Naeem's Blog

The new moon wasn’t sighted here in Saudi tonight so Ramadan is starting on Thursday. Ramadan Mubarak everyone!

I don’t get it, what’s all this nonsense about some annual moonsighting controversy? Everyone simply has to fall in line with Saudi Arabia and we’ll all live happily ever after, right?

Listen people, Saudi is the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques *and* of Nawaz Sharif. That ain’t no joke!

I mean really, who else you gonna follow? Pakistan? What do they have to offer besides a nuclear bomb and a sucky cricket team?

Or maybe we can all unite under the banner of Malaysia with their world’s highest mosque located in the Petronas Towers (actually would provide a nice view of the crescent). Naah. They’ve got a major highway named after a US telecommunications company (talk about corporate sponsorship gone wild!) and that volleyball game they play with their feet just freaks me out.

You think Turkey with their blasphemous ambitions to join the kaffir EU is worthy to be the official moonsighter of the Muslim Ummah? Besides, I’ve always had my doubts about their national drink, Boza. (whispering) Between me and you, methinks its been fermented a tad bit too long to still be considered Halal (end whispering). Now that I think about it, I was a bit lightheaded and flirty after I had a full glass during my visit to Istanbul. But they do get bonus points for Pocket Hercules, whose first name I absolutely love.

How about Iran? Well I must say that I’m impressed with a country whose leader has his own blog (last December the dude wished a Merry Christmas to everyone!) and has created its own national Encyclopedia Iranica (what an ironica name (get it? Iranica ..ironica ..the name is ironic ... when compared to Britannica ...oh forget it)) to counter the imperial influences of Britannica. However, any nation that makes such great kabobs and then serves them with plain white rice (adding a bit of saffron doesn’t change anything) has lost all credibility. Where’s the curry people? Would it kill you to add a little bit of sauce?

Or maybe Egypt with its national dish, ful medames. Need I say more?

So its an open and shut case. No other Muslim country has anything noteworthy to offer to this moonsighting discussion besides Saudi Arabia.

So stick with Saudi Arabia for the beginning of Ramadan. Or ISNA. I hear their annual conference is ballin’.