Naeem's Blog

So I’m sitting down eating my early morning breakfast (I’ve got 3 weeks left to fast my 6 days of Shawwal, get off my back!), secretly enjoying my children’s Reese’s Puffs cereal while they sleep. I turn the box around to check out the back and to my horror, this is what I see:

With the exception of #15, the list stands out for its glaring lack of character-developing activities. Truly reflective of today’s self-gratifying, me-first society.

Feed your nafs. Screw the world.

I say screw the artificial teenage construct.

So as a service to all the young lovers of Reese’s Puffs cereal, here’s my revised list of 18 things to do before turning 18:

1. Memorize the Quran.
2. Go camping and sleep under the stars.
3. Organize a festival at your local masjid.
4. Compete with your friends to recite the entire Quran during the month of Ramadan. First one gets a box of Reese’s Puffs.
5. Do Itikaaf in your local masjid.
6. With a group of your friends, visit a sick person.
7. Spend an extended period of time with your grandparents.
8. Perform Umrah/Hajj and break bread with as many strangers as possible.
9. Massage your mothers feet.
10. Say La-illah-il-Allah 1000 times in one sitting.
11. Pray Salat Tasbih
12. Volunteer as a mentor for a local youth club.
13. Pray Fajr in the desert.
14. Help a total stranger unload their grocery cart into their car.
15. Sacrifice a sheep with your own hands.
16. Plant a tree.
17. Get married.
18. Maintain your Islamic identity – yes!!

Any further suggestions?

Yeah, I know, its only been a few days since Ramadan ended. But I tell you, spiritually it feels like months have passed. I'm really looking forward to fasting the 6 days of Shawwal, if only to give me a good kick in the butt and get myself back into the Ramadan frame of mind.

I’ve been thinking about my asteroid-like downwards spiral in these immediate post-Ramadan days (lemme just say that I'm back to struggling to wake up for Fajr - but wait, does having a newborn infant count as an excuse? Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm doing squat with regards to the baby).

I guess now the REAL challenge has begun.

Without the added incentives of Ramadan to entice us into extra acts of worship, with the devils unleashed to prey upon our feeble souls, and with our bellies stuffed with food beyond our needs, waking up for tahajjud, fasting the optional fasts, and reading the Quran on a consistent basis has become so much more challenging, and dare I say, so much more rewarding.

And in search of ways to keep the Ramadan spirit alive, I found this post by Sr. Amal to be very practical.

For those looking for a more preachy post, here’s a good article on Saving the Changes from Ramadan.

I know, I know, Ramadan is over. But my RinR series lives on! Woohoo!

So far I've written on the buildup to Ramadan, the Saudi Shift in the schedule, and the activities during Iftar time.

This last post will be about the Tarawih prayers.

I’m not sure if I’ve said this before or not, but one of the best things about Riyadh is the easy accessibility to Masjids. They’re everywhere.

If the time for prayer has arrived and you don’t see a masjid off the main road, a simple turn into a side street is sure to find you a smaller local masjid.

Guaranteed.

And during Ramadan, almost every single one of these masjids is offering Tarawih prayers. This plethora of praying places provides you with a vast array of styles and settings.

Some recite quickly while others are slower.
Some pray longer while others are shorter.
Some masjids are overflowing while others barely complete the first row.
Some offer water and tea while others have only tissues.
One popular masjid even has space setup on the open rooftop with overhanging pipes spraying cool mist onto the congregation!

But the true highlight of the Tarawih prayers is the abundance of beautiful reciters of the Quran. Riyadh definitely is not lacking in that department. There are the big name Imams, such as Adil Kalbani, Yasir Dossari, and Nasir Qitami. Thousands flock to their massive masjids creating a special aura that only Ramadan can provide.

And then there are the gems found in the smaller community masjids. Many a time I’ve found myself driving around the side streets with my windows rolled down, listening for a recitation that catches my heart.

But I have one true love when it comes to Tarawih prayers. His name is Muhammad Al-Heedan and his recitation goes straight to my core. Here’s his amazing recitation of Sura Muhammad (wait for him to 'hit his note' around a minute into the recitation).

Another nice treat is the Qiyam-ul-Layl (Standing of the night), referring to the prayers made late into the night, an hour or so before Suhoor. In the last ten nights, almost all the masjids offer this special night prayer.

It’s a nice boost, a nice change of pace from the first twenty nights, a nice chance to get extra acts of worship before Ramadan finally leaves us.

And then there is the Witr prayer at the end of the Tarawih, punctuated with its beautiful dua’a. Every night ends with a beautiful supplication. Some Imams get very emotional, squeezing out tears from even the hardest of hearts, giving one a sense of spiritual refreshness and a lighter heart.

I really love the Tarawih prayers in Riyadh.

PS. Unique Muslimah has also a very nice post on Tarawih prayers in Cairo. A nice read.

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Ramadan in Riyadh (RinR) - The Arrival
RinR - The Saudi Schedule Shift
RinR - Iftar Time
RinR - Tarawih prayers

I pray that everyone was able to take advantage of the blessings of Ramadan.

I pray that we all exited the month having attained the forgiveness of our Lord.

I pray that everyone has an enjoyable and safe Eid with their family and friends.

Oh and I found this tidbit of news pretty interesting: NYC is planning on lighting up the Empire States Building green in celebration of Eid (h/t to Sister Tradicionalista).

