This recent post by Sister RadiantLight got me thinking about Islamic Polygamy and how its being treated by our current generation as if it’s the second coming of the plague.
Back when my wife used to teach a class of young girls at the local masjid, I would advise her to address the topic of polygyny in a positive, receptive manner, with the intent of freeing the girls from all the negativity often associated with it. Unfortunately, the complexities behind this phenomenon that has afflicted the mindset of modern-day Muslims cannot be fully confronted in a weekend classroom.
There are too many forces that are painting this horrifying picture of Islamic polygyny as some abhorrent behavior, only practiced by the most barbaric of men and most naïve of women.
Now I clearly don't see polygyny as the normative mode of marriage, but I also believe that it shouldn't be viewed as some horrible anomaly. It should be embraced as a healthy alternative to nonstandard circumstances.
Too many young women are being raised with the belief that being in a polygynous relationship is socially unacceptable. They are being taught that only the most desperate and most abused are ever partner to such a relationship. They are being told that these are the misguided ways of misogynistic men.
We need to break this ugly trend and begin to teach our daughters and sisters that a family with one husband and two wives can be as healthy and functional as any monogamous relationship. We need to teach the women that it is a completely acceptable situation.
And more importantly, the teaching needs to be done to the men as well. They need to be taught that marrying a second wife is not to be taken lightly, based solely on one's sexual desires or born out of apathy towards the first wife. They need to be taught the Prophetic way of marrying more than one wife and more importantly, the staunch warnings against treating them unjustly.
They need to be taught that in some circumstances, it would be irresponsible for them NOT to marry a second wife. Unfortunately, there are men who would be prime candidates for having more than one wife (proper religious understanding, upright character, financially sound, etc.), but have resigned themselves to one wife, for one reason or another.
And what's even more unfortunate is that men who are absolutely *unqualified* to ever get married to even one woman are the ones marrying two or three at a time.
My point is I find it very troubling that there are so many women out there, struggling to find a husband, that simply would never entertain the thought of entering a polygynous marriage, regardless of the upstanding character of the man and the accepting nature of the first wife.
And if ever a woman is willing to consider such a situation, the parents would never allow for it, citing social pressures and the like.
That's just too bad.
That mindset needs to change.
WAW
2 days ago
24 comments:
I recall my father telling me of meeting some christian men here in the midwest who had married multiple wives, and the women being perfectly ok with it (no they were not mormons either). I also recall a moment in a sociology course that I took where the feminist professor started howling about polygyny and its "backwardness" etc. When I raised my hand to respond, an individual spoke out against her (in his words) "propoganda". I recall his rant that went something like this: 'Who are you to force -your- picture of the world on others? Have you ever thought to take off your -childish lenses- and see the world through someone elses' eyes? ... Certainly some women obviously find 'something' of benefit in polygynous relationships and have no qualms in dealing with it. ... ( I do believe his last words had to do with 'egocentrism')."
Yes, the professor was speechless. Needless to say the guy was an ultra-liberatarian who also would have qualms with a theocracy and the likes, but anyhow...
I definitely agree that just as the "West" spews its anti-polygynous propoganda, we - as Muslims - should spread our pro-polygynous propoganda through excellent examples of success!
Wonderful post bro!
Unfortunately, there are men who would be prime candidates for having more than one wife (proper religious understanding, upright character, financially sound, etc.), but have resigned themselves to one wife, for one reason or another.
BrNaeem, which category do you fall into?
May Allah make it easy for all those who entered into polygyny for His sake and are going through hardships due to the backwardness and immaturity of the Muslim community they live in.
May Allah make it easy for all those who entered into polygyny for His sake and are going through hardships due to the backwardness and immaturity of the Muslim community they live in.
AMEEEEEEEEN!
"Unfortunately, there are men who would be prime candidates for having more than one wife (proper religious understanding, upright character, financially sound, etc.), but have resigned themselves to one wife, for one reason or another"
hmm...I think that quote says to me is that if yur decent and can aford another, then yur somehow wrong to 'resign' yourself to one wife. I'm not a total anti-polygamist(just been reading too many crazy polygamy wife sad tails but thats another story..) however I must point out that the Prophet saw was also monogamous for a large portion of his life.
So. yeh. like um some guys just don't want to deal w/ the headache of two families. My hubby for instance thinks its not all love and roses..i mean its responsibility. If someone is up to it, may Allah make them successful.
The other thing is that..keep in mind..Allah says in the Quran..that if YOU FEAR..then marry only one.
SO..the point is that while your post has good points, DON'T make it out that being monogamous is somehow all limiting and what not.
