Naeem's Blog

Organic Muslimah has a very simple, yet very powerful post on the sins we commit and the Love displayed by Allah (swt) in concealing those sins. I highly recommend you all to give it a quick read and then turn to Allah (swt) and thank Him for His Mercy in concealing our misdeeds, shortcomings, sins, and errors.

Her post reminded me of a powerful dua'a made by Sh. Zulfiqar Ahmed, the spirit of which I have incorporated into this dua:

"Ya Allah, on that Day when I will be standing before You with nothing but my deeds, I beg of You to show Mercy on my pitiful soul. I beg of You to forgive me for all my shortcomings and please Ya Allah, please do not take me to account for all that I have done.

I am truly embarrassed and ashamed.

But if You must take account of all my sins,
if You must expose me for the charlatan that I have been,
if You must reveal the despicable demons thriving in the depths of my soul,
if You must divulge the details of my horrid past in front of all mankind,

Then please Ya Allah, I beg of You not to do so in front of my beloved Muhammad (saw). Please conceal my hisaab (accounting of deeds) from him (saw).

Ya Allah, it would kill me to see the look of disappointment on his face,
to see how I've let him down,
to see him shaking his head in disbelief at the monstrosity of my mistakes,
to see him saddened by my heedlessness,
to see him embarrassed to have me counted as one of his Ummah.

Please do not let him be witness to the sins I have committed, the haram I have seen, the horrible words I have uttered, the deplorable places I have visited.

So when my hand and feet are made to testify against me and my heart is exposed for the blackened coal that it is and my nafs releases its stench for all to smell, I implore You please turn my Habib (saw) away so he is not witness to my ignominy.

And if through Your infinite Justice, You determine my fate to be in the Hellfire, please do not allow him to see me being dragged by my forelock, crying and screaming, and flung into the dark abyss.

For truly the look of disappointment in his eyes would burn me greater than any flame in the Hellfire.

While I realize that I cannot conceal my sins from You, I implore You, on that grave Day when Your beloved and mine is standing before us, please do not bare my disgraceful soul in the company of my dear Prophet Muhammad."