I have mixed feelings about the gesture, but since we're in the festive season of Eid, I won't be a sourpuss.

Organic Muslimah has a very simple, yet very powerful post on the sins we commit and the Love displayed by Allah (swt) in concealing those sins. I highly recommend you all to give it a quick read and then turn to Allah (swt) and thank Him for His Mercy in concealing our misdeeds, shortcomings, sins, and errors.

Her post reminded me of a powerful dua'a made by Sh. Zulfiqar Ahmed, the spirit of which I have incorporated into this dua:

"Ya Allah, on that Day when I will be standing before You with nothing but my deeds, I beg of You to show Mercy on my pitiful soul. I beg of You to forgive me for all my shortcomings and please Ya Allah, please do not take me to account for all that I have done.

I am truly embarrassed and ashamed.

But if You must take account of all my sins,
if You must expose me for the charlatan that I have been,
if You must reveal the despicable demons thriving in the depths of my soul,
if You must divulge the details of my horrid past in front of all mankind,

Then please Ya Allah, I beg of You not to do so in front of my beloved Muhammad (saw). Please conceal my hisaab (accounting of deeds) from him (saw).

Ya Allah, it would kill me to see the look of disappointment on his face,
to see how I've let him down,
to see him shaking his head in disbelief at the monstrosity of my mistakes,
to see him saddened by my heedlessness,
to see him embarrassed to have me counted as one of his Ummah.

Please do not let him be witness to the sins I have committed, the haram I have seen, the horrible words I have uttered, the deplorable places I have visited.

So when my hand and feet are made to testify against me and my heart is exposed for the blackened coal that it is and my nafs releases its stench for all to smell, I implore You please turn my Habib (saw) away so he is not witness to my ignominy.

And if through Your infinite Justice, You determine my fate to be in the Hellfire, please do not allow him to see me being dragged by my forelock, crying and screaming, and flung into the dark abyss.

For truly the look of disappointment in his eyes would burn me greater than any flame in the Hellfire.

While I realize that I cannot conceal my sins from You, I implore You, on that grave Day when Your beloved and mine is standing before us, please do not bare my disgraceful soul in the company of my dear Prophet Muhammad."

Just got back from a quick 24-hour jaunt to Mecca and Madina. Amazing and spiritually rejuvenating as always. It’s an inexplicable blessing how every time I go I unfailingly feel a sense of spiritual awakening. I fear for the day when I go to the House of Allah (swt) and come back in the same state.

The one thing that really stood out for me was the timing of our trip. Looking back, it seems as if Allah (swt) Himself wrote out our itinerary.

Our original plan to go was to leave Sunday, but one of the brothers couldn’t make it, so we postponed it a day. That enabled us, through no conscious planning on our behalf, to be in Mecca on the night of the 27th.

Secondly, we just happened to arrive there at 1am, which enabled us to perform our Umrah in sync with the Tahajjud prayers (which last from 1-3am). Thus, when we finished our Umrah, it was at the exact moment of the Witr dua’a.

So there I was standing on the mount of Marwa (where the Umrah rites are completed), joining the millions of supplicants in making dua’a to Allah.

Could we have planned it any better?

On a more logistical note, the crowds were unbelievably congested. Every year the Saudi authorities allow more and more, which really bothers me as it seems the objective is purely economical.

It's very troublesome, especially when one considers that the Saudi government could very easily provide better welfare for the locals (they have oil, if you haven’t heard), but instead choose to loosen the quotas and allow millions more than what the local infrastructure can support.

It truly puts a damper on what ought to be a super-spiritual experience.

Anyways, my exposure to the overcrowding was very limited. We were there for only a few hours. We did our Umrah, ate Suhoor, prayed Fajr, and moved on to Madina.

Madina, as always, was much more serene. We gave our salutations to our beloved Prophet (saw) and returned back home.

But before we left, I was blessed to meet up with the great MrEspy, who is doing some sort of pseudo-‘Itikaaf, which enables him to leave the Haram as he pleases.

I have only one thing to say about my encounter with the good brother. I’ve been to Madina more than 10 times in the past 4 years and never has my car been towed. Never. That is until now.

Good thing Muslims don’t believe in bad omens.

Oh and he never kept his promise about sharing his wife’s samosas when we would meet in Madina.

What a fraud.

Have you ever heard of Dua'a al-Kumayl?

If not, now is the time to read (and listen) to it.

Better yet, save it for the last third of the night as everyone else lays asleep and you find yourself alone with your Creator.

Even a hardened, darkened, rusted heart as mine was able to scrounge enough fear of its Lord to shed a tear when pondering over this most amazing of dua'as.

Here are but a few gems from this prayer:

"Therefore, my Lord! I implore Thee by Thy greatness not to let my sins and my misdeeds shut out access to my prayers from reaching Thy realm and not to disgrace me by exposing those (hidden ones) of which Thou hast knowledge nor to hasten my retribution for those vices and misdeeds committed by me in secret which were due to evil mindedness, ignorance, excessive lustfulness and my negligence"

"O' my God! My master! My Lord! And my Nourisher! What! Wilt Thou see me punished with the fire kindled by Thee despite my belief in Thy unity?