Because even among men, there is a difference. Some men are cool w/ one wife, for various reasons. One may be that this is what they GREW up with, and it'd be just too much to handle or just too weird of a lifestyle to live for them. anyway bla bla :-)
but yeh let's not be against polygamy completely. im sure there's people out there doing it right. HOWEVER, the fact that so many men APPARENTLY use it as a license for whatever they want to do and basicaly wrong women and children is what IRKS me pretty badly.
I mean who would have a problem with polygamy if men were all nice and fair and just. I bet women would be tryna get into polygamous situations, espeically if they were older. But uh..there's no rush to do that in this time and age from what i know. Obivously it does have somethign to do with feminism and waht not, but it also has aLOT i think to do w/ the mentality of the type of men who practice it and their actions.
Most men who practice it nowadays it seems are loonies, idiots, have their priorities all wrong, don't give fair time or resources. I don't know WHAT these people are thinking by doing such harm to their families and themselves..but hey ... what do i know. im just a female :-)
AA-
@Abu Layth, Thanks for sharing that nugget. I agree, there is an element of cultural arrogance/ignorance when it comes to this topic.
@SP, "BrNaeem, which category do you fall into?"
I would fall into the category of those who are happy with one wife, with my hands so very full. Like the Anon comment above, I'm cool with what I got.
And your nice dua'a is very much needed in these times.
@Anon, thank you for your thoughts.
"hmm...I think that quote says to me is that if yur decent and can aford another, then yur somehow wrong to 'resign' yourself to one wife."
Sorry for that impression. I should have added the caveat 'if a situation arises where polygyny becomes a societal/personal necessity'.
I did state, and so I agree with your stance, that monogamy is the norm.
"So. yeh. like um some guys just don't want to deal w/ the headache of two families. My hubby for instance thinks its not all love and roses..i mean its responsibility. If someone is up to it, may Allah make them successful."
My thoughts exactly. But its that last sentiment that is so lacking in so many Muslim communities. 'If someone is up to it, may Allah make them successful.' How I wish everyone took such a supportive stance!
"Most men who practice it nowadays it seems are loonies, idiots, have their priorities all wrong, don't give fair time or resources. I don't know WHAT these people are thinking by doing such harm to their families and themselves..but hey ... what do i know. im just a female :-)"
I agree and I wish more of us would educate them and even persuade them against taking on more wives, while also educating the rest of the community that polygyny is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Again, thanks for your viewpoint!
well brother naeem...ok lets get real :-) for the brother sure its nothing to be embarassed about.
but tell me, if tomorrow you decided to take another wife, how would your wife FEEL? proud? happy? excited?
or would she feel embarassed and EXTREMELY hurt that perhaps she is lacking something? who would be proud telling their mom 'guess what mom. my hubby is taking on another wife! yay'
The best of women (the rasul's wives) felt jealous so who are we right. I mean these feelings are going to be felt by the woman period.
i know of a brother..ustadh bilal philips..who has i think 4 wives. and one of them from what i heard was a single young sister and she wanted to accept the brother's proposal. anyway in this situation, somehow it seems the brother is a bit more interested in just having multiple halal girlfreinds. his wives seem to be knowledgeable, helping out in dawah, writing books w/ him etc.
i mean to me it seems like this guy is about something different than these loonies who go around wanting fifty women but don't wana support the kids that they produce w/ these women.
ofcourse i dont have any one point to make :-) i guess its kinda like im fine w/ polygamy if its practiced properly. in fact, at one time, i was proposed to by a sheikh who wanted to take a second wife. and i really thought hard about it because at the time i felt like man im not gona find anyone(and i was like 22/23 lol). and then i thought u know if i was like 35 and stuff, and feeling like that was the best deal i was going to get, perhaps i'd take it and i felt like polygamy was very much a system designed to protect women..
but then i met my hubby, who was a pretty one-woman guy. and for me like so many other women...i couldnt STAND the thought of him marrying another. i think i'd either leave him because of the height of my jealousy or someone would be harmed. i think the first option is better eh. sure i could physicaly live it but emotionaly, i think our marital life would pretty much come to a dead-end. i know cuz i can hold grudges. unfortunate :-/
is this a result of the way i grew up. im sure it is. but u know what, HIS own family would probably FREAK out and his mom would be on my side if he took another wife lol. she's probably whack him upside the head. ofcourse thats how they were raised im sure.
