No, not the freedoms. And, not the democracy either. I can live without all that, thank you very much.
What I miss most about living in the US is the Muslim community. Alot.
The tight-knit community that revolved around the local Masjid is simply not to be seen anywhere in Saudi Arabia. 7 years running and Riyadh has nothing remotely close to the feeling of brotherhood I felt in Baltimore.
The reasons are pretty obvious.
Muslims over here aren’t operating as a minority under attack and thus find no need to go the extra mile to build a community. On the other hand, Muslims in the West naturally gravitate towards the masjid in order to feel more at home with others who share their worldview. This inevitably leads to social activities and the like.
Also, the fact that masajid are located at every corner of Riyadh dilutes the concept of the masjid serving as the social center of the community. Masajid here serve only one purpose – prayer. In America, they fulfill multiple objectives – spiritual, social, political, and educational.
Whereas in Baltimore, I would regularly see my friends at the masjid every other night or so (and at worst, every week at Juma’a), here in Riyadh, months can go by before I see a brother who lives merely a few miles away, simply because he attends a masjid walking distance from his home. There’s no two-birds-with-one-stone approach of going to pray and also seeing the brothers. If I want to see anybody, I have to organize a separate social activity, which is simply too time consuming.
But most of all, I miss the volunteering aspect of the Muslim community in America.
I miss shoveling snow off the Masjid sidewalk.
I miss cleaning the bathrooms.
I miss serving food at community dinners.
I miss teaching at the Sunday School.
I miss cleaning up after Iftar dinners.
I miss working with the youth groups.
I miss rolling out the carpets for Juma’a.
I miss selling tickets for fundraising dinners.
I miss collecting donations.
I miss organizing car parking arrangements for Eid.
I miss the high of carrying out said parking plan to perfection.
I miss the exhaustion felt after executing a successful summer festival.
I miss selling balloons after the Eid prayer.
I miss mowing the lawn of the Masjid.
I miss calling up parents to remind them of the next Muslim Kids Club trip.
I miss all the sweat and blood that went into building a thriving Muslim community.
And I am pained at the thought of not exposing my own children to these most beautiful opportunities to serve their Lord. If ever there were a reason for me to go back to the US, the Muslim community and all that it offers would be it.
WAW
3 days ago
18 comments:
Salaam 'alaikum.
Well, if you feel the need to clean a bathroom or two, I'm sure our maid will gladly let you take over for her. ;)
But seriously, are there not things at the walking distance-masjid you can volunteer to do? The rolling out of the extra rugs or tarps before and after jumu'ah? Helping out with the cooking or cleaning of kitchen utensils during Ramadan? Cleaning up their bathrooms? Or are these all official "jobs?"
I do feel the sense of community here in S'pore, even though we are several hundred thousand strong with 60-odd masajid around the island (and not under attack by non-Muslims). Part of it may be the minority position in society; it may be the fact that the community has its own languages and traditions that are distinct from the majority culture (Chinese); it may simply be that people are friendlier here. Families with few friends don't invite 2,000 people to the wedding receptions, which is the norm here.
Brother naeem, where we live in egypt, in this very popular-with-muslim-foreigners compound which has all what u need(no need to go outside realy), i think you would be able to find this kind of stuff to some degree..
my hubby goes to prayer and does see other brothers - foreigners etc.
the kids are playing outside, my son sees his freinds from school at the masjid. how cool is that?
if u help out at the school, my son goes to a private high end azhari school (which for this school means a really nice american cirriculum for english).. u can do some of this stuff. and its not super expensive.
my son is gona be part of a play at the end of the school year. i doubt minarat (in riyadh) offers normal stuff like that. for years, since my own cousins went there ages ago, i have not heard of many choices of good islamic schools
in riyadh.
our kids see me giving rides to ppl who need it.
my son sees us giving charity.
egypt does have more bad than saudi (guys/girls holding hands, women not dressed properly) but if u pick a good place to live and if yur work is close by, which is our situation, u do give them more of the good wholesome stuff. saudi is a bit too closed in some aspects.
there's alot more opprotunity here. workshops/social things.
i have heard though foriengers complaining about how egypt doesnt have enough products as dubai *eye roll*.