And despite the fact that my heart has been filled with (pure) knowledge of Thee and when my tongue has repeatedly praised Thee and my conscience has acknowledged Thy love and despite my sincere confessions (of my sins) and my humble entreaties submissively made to Thy divinity?

Nay, Thou art far too kind and generous to destroy one whom thyself nourished and supported, or to drive away from Thyself one whom Thou has kept under Thy protection, or to scare away one whom Thy self hast given shelter, or to abandon in affliction one Thou hast maintained and to whom Thou hast been merciful"

"O' my Lord! By Thy honour truly do I swear that, if Thou wilt allow my power of speech to be retained by me in the hell, I shall amongst its inmates cry out bewailingly unto Thee like the cry of those who have faith in Thy kindness and compassion And I shall bemoan for Thee (for being deprived of nearness to Thee) the lamentation of those who are bereaved, and I shall keep on calling unto Thee: 'Where art Thou o' Friend of the believers! O' (Thou who art) the last hope and resort of those who acknowledge Thee and have faith in Thy clemency and kindness; o' Thou who art the helper of those seeking help! O' Thou who art dear to the hearts of those who truly believe in Thee! And o' Thou who art the Lord of the universe.'"

How can you not but weep at these most beautiful of words?!

O' wretched one!

Lift the veils from your heart!

Remove the rust engulfing it!

Soften the hardness encrusting it!

Open the floodgates of tears and make peace with your Lord!

Verily these are the days of Divine Forgiveness.

With everyone making calls for Islamic Reform, I thought I would get my two cents in as well.

Although my last attempt at Islamic Reform failed miserably, I'm gonna give it another try. This time, I'm suggesting that we all boycott Iftar invitations.

I seriously believe that Iftar dinners have gotten totally out of hand.

All too often, the Iftar dinners get carried away with buffets rivaling the fanciest of restaurants. Most Muslim cultures require the host to amicably force (not the Egyptians...they just force :->) the guests to eat as much as possible. As sincere as the intentions may be, this puts the guests in an awkward position for the remainder of the night and early-morning - waking up for Tahajjud with a full stomach is no easy feat.

I came to realize the problem plaguing the institution of the Iftar party when a dear brother politely declined my invitation. When I inquired, he explained that he has a set Ramadan schedule that he religiously sticks to every night and doesn't wish to upset the balance.

He explained that his schedule consists of limited food and extra worship, both of which become unfeasible when he accepts Iftar invitations.

I totally agree with his approach. While I acknowledge that Ramadan has a strong element of celebration and socialization, they mustn't take place at the expense of the greater spirit of taqwa (God-consciousness).

And let's not even begin with the inordinate amount of hours spent by the women slaving over these dishes, wasting valuable time better used for Dua'a, Dhikr, and Salah.

But these women are under an enormous amount of social pressure. What would people say if they only offered dates, soup, and rice?

Several years ago on the day before an Iftar dinner we were hosting, I remember suggesting to my wife, 'Let's go simple this year. How about daal (lentils) and chaval (rice)?' I'm quite sure the words she muttered under her breath invalidated her fast.

But isn't that the Prophetic spirit of Ramadan? (I mean the simplicity of the iftar, not the words of my wife) Surely the blessings of feeding a fasting person will be the same whether you offer a variety of two dishes or twelve dishes. I would even venture that the blessings would be greater with the two dishes when done with the simple spirit of the Sunnah.

The spiraling-out-of-control nature of Iftar parties reminds me of the dilemma of Pakistani wedding feasts back in the 90's. Weddings in Pakistan had gotten so ridiculous with everyone trying to outdo the other (financial requirements of these super-weddings required middle class folks to take imprudent loans or even delay weddings) that the government had to intervene.

Then-Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif imposed a ban on lavish dinners being served in wedding celebrations, allowing only finger foods. The ban was implemented via the wedding halls who would be fined if found to be in violation.

This somewhat leveled the playing field (we Pakistanis have ways around every law) and allowed those who couldn't afford the gaudy weddings to save face and hold a more simpler celebration.

Where O' where is Nawaz Sharif when we really need him?!

Oh yeah, he's exiled in Jeddah.

My point is that we need to simplify the Iftar dinners, not due to any financial difficulties placed on the hosts, but due to spiritual difficulties placed on the guests and physical difficulties placed on the cooking wives.

And until that happens, I'm formally proposing that everyone politely decline any future Iftar invitations.

Who's with me?

Forgetting it.

I was thinking about how many transgressions against Allah (swt) I have committed and it dawned on me that there are SO many more that I have totally forgotten.

And isn't that even worse?

Its bad enough when you hurt someone (especially someone you love), but the crime is compounded when you've totally forgotten about it,

AND you've never asked for forgiveness,

AND you remain persistent in repeating it!

So I remind you as I remind myself, to ask Allah for forgiveness for all the wrongs committed, remembered as well as forgotten.

We are in the midst of the season of Divine Forgiveness. Let us all confess our sins to our most Merciful Lord with the absolute certain knowledge that He *will* forgive us.

The most intriguing time of the Ramadan day is around Iftar time. I'm always fascinated by the buzz generated by the oncoming sunset.

The streets are busy with men running pre-iftar errands for the household. Grocery stores are crowded with shoppers. Take-out restaurants are overflowing with last minute orders. The streetside vegetable markets are packed to the extent of causing serious traffic jams.