He has an uncle who didnt apparently have such a lovey dovey life w/ his wife and has no kids with her either. and never divorced her. this is what normally happens when you belong to a family where accountability and honor has a part to play in the dynamics of real life. u dont divorce and marry on whim like what i hear happens in some african american muslim communities for instance.
i have one uncle whose wife actualy comes from a family where her father practiced polygamy. from what i hear, he was super duper rich and supported two whole families. that in my eyes is honorable. but obviously it takes a real man to do this, resources and all.
but take a guy whose making 60k which is say enough for his young family and tomorrow he decides..well i can support two wives and there goes his salary..split into two. im SURE his wife is gona have issues now having to live off of 30k!
by the way im a pakistani married to an arab so i can relate to some things you mention about interratial marriage heh.
the first anon
Salaam Naeem,
Oooh! You so know how I feel about polygamy but yes it works for some women and men so whay not for them?! I wouldn't really try and justify for it, though but that is only because I personally don't find much benefit in it for women of today.
Suroor..it is hard to deny that for a women who is say 40 and sick and tired of working day and night, has no man in her life, would rather prefer a decent guy who is fair and just and takes him as a second wife.
i've talked to a sister like that...they're sick of supporting themselves..being on their own.
the problem is that there is no benefit in it for women who marry desperately .. cuz most of the time apparently they end marrying two-timing jerks who are disguised as 'super practicing muslims'.
there's this other woman who i met who is like 40..good looking..her brothers etc never helped her to get married according to her and so now..she's 40. what are her chances ? u can't deny that if she were to get into a polygamous marriage, she'd be better off than how she seemed now...lonely and wishing she'd gotten married.
as for what benefit there is in this whole polygamy busines for FIRST WIVES...thats another issue :-)
some of you may be surprised to know..i have a friend...college educated, outgoing girl...she works..not married too long..her husband waiting a few years to marry her..very practicing..and she said to me that she sees so much benefit in polygamy and that she's always telling her husband to do it. we couldnt continue the conversation..but i told her man we gota continue this conversation. cuz im very curious to know what benefits she sees.
some women are more the type to be into the guy all the time. some women aren't. some women may be ok with having their 'space'. yup.
the first anon
AA- Anon,
Thanks for your thoughts, eventhough your *just* a female. ;-)
"but tell me, if tomorrow you decided to take another wife, how would your wife FEEL? proud? happy? excited? or would she feel embarassed and EXTREMELY hurt that perhaps she is lacking something?"
I get your point and its that sentiment and pain that I was addressing in my post. I believe that it can be avoided - by education.
For now, I'm of the belief that this negativity towards multiple marriages is nurtured in society and not born out of human nature. That is key in understanding the antagonism towards Islamic polgyny.
For example, there are many cultures across the globe where polygyny is an accepted way of life. Of course there are tensions and difficulties (as seen in the lives of our respected mothers, the wives of the Prophet (saw)), but there isn't a comprehensive rejection of the practice as seen in modern Muslim society.
And I believe that is due to the western presentation of a 'normal' marriage.
And as I mentioned in my post, this mindset not only afflicts the women, but also the men.
'by the way im a pakistani married to an arab so i can relate to some things you mention about interratial marriage'
Welcome to the jungle, sis. :-)
Asalaamu alaikum.
Benefits for the wives:
1) A break from the husband; some free time to oneself, some independence, not having to be "on" all the time, etc.
2) For a woman who cannot have children, the opportunity to enjoy the children of the other wife without the full-time responsibility
3) For the woman with children, a friend and sister who helps with them and gives her a break for herself sometimes
4) Sometimes, in a really good situation, knowing you have one really good special sister-friend who is very truly like a sister
5) Freedom to be who you are and pursue your natural dreams because with a co-wife, you may balance each other; i.e. where one is great at this or that, the other is good at other things and so the husband has it all but neither wife feels stifled and forced to do things she doesn't enjoy. For example, I once considered a marriage where the first wife had several children and wanted to be a stay-at-home wife & mother, but the husband also needed a supportive wife for his community organizing and dawah, which I could provide because I am more outgoing and only had one child. In this way, neither wife feels like she is lacking but can feel free to pursue what comes natural to her knowing the other wife has the other things covered.
AA- Aaminah,
Thank you for your thoughts.
"Benefits for the wives:"
But surely we must concede that such a rosy picture of polygyny is not applicable to most situations, no?
If it were simply as you presented it, no sane woman would prefer to stay in a monogamous relationship - in fact, they would be running to get their best friend married to their husband.
But the reality is that humans *prefer* the one-to-one marriage over the polygynous one.
My point was simply that when the time comes for such an anomalous situation, both men and women need to be ready to accept it.
