Having attended Tarawih prayers the past few days, I’ve come across a very annoying situation. And I’m quite sure most of you have been equally disturbed with this occurrence. I’m talking about praying next to the brother whose burping out his biryani for all to smell or the sister who can’t hold down the ful she just ate for Iftaar (Ladies, don't deny this reality...you all have the same gastrointestinal anatomy like us men!).
This madness must come to an end!
And to alleviate us all from these gaseous brethren (and sistren...is that a word?), I’ve come up with a very convenient solution.
Let us create burping and non-burping sections in our masjids. Like the smoking and non-smoking sections, this will allow everyone to cohabitate peacefully.
Those of you who are notorious for your internal gastric implosions can comfortably pray in the burping sections (burp away to your delight!), while those of us who have been blessed with the gift of gastrointestinal fortitude can pray in the fresh air of the non-burping section.
Membership in these sections is not permanent by any means.
Let’s say you were invited to a Pakistani brother’s house whose wife loves to cook really oily and really spicy food (Yum!). Although you normally may pray in the non-burping section, tonight you’re stuck with the gastrically-challenged. You deserve it bro. Next time you’ll think twice before going back for seconds for the Chicken tikka masala.
Am I the only one thinking this??
Just don’t call it genocide
1 week ago
12 comments:
Nope! Azhar Osman recently did a comedy sketch on this topic. I say there is nothing funny about it! Grrrrossssss! Those folks should be identified and given a life time supply of Pepto. Have mercy! In my opinion, even worse culprits are people who actually believe they don't have to brush their teeth during ramadhaan! Dear Allah!
AA Naeem...
I've heard other people complain about it... can't say I've ever experienced it though. Then again, I'm praying in a gymnasium... there is a lot of air. But I've never been able smell anyone's breath in salaat.
This is really serious, I was hoping you had a practical solution to this problem. Until then I'll pray next to little kids that can act as spacers between me and burping uncles.
AA-
@al - I actually like your idea about using the kids as spacers. And working off of Sahra's idea, maybe we can hand out Pepto at the Masjid doors. :-)
Seriously, the ONLY practical solution is for people to eat VERY little between Maghrib and Isha and then if they must, eat more after the Tarawih.
@Sahra - I totally agree about the brushing of the teeth. People don't realize that their breath only smells like musk to Allah (swt), not to their fellow man!! Such fickle thinking...God help us all!
@Amy - consider yourself lucky sis! Open gym or not, the problem is the person next to you. You could be praying in the Haram in Mecca and if they just can't hold down their garlic-filled shwarma, you're gonna smell it. :-(
The separate sections are a good idea only if people will be honest with themselves.
You know how humans are... who wants to be labeled as the garlic smelling breath, or the Smokey breath mixed with garlic breath brother.
No one! For that reason it will not work. No one wants to be honest with himself and go into the toxic room/section.
-F
lol...this is more common than i thought...i actually address this in a blog post inspired by Umar Lee's Islamic Utopia...however I did not post it due to the Mrs thinking it too vulgar...
however i might have to reassert my manhood and post away...
ok i manned up and posted it...
and nobody was around to html it up for me...
http://mrespy.blogspot.com/2007/09/islaamic-republic-of-utopia.html
This is very common problem, it's not isolated to a masjid or ramadan. Come on now, who hasn't smelt some funkyness in normal salat jamat any day of the week but more prevalent during jumaah. Brush those teeth and use some non-alcoholic mouth wash people! Floss too, burping cannot be helped for the most part. Naeem..come on taraweeh can end at 1130pm and some people dont get home til midnight and then u want us to "pig" out...that would go against the principles you outlined last month about exercising and good eating habits!
AA- Arif,
Now I didn't say go home and pig out. The most practical and considerate solution to this annoyance is for people to hold off on their real dinner until after tarawih.
Hey, you fasted all day long... you can survive on some soup or dates or a light sandwich until after isha, no?
But the biryani will be cold if you wait!!!
Or the women... and the children... they'll get it! And the visitors will all take their leftovers and there won't be any left!!
So they have to eat it all.
I was taught table etiquette at an early age. It is possible, I think, to be very discrete, I think women tend to be, more so... but maybe all that gaseous omission is an attempt by some brothers to display their manliness, eh?
I have yet to have a problem with someone's stink beside me this Ramadan in taraweeh. :-)
"but maybe all that gaseous omission is an attempt by some brothers to display their manliness, eh? "
Blowing your nose onto the floor is manliness...blowing your gas into a strangers face is a bit too intimate if you ask me...
I have two solutions,
1 -> when burping, do not release the gas but hold it in your mouth and inhale with a lot of air, this help dissipate the nastiness.
2 -> Bring VICKS vapor rub and rub away the very pores of you noses and under your eyes, this will prevent the stench of death and also prevent facial burns inlcuding burning your eye brows of with the nasty stench of death...
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