Traffic

It never ceases to amaze me how Muslims (even the non-practicing ones) will patiently persevere all day long, not eating, drinking, or smoking, and then in the last hour before Maghrib, their patience runs out.

Cars are racing recklessly to reach their destination, without a care for others on the road.

It's been reported in several newspapers that car accidents are at the highest right before Iftar. I've been witness to so many red-lights being run that when I'm ever crossing an intersection (with my light being green), I proceed extremely cautiously, weary of a salivating young Saudi dreaming of fried sambosas and sweet juicy dates instead of yielding to the traffic signals.

Take a look at these two interesting articles highlighting the pre-Iftar problem:

"The doctor said that fights, too, seem to bring bleeding patients to the ER, especially before the iftar when there’s a mad rush to pick up traditional fast-breaking items, like sambousas and ful, and to get home before sunset."
[Article Link]

"road accidents were up 20 percent during Ramadan in 2004. Brig. Saad Al-Ghamdi of the Jeddah Traffic Department told the Arab News last year that accidents peak just before iftar." [Article Link]

Ghost Town

Several times, my family and I have gotten caught in the middle of the city at sunset and it’s the spookiest of sights. Downtown Riyadh is a very busy city with no public transportation, so the streets are almost always packed. But come Iftar time, I'm reminded of scenes from the movie 28 Days – the streets are totally empty.

I'll admit that this is not a Riyadh-specific phenomenon, as Unique Muslimah has cited how Cairo is the same. Nonetheless, having grown up in the US all my life, its such a neat spectacle to witness all the streets emptied with everyone huddled around dinner tables waiting for the call of the Maghrib adhan.

Another interesting scene occurs at the major traffic intersections. Young men are giving out small Iftar boxes consisting of dates, sandwiches, and juice for those who are still on the road at Maghrib time. My kids love it for the mystery of what's in each box while I find it to be very special as people are looking for every possible way to gain the blessings of feeding the fasting person.

Restaurants

Over the years, we've had the opportunity of visiting several restaurants for Iftar. I have very mixed feelings about going out to break our fast in Ramadan.

The positive is that the food is simply amazing. Most restaurants have buffets set up with the most sumptuous of dishes. We went to this one Lebanese place two weeks ago that had an unbelievable variety of food and every single dish was simply mouthwatering.

The negative is that the food is simply amazing. I'm totally crashed after eating at these places. I can barely get out of the restaurant, much less make it for Isha and Tarawih prayers. So in general we try to avoid going out as we end up either losing money (paying for the buffet and eating less than a full plate) or losing our prayers.

Insha'Allah, I'll wrap up this RinR series with one more post focusing on Tarawih prayers in Riyadh.

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Ramadan in Riyadh (RinR) - The Arrival
RinR - The Saudi Schedule Shift
RinR - Iftar Time
RinR - Tarawih prayers

I've written before on the unmatched love that Allah (swt) has for His servants. The oft-cited comparison given by our beloved Prophet (saw) is the love of the mother towards her child.

Now can you imagine if ever an individual were to curse the child, how would the mother react? She would lose her senses, 'How dare you utter such nonsense against my child?!', 'Who do you think you are?!', 'Don't you ever say such filth again!' and so on.

No mother can stand to hear anyone cursing her child.

So let us imagine the seriousness of the issue upon which Allah (swt) has allowed both His most favored angel, Jibril (as), and His most beloved human, Muhammad (saw), to collectively curse the servant of Allah (swt).

Angel Jibril (as) prayed, 'Cursed be the man who finds the month Ramadan and fails to attain the forgiveness of his Lord.'

The Prophet (saw) concurred by saying 'Ameen.'

Ya Allah! This is a gravely serious situation. Will we be of those cursed by Angel Jibril (as) and Prophet Muhammad (saw)?

The severity is compounded by the fact that Allah (swt) has made the road to forgiveness so very easy for us.

Hasn't He promised to accept the dua'a of the fasting person when he breaks his fast?

Hasn't He promised to free a number of people from the Hellfire every single night of Ramadan?

Hasn't He ordered the fish at the bottom of the sea to pray for the forgiveness of the fasting person?

Hasn't He given us the last third of the night where He Himself descends to the lowest heavens and asks "Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness so I can forgive him."?

Hasn’t our Prophet (saw) stated "Whoever observes fasts during the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping to attain Allah's rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven."?

So how fossilized have our hearts become that we have failed to avail these beneficent gestures made by our Creator to entice us towards Him and His Mercy?

It behooves us all to make a sincere effort, a sincere prayer, a single sincere plea to Allah (swt) to cleanse us of all past sins.

Too often I find myself going through the motions of making dua'a. Devoid of passion. Devoid of fervor. Devoid of sincerity.

I liked this short video clip for some insight on how we ought to be beseeching our Lord (h/t to Tariq):



Let us all raise our hands in these last few days of Ramadan and from the bottom of our hearts pray to Allah to wipe our filthy slates clean and give us a fresh start.

He (swt) is more than willing to uphold His end of the bargain. Can we fulfill our end?

I love breastfeeding.

I mean, I love the *act* of breastfeeding. Between the mother and child.

The beautiful act is so heavily laden with symbolism, it boggles the mind. The mother pouring out her love into the child. The child’s foundation coming from no other source but the mother. The life-long bond between the mother and the child cemented with the milk of the mother. And so on.