So anyway, i recommend u try out egypt. there's TONS of practicing foreigners here. BETTER SCHOOLING.
i know i digressed from yur post. and coming here we thought that too that we'd miss the muslim community, but after a year and a half, honestly i dont think we do.
i visit sisters here .. i drive here..its super safe here.
i bet yur wife would be much happier here.
i honestly look back and feel sad for a ton of the ppl living in the US.
they all talk about how hard it is to raise kids and do everything at home. i'm sure as u know these things are much easier overseas with hired help, deliveries from pharmacies/grocery stores.
they talk about dawah while most of their kids end up going to public schooling....what kinda dawah are we talking if we cant even save our own kids..
anyway sorry to get into this long rant. but thought id leave my two cents here.
I agree. Its one of those things that is just there, sometimes even annoying, but if you lost access to being able to do these things than I would also miss it.
Hopefully you find enjoyment in other service activities and the other positive aspects of the communities there allow you to put aside our amazing communities. :)
-Faique
AA-
@JD, "But seriously, are there not things at the walking distance-masjid you can volunteer to do?"
Yes, I could volunteer in many different venues (masjid, dawah center, orphanage, etc.) But I guess I wasn't clear enough in my post - it's not solely about the volunteering. It's about volunteering *within the context of building a Muslim community*.
That type of Muslim community just doesn't exist here. And I'm not sure it exists in the same way in S'pore either. Care to explain what sense of community you feel over there?
@Umm BudiMary, I really appreciate your comments. And I see where the community life in Egypt is way better than Riyadh, but how does it compare to the states? I miss that sense of belonging and moreso, the *ownership* of the community. Whereas, here in Riyadh, I have always felt like a visitor, back in Baltimore I was part and parcel of the community.
Is it the same in Egypt?
well its like this...
for instance, my son's school is relatively new. its like their second year. i've 'tried' to volunteer there. thats the key word. i often give ideas and suggetsions and mash'allah they are very open to things. so something simple i suggested was to have the kindergarteners take home plants to care for. they did that asap. so at some level, i do feel part of this new school. most parnets seem alike in their religious commitment and economic level and ur kids make freinds w/ others like themselves.
on the other hand, where my husband works, there's also foriengers as well(americans plus some egyptians who have stayed abroad/practicing etc.) and so i think to a great degree him taking part in things there fills up that need to belong.
thirdly, there's the foriegners who are settled here, or who are here temporarily to study islam/arabic, plus the influx of students from uk/usa to study arabic/islam.
plus egyptian society is very welcoming to foriengers and there's foriegners here who've been living here forever. so u can sort of come to feel like u are part of egypt.
i often for instance start getting a little agitated when some foreigners just wont stop complaining about egypt. cuz i feel like i have gotten the good side of egypt and have benefited.
so while there is bad(poverty unreligousness etc.) there is also much good.
u just have to be able to see a little more than the potholes on the raods.
honestly i was so super involved in this whole comunity building thing back home in the US, but now if i ever even consider/think of taking my children to the US, i get goosebumps and i literaly get scared cuz deen wise, i think they are in a MUCH SUPERIOR environment.
ther'es one thing about saudi no one can beat though..mecca and medina!
Ya Naeem,
I feel you man... I have similar feelings of "something's missing in my life". There are masajid all around you, but hardly a single community. All your friends pray, but few that actually care for it. More ritual than heartfelt.
I am only left with blogging about Muslims in the West... the only thing that keeps me "in touch". It's tough to suddenly break away from the constant calls for volunteerism, from the conferences that I was helping organize or participate in, from the day to day challenges of helping run a Masjid. It's tough when everyone around you is Muslim, so you no longer are part of a niche community.
It is also interesting what you mentioned about the meetups at the Masjid... every night, after Isha', esp. when the weather was good, groups would hang out and chit-chat, or even go fetch some coffee at Dunkin... That has never happened here. It's just different.
I do miss America... and yes, even some of the politics :)
Reminds me of a poem by Coleridge ("The Ancient Mariner")
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.
Truth be told I never liked Saudi Arabia on my visit there. I just liked being around the Holy Places but otherwise even being a Muslim country it was too foreign of a place for me and especially didn't appreciate the guards at the Haram barking at the desi women yelling "purdah karo purdah karo". Here you will not find that type of rudeness at your local masjid!
AA-
@MK, I would advise you to take advantage of all opportunities to volunteer at your local masjid. It will provide a strong foundation for you, on which you will be able to build the rest of your life.