Not sure if you and I are simply talking past each other. :-)
I know I'm all late on this posting but I wanted to tell "first anon" to her her comment "u dont divorce and marry on whim like what i hear happens in some african american muslim communities for instance" that, as an African American, that is an extremely uncalled for statement. I would appreciate some sensitivity amongst ourselves and not perpetuating stereotypes. I'm sure that absolutely no one or hardly anyone EXCEPT African American Muslims marry and divorce on a whim. For the love of Allah, that just SOUNDS ridiculous. I beg Allah swt to help nonblack Muslims to stop seeing us as a bunch of newby, backseat Muslims, ameen!
~sahra
AA- Sahra,
I'm all for avoiding sweeping generalizations, so I agree that we shouldn't feed stereotypes of any single community.
But lets be real sis – there is definitely a problem in the black American Muslim community when it comes to marriage. While I don't agree that they 'divorce and marry on whim' as the Anon sister put it, but I agree with the crux of what she was trying to say – the same thing that Tariq Nelson said here:
"It is not strange in some cities with large numbers of Black American converts to find a brother that has been married over 10 times by the age of 30! Sometimes, you will even find brothers that have been married 18-19 times. Many reading this know that this is NOT exaggeration, Allahul Musta’an."
I remember back in the day, a bunch of us (including your husband) would lament at the sad state of marriages in the Baltimore inner-city community – how it seemed that every brother had once been married to every sister.
Sadly the reality is actually closer to Anon's representation than your defensive posturing.
Now, is that the only community plagued by divorce and marital abuse? Of course not, but there surely did exist a wide gap in the divorce rates of the indigenous Muslim community and the immigrants of the 70's and 80's. Not making any value judgments, just pure numbers.
"I beg Allah swt to help nonblack Muslims to stop seeing us as a bunch of newby, backseat Muslims, ameen!"
C'mon sis, please stop playing the victimization card – you're better than that!
Asalaamu alaikum.
Yes, we are talking past each other apparently. I was answering to a commentor who asked why any woman should even consider polygyny. It's true that a lot of bad practicioners make it sound like it benefits men but there is no benefit to women. And sorry, but as an independent woman I don't consider it a benefit that it allows me to be married at all (as if I don't have the right to a monogamous husband because of my previous divorces or because I can't have children, etc.). So I wanted to point out that there are very real benefits to women as well.
The key is that it is done well. It is NOT for everyone. And brothers and sisters should feel free to say it's not something they think they can be fair about or live with if that's really how they feel. But to just toss it aside as an evil thing that shouldn't even be an option isn't right either. For some couples, it can be the best situation, for many others it creates the worst situation.
Naeem, if you want to be real, then lets face the fact that Indians, Pakistanis, and other nonblack Muslims are always looking down at us and we are tired of it! Are all of them racist? Of course not! Is it a problem for the majority of them? WHY, YES IT IS.
~Sahra
I wanted to respond to what Aaminah said...
I am 24, I've never been married, I have no children, I'm not infertile (to my knowledge) or handicapped. And I am willing to marry into polygyny. And for my own part, I do think that being in a polygynous marriage is WAAAAY better than not being married. I don't feel like I'm settling for less or getting the short end of the stick if I marry a polygynous husband. I don't think that it means I deserve less from my husband, or that I will get less from him. In fact, I'm sure that the blessings far outweigh the challenges. And I consider myself an independent woman, too. :-)
-amy
Asalaamu alaikum Amy,
Thanks for that. See, I kind of got this attitude from others that I "had" to accept polygyny because I "used" or "damaged" goods and no one will marry me otherwise. I think that is pretty crappy and offensive. I don't mind being single either so I'm not going to jump into any marriage whether it's polygynous or not unless I think it is good for me.
BUT, you know what? As an independent woman, I LIKE a polygynous relationship because it grants me a great deal of freedom that I might not have in a non-polygynous relationship. I love to take care of my husband, but I also like not having to cook elaborate meals every day. I like not having to ask permission to fast because he isn't going to be around anyway. I like having time to myself, to be able to spend a whole day working on my novel without interruptions or demands put upon me. I like being able to have a friend over or go out with sisters without worrying about the time and my other responsibilities. I like that when I have a hard day at work (I'm on the phone all day), I can come home and don't have to speak to anyone, don't have to entertain or be there for someone else but can totally just relax for a bit.
I see alot of benefit to women (yes, even young women who are perfectly healthy) when the relationship is done in the respectful and correct Islamic fashion.
You are such a shock blogger, the howard stern of islamic bloggers, keep it up! :)
your reading audience has grown from 5 to 10, repost or update your sexual education post i say!