Simply beautiful.

Breastfeeding is truly a win-win situation for all parties involved.

First of all, the child gets all its needed nourishment from the healthy pure milk. No need for supplements, additives, and what not. Allah (swt) has made the milk perfect and complete.

The mother benefits as the act establishes a union that can not be replicated in any other way. She can lay claim to something that no other person in the world has done for the child. By feeding the child directly, the mother has created a connection with the child that can never be taken away. Never.

And most importantly, the father benefits.

Huh? The father?

Yes, even the father benefits.

You see, Ayah has this crazy upside-down schedule (she must be operating under the Saudi Shift) where she sleeps all day and is awake all night. And it’s during the course of the night that she decides to eat. And sadly (boo-hoo for me), this is something that I have no say in. Nature dictates that this act can only take place between mother and child. I'm SO jealous of my wife.

So I'm 'stuck' sleeping cuz I have nothing to offer.

Moral support? At 2 in the morning, my wife isn’t looking for emotional sustenance – she’s looking for her pillow.

Companionship? At 2 in the morning, my wife isn’t in the mood to talk (and neither am I).

The post feeding burp? Ayah looks so warm and snugly in her mother’s arms – it would be heartbreaking to separate them, no?

So its pretty much understood that I needn’t awaken with them. And folks, I plan to milk this bad boy for as long as it lasts (hey, was there a pun somewhere in there?).

After all, I deserve a break.

Have you ever lived with a pregnant woman for NINE MONTHS?! The constant mood swings, the crazy cravings, the monthly doctor visits, helping her get up, helping her sit down, carry this, carry that – it was like a full-time job.

But I won't be selfish and hog up all the sympathy...lets save some for my wife. I hear carrying a child isn't very easy...Well enough about her, let's get back to my pain and suffering.

Did I mention that Ayah took 12 hours to come out?! We were in the hospital for 12 long hours. That’s like a whole day people!

This kinda stuff leaves Deep. Emotional. Scars. Listen, any physical scars my wife may have gotten will eventually heal, but emotional scars last for a lifetime. A LIFETIME!

But I’m gonna man up and not complain. I haven’t said a single word to my wife about all the struggles I went through (thankfully, she doesn’t read my blog). So my immense sacrifices are for my Lord.

The same Lord Who has brought a semblance of universal harmony by giving the man a period of well-deserved rest - during the act of nocturnal breastfeeding.

Once Ramadan has arrived, the first thing one notices is the amazingly insane shift in the schedule, which I call the 'Saudi Shift'.

Night becomes day and day becomes night.

Most Saudis stay awake all night shopping, eating, visiting family, and running errands. Most stores and restaurants are open till 2 or 3 in the morning in response to this shift.

I was immediately exposed to the craziness of such a schedule during my first Ramadan here, when several of my coworkers took their annual 30 days of vacation during Ramadan. Being naïve I immediately assumed that they wanted to use the vacation to perform extra acts of worship or maybe stay an extended period of time in Mecca or Madina. But it was only later that I realized they use the vacation to sleep throughout the day and stay awake throughout the night.

And the schedule shift is not purely a social phenomenon. The work schedules reflect a similar shift, just not nearly as drastic. I work for the government sector and our hours are trimmed by three hours in the morning (we come in at 10am instead of the normal 7am).

The law firm where one friend of mine works has shortened their hours by almost 5 hours!

In all honesty, those extra hours are so very nice. Not because my family has made the 'Saudi shift' with our schedules - but an extra few hours of much needed sleep, especially after praying Tahajjud (not as much nor as often as I would like), eating Suhoor, and reading Quran after Fajr (one of the best times for this specific act of worship), goes a very long way during the day.

Now you can imagine how overall productivity takes a serious hit during Ramadan. The closest comparison I can think of is the week between Christmas and New Years, but stretch it out for an entire month, increase the inactivity factor by 100, and replace the alcohol-induced hangovers with the sleep-deprived hangovers. That's how slow it gets at the office.

Schools also make a similar adjustment by starting two hours later during the entire month. Again, a very convenient adjustment, especially for kids who are fasting. But one thing really did shock me the other day concerning the school scheduling.

Humza got a note from school informing us about special after-school activities during Ramadan. I was confused as to how they thought the boys would have any energy for sports while most of them would be fasting. To my great surprise, I found that the hours for these activities were from 9:30pm to 11:30pm. And that's for elementary school kids!

Humza is fast asleep by 8:30 every night and here they expect him to play sports until almost midnight. Truly insane!

On the plus side, you'll find many institutions willing to go the extra mile to assist the worshippers. One brother told me that his company actually gives the employees a day off for the performance of Umrah. Similarly, you'll be hardpressed to find a boss (especially in the government) who will reject your request for a day to go to Mecca or Madina.

And all government employees (which is almost half the workforce) are given their Eid vacation from the 24th of Ramadan upto the 6th of Shawwal. That gives them the opportunity to spend the last 5 nights of Ramadan in extra worship - one coworker of mine goes to Madina every year for 'Itikaaf.

Such is life in Saudi - the good mixed with the bad.