@Umm, "honestly i was so super involved in this whole comunity building thing back home in the US"
You see, this is what I just don't get. You seem to have a similar background as myself and so you have experienced everything I wrote in my post. But for some reason, I'm just not able to envision a similar experience in Egypt....I guess I just need to visit Egypt and see it with my own eyes. :-)
@Amad, yup, you know *exactly* how I feel. My greatest dilemma is if *that* feeling of community and belonging is worth going back to the US. My heart says yes, my brain and all other organs say no. :-)
@Haleem, true, there are many faults here in Saudi, but my post specifically about the lack of community, is not restricted to KSA. From my visits to Pakistan, it exists there as well. Muslims in the Muslim world simply aren't a 'niche community' (Amad's words)like in the West, and so don't have to go the extra mile in creating a community.
As Salaamu Alaikum:
I guess everything has a yin and a yang to it. Advantages about being here in the US, advantages of being in a Muslim-populated country.
Maybe some of it is because you're not a Saudi. They probably socialize with each other a lot and have no need for that from the masjid. Even in my community, the "foreigners" are always have social functions in their homes to which they rarely invite us Americans to. We usually see them in the masjid only.
I can relate. When I visited the UAE I hardly remembered that I was in a Muslim country. The mosque was a lively vibrant place, even in Ramadan. It was just a place to do the ritual needful.
When I compared Dubai to Toronto in my recent posts, I did say in many ways it was more fun to be Muslim here than back in Dubai, especially because you can say what you want (freedom of speech). This allows all sorts of speakers and thinkers here.
So I wouldn't rule out freedom as a big factor.
Correction.
"The mosque was a lively vibrant place, even in Ramadan. It was just a place to do the ritual needful."
should have been
The mosques (in UAE) was not a lively vibrant place, even in Ramadan. It was just a place to do the ritual needful.
Don't forget all the special events and lectures we would regularly have in the West! My friend just attended this really wonderful lecture in NY about Islamic history in Africa, Asia and the Americas sponsored by Al-Maghrib. I too found life to be considerably different for Muslims between Muslim countries and the West after having moved to Jeddah from NY a few years ago. I feel like more Muslims who wish to be more active here in a Muslim country, they would need to start up their own activities at home (halaqahs, classes, playgroups, home schooling, etc). I know of many Western Muslims who have started up informal groups here in Jeddah in order to organize special events and activities here (like sports events, picnics, visits to the few galleries and museums here). For expats this is especially important since we have no family here. From the few native Muslims I know here I think they have their own activities and social events to keep them occupied as well as families to keep them company. I'm sure for Muslims who move to the West from a Muslim country, they often feel out of place there too initially. I'm thinking of all my first generation immigrant family members here. I remember my parents and their friends organizing Bengali social events and gatherings in America and trying to maintain contact with each other since they didn't have any family there. They would also organize Milads and Eid parties together and sometimes attend the local Bengali Masjid to attend lectures given by Bengali imams. The expat/immigrant experience is strikingly similar wherever in the world you go to I think!
It's an important point - these halaqas an knowledge seminars in the West. I feel it's almost absent in the East. Most of the stuff is in Arabic which no one understands (most of the people living in UAE were non Arabs). And all the Arabic mullahs say the same thing (parroting the "official" government line).
The Western expats who start their own halaqas in their homes in Saudi are probably unaware that it's illegal to do so.
@ mezba
Oh wow that's scary that it's illegal! An unpleasant reminder of the level of blatant oppression you feel here very often (I'm sure it's getting harder for Muslims in the West to live there too but the oppression isn't as blatant there...yet).
BismiLlah...
as-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatuLlah...
In Saudi Arabia you can benefit from the many private majalis of the habaib who migrated there, especially in Makkah, Madina and Jeddah. Sidi Na`im, may Allah reward you for this blog -- it is one of my favourites -- what type of majalis do they have where you are?
Keep me in your duas,
was-salam
AA- Seeker,
Yeah, I know of and have visited many Habaib gatherings in Madina and Jeddah. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find anything similar here in Riyadh.
"I miss cleaning the bathrooms."
If you lend this much of yourself to house work, you definitely deserve Greatest Husband title.
Assalamualaykum,
I *completely* understand what you are feeling. I moved from London to NY and then to Jordan and in both instances, it was the sense of community and belonging that I missed the most.
Yeah, in Jordan we're in a Muslim country, surrounded by Muslims and in that sense it's comfortable but other than that...
I mean i was really looking forward to spending ramadhan and eid in a Muslim environment there but i was really dissapointed. The excitement of ramadhan and eid, going to the mosque for taraweeh with neighbours, visiting them on eid, it just wasn't there, it didn't feel like it was Eid! I really missed home.
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