's immune system, white blood cells and all that other physio-medical-biological crap.

Can you imagine how much sweeter my faith in Allah would have been if I attributed all these natural phenomena solely to His direct involvement in my life, instead of viewing them as some bio-chemical reactions?

Every sunrise would be a reminder how Allah has 'pulled' this blazing ball of fire out from the horizon.

Every deluge of rain would be an instant cause to run to prayer thanking Allah for the blessing.

Every earthquake or volcanic eruption would be an immediate reminder of Allah's power and wrath.

Sickness and health would be the domain of Allah, not doctors and pharmacists.

I'm convinced that pre-Industrial Age Muslims had a sweeter taste of Iman due to their lack of scientific knowledge. We may laugh off their ignorance and backwardness, but I'm sure they were stronger in Iman than most of us - they attributed all these mysterious occurrences in nature to God.

They had no other recourse. They didn't analyze and rationalize every single natural phenomenon.

They took them as communications from their Creator. The universe was one great blessing (or trial) after another.

Merely looking up at the sky would inspire immediate awe in them as how could Allah place above them this magical canopy without pillars or poles.

But for us, the sky is simply an empty vacuum we call space.

I imagine every spring renewing and re-energizing their faith by their mere witnessing of the dead plants coming back to life.

But not us - we see photosynthesis in action.

Just great.

Damn you Mrs. Jenkins.

*Original names have been altered to protect the identity of stupid 8th grade science teachers.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009 | Labels: Divine Rememberance, Islam, Modernity, Spirituality |   37 Comments  

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Naeem:
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