So while I think the Saudi shift is very much against the spirit of fasting, I love the accommodations that Saudi society has made for the fasting person - changes which in spirit were made to facilitate extra worship and ease the hardship of fasting but in practice are abused for less than holy reasons.

On a side note, I hear that a similar shift takes place in Jordan as well. Not sure if business or school hours make the shift, but I was told that socially speaking, people tend to sleep most of the day and go out for most of the night. I wonder how it is in other Muslim countries (anyone from Egypt or Pakistan??).

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Ramadan in Riyadh (RinR) - The Arrival
RinR - The Saudi Schedule Shift
RinR - Iftar Time
RinR - Tarawih prayers

All Praises and Thanks to Allah (swt), Who blessed us with a healthy baby daughter yesterday. Please pray that Allah (swt) guide her and make her amongst the righteous in this life and especially in the after-life.

With respect to the other details, I’ve decided to take Br. Tariq’s advice and be a man. Fatherhood is on the rebound starting with this father (smugly pointing to myself). So no more of the girly info on the baby’s weight and height and time of birth and all that feminine nonsense. This will be my new style of raising the kids. (h/t to Tariq for the vid clip)

Anyways, I just wanted to share some quick thoughts on having a baby in a Muslim country (both Maryam and Humza were born in the US).

First thing that really gave me a nice jolt was when we stepped into the delivery room. Next to the chair I found a book of wird (litanies) compiled by Sh. Ibn Uthaymeen written specifically for the time of childbirth. With various verses from the Quran, dua’as of the Prophet (saw), and different adhkar, it really provided me and my wife a most needed injection of dhikr-Allah with which to start the delivery.

Subhan’Allah!

Twelve hours later, when Ayah finally decided to bless us with her presence, I was so excited that I totally forgot the Sunnah of calling the Adhan in her right ear and Iqama in her left ear. It was only after they had taken her upstairs to the Neo-Natal ward that the OB doctor reminded me. And she’s not even a Muslim! Obviously she had witnessed this practice by all her prior patients that she knew I had forgotten.

Subhan’Allah!

When I got upstairs to see Ayah, they informed me that they were feeding her some form of glucose drink. And it immediately dawned on me that the Sunnah of our dear Prophet (saw) informed us 1400 years ago of this vital step immediately after the birth of the infant. Did not the Prophet (saw) teach us to gently rub tiny parts of a chewed date into the mouth of the newborn?

Subhan’Allah!

Finally, about 20 minutes after Ayah’s birth, in the room next door another lady was delivering. All I could hear was her shrieking ‘Bismillah’ louder and louder and louder with each push. Her screaming so loud that the entire floor could hear wasn't particularly noteworthy. Rather I found her specifically calling out the name of Allah (swt) at the time of childbirth to be immensely profound.

It truly gave me goosebumps to hear the power behind the remembrance of Allah (swt) and how a woman in the most weakest of states turns to Allah (swt) for support. And she wasn't merely yelling out 'Ya Allah!' as some may exclaim 'Oh God!' or 'Jesus!'. I felt she was yelling out 'Bismillah' so her child would enter this world by and with the name of its Creator and Sustainer.

It reminded me of the state of our dear mother Maryam (AS) when she was suffering the pangs of delivery all by her lonesome and how she most definitely sought assistance with the dhikr of Allah (swt).

"Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the succession of night and day, there are indeed messages for all who are endowed with insight, [and] who remember God when they stand, and when they sit, and when they lie down" (3:190-191)

Subhan’Allah!

Humza’s your typical seven year old boy. He’s got his good habits and his bad habits. One of his most annoying habits is his incessant calling upon his mother (and, lucky for me, only occasionally his father).

When he wants something, he’ll say Momma over and over and over and over, until he gets a response. This is a bad habit we’re trying to teach him out of – especially since he also does it in school with his teacher.

Anyways, when he does this to his mother, as you can imagine, it annoys the living daylights out of her (as well as me and anyone else in the vicinity). At first, she’ll quietly and politely tell him to wait. After a few more calls of ‘Momma, Momma’, she’ll raise her voice and ask him ‘Did I not ask you to wait?’ But rarely does he desist. Finally, my wife or I will either sternly reprimand him or (wrongly) give in and ask him what he wants.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Well, I was thinking today that Humza’s mother loves him more than she loves herself. Indeed such is the love of the mother towards the child. But irrespective of how much she loves him, his constant and continuous calling upon her - sometimes for the most trivial of things - becomes a serious nuisance.

How much then must Allah (swt) love His servant who is ceaselessly calling upon Him, day and night, ‘Ya Allah! Ya Allah!’, yet He never tires of hearing those calls?

Especially when you consider the forgetful, heedless, sinning servant has done nothing to deserve a response. He has done nothing to deserve an audience with the King.

Yet Allah (swt) loves to hear His servant's call.

It has been narrated that when the disbeliever calls upon Allah (swt) for something, He orders the angels to quickly fulfill the person’s needs. But when a believer calls upon Allah (swt), He tells the angels to wait.

When the angels express their confusion at this seemingly backwards state of affairs, Allah (swt) replies that when the disbeliever calls upon Me, I cannot stand to hear his voice calling My name, so I wish to quickly silence him.

However, when My beloved servant calls Me, I love to hear his petitioning Me, I love to hear his sincere prayer, I love to hear him express his need for Me and so I delay his request knowing the he will faithfully persist in calling upon Me.

The Prophet (saw) is reported to have said: “The love of God for His creatures is seventy times greater than that of a mother for her child”

Verily our dear Prophet (saw) has spoken the truth.

I haven't put up a Good News Post for quite some time, so I figured its time to cheer up my readers. Here's an uplifting music video from Native Deen from their new album, Not Afraid to Stand Alone (coming out soon):



There's another, more selfish, reason for posting the video.

It's not because one of the singing trio, Naeem Muhammad, is a good childhood friend of mine (he plays the football coach in the vid). Listen up sisters, he’s got only *one* wife. So there’s three lucky ladies out there just waiting to be snatched up. :-)

I’m also not posting it because his wife, Sahra, is one of my most loyal readers and commenters. Or at least she was, until that last paragraph. Hey sis, I was only kidding about the one wife joke. Right? heh (nervous laugh) heh...

I’m also not posting it because the young brother starring in the video, Tariq Jones, who plays the football star, is Naeem’s younger brother and one of the first ever members of the Muslim Kids Club. MKC was a youth group Sahra, Naeem, myself, and a few others started around 10 years ago.

Oh and Tariq’s not just a make-believe football player, he’s for real. And he’s nice.

The reason I’m posting it is because my wife’s younger brother is the *real* star of the video. Around the 2:28 mark, he’s the second football player coming off the bus, wearing number 81. You can see his face in the still-picture of the video above (right behind number 30).

Gosh (eyes tearing up), we’re all so proud of little Bilal. Sure his role is less than a millisecond, but it seems like a full second to us. He’s finally made it bigtime!

So be careful not to blink. You might miss a star being born.

I’ve been pondering whether to write one long post on celebrating Ramadan in Riyadh or a few scattered posts. I think I’ll go with the latter as there are so many things to write about.

Anyways, here’s the first installment of RinR – The Arrival.

Having been raised in America all my life, I had never before been exposed to Ramadan in a Muslim society. Ramadan had always been a quiet affair. My parents weren’t one to openly celebrate it so we never really ‘felt’ that it was a special time of year. And of course, nothing in American society ever reflected that the month of fasting had arrived.

But we sure knew when Christmas was coming. If the Xmas lights adorning half the neighborhood didn’t give it away, the annual Xmas cartoon specials surely did.

So you can imagine how refreshing it’s been to be in a Muslim environment come Ramadan. The first thing one notices is the build-up to Ramadan’s arrival.

Your heart skips a beat when you see the crews putting up the bright lights and various ornaments on the major streets of Riyadh (especially for me, coming from a Muslim community where they considered putting up lights to celebrate Eid an imitation of the Kuffar).

You feel giddy walking into the grocery store and seeing “Ramadan Sale” printed all over their flyers. The same grocery stores have also erected nicely decorated stands to sell Ramadan-specific foods.

Newspapers have begun running articles about Ramadan.

Restaurants have signs advertising that they’ll be open for Iftaar.

Another reminder that Ramadan is almost here - a week or so before Ramadan, you’ll start to see tents going up next to many of the Masjids. The tents are arranged by the local communities to house nightly dinners for anyone who wishes to break their fast. A gesture I find very reflective of the spirit of Ramadan taught to us by our Prophet (saw).

The buzz of Ramadan is in the air and it feels good.

Since moving to Riyadh, it’s the small things, such as the Ramadan ambiance that I’m really starting to appreciate. And it means so much more to see my children able to participate in this celebration and get excited about the arrival of Ramadan.

==========

Ramadan in Riyadh (RinR) - The Arrival
RinR - The Saudi Schedule Shift
RinR - Iftar Time
RinR - Tarawih prayers

Having attended Tarawih prayers the past few days, I’ve come across a very annoying situation. And I’m quite sure most of you have been equally disturbed with this occurrence. I’m talking about praying next to the brother whose burping out his biryani for all to smell or the sister who can’t hold down the ful she just ate for Iftaar (Ladies, don't deny this reality...you all have the same gastrointestinal anatomy like us men!).

This madness must come to an end!

And to alleviate us all from these gaseous brethren (and sistren...is that a word?), I’ve come up with a very convenient solution.

Let us create burping and non-burping sections in our masjids. Like the smoking and non-smoking sections, this will allow everyone to cohabitate peacefully.

Those of you who are notorious for your internal gastric implosions can comfortably pray in the burping sections (burp away to your delight!), while those of us who have been blessed with the gift of gastrointestinal fortitude can pray in the fresh air of the non-burping section.

Membership in these sections is not permanent by any means.

Let’s say you were invited to a Pakistani brother’s house whose wife loves to cook really oily and really spicy food (Yum!). Although you normally may pray in the non-burping section, tonight you’re stuck with the gastrically-challenged. You deserve it bro. Next time you’ll think twice before going back for seconds for the Chicken tikka masala.

Am I the only one thinking this??

As we embark on this month long journey of Ramadan, praying for the wondrous winds of the Most Merciful to propel our sails and rejuvenate us with the spiritual energy we’ve been sorely lacking all year long, I wish to share with you my simple advice.

Many others have provided us with a more comprehensive presentation of how we should approach this month so I will spare you the repetition.

I have just one critical piece of advice.

Please, please, please do NOT overeat.

Not when you wake up for Suhoor. Not when you sit to break your fast. Not when you come home from Tarawih prayers. Not ever.

You’ve tamed your carnal desires all day long. You’ve fought your physical inclinations and suppressed your nafs from dawn till dusk. You’ve finally taken control of your wild uncontrollable nafs, thrown on the saddle, and mounted it. After months of having your nafs ride you and control you and steer you and direct you*, you’ve finally set aright the natural order by forcing your nafs to obey its master.

By overeating, you’re giving your nafs a second chance. You’ve held it underwater all day with your fast, at the brink of its death, and then with the act of overeating, you’ve let it up so it can gasp for air.

By overeating, you’re like the villain who has caught the hero and right before he kills him, proceeds to prance around haughtily, revealing the details of his devious plot, giving the hero enough time to loosen the ropes around his hands, think up a scheme to foil the plot, and save the day.

Only your nafs is no hero. And it surely has no intentions to save the day.

By overeating, you are strengthening the nafs, empowering it. You are handing back control to your nafs.

By overeating, you will sleep more, you will talk more, and you will worship less.

So I beg you, don’t negate all your hard work by releasing this ravenous wretched beast to cause its mayhem. Keep it subjugated. Keep it controlled.

Eat moderately.
Talk moderately.
Sleep moderately.

Pray extensively.
Cry profusely.
Supplicate overzealously.
Prostrate endlessly.

Starve your nafs. Not from Fajr to Maghrib, but for one entire month.

*As Imam Ghazali mentioned in his Ihya, how odd would be the site of a rider carrying his horse. The rider is meant to be on top with the horse carrying him. Equally astonishing is the scene of the man who is controlled by his nafs. The nafs is riding him while it ought to be the other way around.

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And here’s a bonus word of advice for you kiddies who had the patience to read this far: keep your tongue busy with dhikr. Our beloved Prophet (saw) even told us which dhikr is most preferable:

“So increase during this month of four qualities: two with which you shall please your Lord, and two which you cannot do without. The two that shall please Allah are the repetition of La Illaha Ill Allah and Istighfaar (asking forgiveness), and the two qualities you cannot do without are asking Allah to be allowed into Paradise and taking refuge in Him from Hell” [Taken from the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam's) khutbah on the last day of Sha'baan]

So constantly say La Illaha Ill Allah and Astaghfir-Allah as well as Allahumma Inni Asaluka alJannah wa Ajirni min anNar (O Allah, I ask You to grant me Jannah and save me from the Hellfire).

I promised myself that I wouldn't write any political posts during this month of Ramadan, but technically Ramadan doesn't begin for another couple hours, so I'm still safe.

I wanted to bring your attention to my recent post on the spiraling US-Eritrea relations. The comments have gotten a bit passionate and are really worth reading, especially the noteworthy comments by Anonymous, who once worked for the US government as a representative in Ethiopia and Somalia, and Sahra, who is originally from Somalia.

However, I take umbrage to Anon's latest comment where he/she so easily hurls this oversimplified sandlot retort:

"Why is it that so many Somalis come to live in the US? If it is such a terrible Crusader country why come here, go elsewhere."

This reasoning is so tiring yet so common that I finally felt the need to address it.

The Muslim (as well as non-Muslim) immigrants who continue to make their way to the North by the millions every year are NOT, through their acts of migration, endorsing the West and its values. What they are laying claim to is their own human survival instincts.

Americans and the West do not realize the very real pain and suffering that prevails in so much of the South. The nations of the North have become so far removed from these harsh realities that they've convinced themselves, as they live in their insulated lap of luxury, that the indigent and destitute of the world cherish the social and moral values of their society.

They need to realize that people are NOT scrambling to get to America because of its liberties or its democracy or any of its other vaunted principles. The vast majority are simply trying to find a way to give their families a better life.

This is about pure economics.

They don't realize the lows to which a man will degrade himself in order to put food into his children's stomachs and a roof over their heads and clothes onto their backs and an education into their brains and maybe, just maybe, a chance at a better life.

Dignity and freedom and democracy take a back seat to survival and sustenance and hope.

The Mexicans who risk their lives for the chance to work the fields of Arizona or sweep the floors in California are not looking for a life under a democratic government. They are looking to send money home to their families.

The Pakistani MD who rejoices at his chance to come to the US to drive a taxi does not care about living a dignified life. He's lowering himself so as to give his children the chance that he never got.

To further my contention, look at the unfortunate souls who make their way year-in, year-out to the Gulf. There are no liberal democratic values championed by Saudi Arabia or the Emirates that the poor Afghani or Bengali come in search of. Their fateful trek to the Gulf is solely a survival tactic. They endure the abuse and adversity and ignore the human rights records and despotic regimes solely for that monthly salary.

The Africans who cross the Mediterranean into Spain and France or the Turks who enter Germany knowingly venture into those lands as second-class (or even third-class) citizens. They do so knowing that their future is in ghettoes and crime-ridden neighborhoods. They do so accepting their less-than-dignified life, not to vote or to express themselves or to breathe the air of freedom, but to survive.

To get away from the hell they once called home.

The values espoused by that society (be it America or Saudi Arabia) are completely irrelevant to their very real needs.

In their eyes, the US or the UK are the same as Bahrain or Kuwait. Lands of riches that give them – no, not them, but their families - hope for a better life.