Wa alaikum as-salaam Aaminah;
I agree that saying a woman is "used" or "damaged" is offensive, and suggesting that she for one reason or another is too deficient to be able to find (and even deserve!) a monogamous husband is crappy, lame, generally rude, obnoxious, etc. :-)
as Salamu 'alaykum
I don't blame women who are against polygany in our time. Men can barely handle one wife, their children with that wife, their responsibilities, and then they think they can handle a second?
Any man that is willing to endanger his first marriage for a second wife, for his own selfish nafs, is a selfish idiot.
I don't think that I gain anything from promoting a practice that isn't recommended for everyone, that is haram for many, and that destroys many current families. The nafs is a shaytan in and of itself. Why would we want to promote something when men can barely handle the whispers of their own evil ego? I have nothing against polygany - I know that our Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, was a just man to his wives. If only the women in today's time had these type of men, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
One more thing. I agree with Aaminah. These are definitely positive sides to polygany, but it isn't that easy anymore. We have attached ourselves to human beings, allowing ourselves to get distracted from our Beloved - Allah. If it were so easy to disattach ourselves from men, I would definitely be for polygany. I just see more harm than benefit in many of the relationships I have heard of. The harm being that Eeman is lost, families are broken and what not. Each person is to blame for the Iman, but we shouldn't put our families, if we love them so much, in situations where they run the risk of suffering and possibly losing the family bond. It isn't worth it.
AA- Umm Layth,
Can I suggest you read my other post on this topic here?
Basically, I'm wondering why the abuse of an Islamic institution by some Muslims warrants its wholesale rejection, as you seem to be proposing? I use the example of Jihad and how eventhough its being abused by the jihadi element, mainstream Muslims aren't calling for its rejection. We are simply trying to educate on the proper ways that Jihad can be practiced.
Why not the same for polygyny?
For the record, I agree with everything you said about the dangers of polygyny in many current-day families. But I am suggesting that proper education (of both wife and husband) can possible lead to a society that can fully appreciate its value.
wa 'alaykum as salam
I'll read it insha'Allah sometime today.
I am not calling for its rejection in any way, except that by promoting it I feel that we have to tackle many other issues first.
We all suffer from some serious internal issues these days; far worse than in the time of our Beloved, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam. If we can promote polygany for the sake of helping each other improve the current state, helping more women have husbands, more children have male role models, I am for it, but with a lot of dedication to calling people back to Allah first.
Women need to be given a way to turn their attention to Allah, to be reminded that they aren't here for any human being, so that they can handle the change. Men need to have some basic understanding of women before they think they can handle two. Women need to understand that their husbands have been given a right by Allah but that by them getting a second wife they aren't being replaced, and that if their husbands are unfair in any way, it is their aakhirah, not theirs.
Basically, a call back to tasawwuf first before going around promoting an action that men can cause more harm with than any benefit.
I hope that makes some sense. If not, I'll clarify later insha'Allah. Gotta go.
Assalaam Alaikum
Polygyny is NOT acceptable nor supported by the Quran. This fallacy has its basis in misinterpretations and mistranslations of the Quran.
Allah makes it clear in the Quran....
[An-Nur 24.32] MARRY THOSE AMONG YOU WHO ARE SINGLE, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female. if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace. for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things.
If the female Muslimah would suggest to any married consort the above ayah, polygyny would cease to exist!
Allah is making it very clear that both male and FEMALE should marry ONLY SINGLE people NOT married people (Men).
Thus the ayah in Sura Nisa 4:3 takes on its true meaning, which is DIVORCE NOT marrying 2,3 and 4 wives.
[Al-Nisa'a 4.3] And if you are fearful that you cannot do justice in the orphans SO MARRY FROM WOMEN WHO SEEMS GOOD TO YOU, TWOS AND THREES AND FOURS, then if you are fearful that you cannot be equitable then marry one or marry what your right possess, that would be lowlier if you do not support.
Again as with most english translations, the above translation is incorrect.
When one reflects upon the Arabic of Sura Nisa 4:3 it becomes quite apparent that Allah is speaking about Divorce NOT marrying 2,3 and 4 wives!
[Al-Nisa'a 4.3] Wain khiftum alla tuqsitoo fee alyatama fainkihoo {MA TABA lakum minna alnnisai mathna wathulatha warubaAAa} fain khiftum alla taAAdiloo fawahidatan aw ma malakat aymanukum thalika adna alla taAAooloo
{MA TABA lakum minna alnnisai mathna wathulatha warubaAAa}
Ma = NOT Taba = good/lawful Lakum =TO/For YOU to be given the Minna = favor/gift/blessing/benefit of Al Nisai = (get married to) Women Mathna = 2, Thulatha = 3, and Rubaa = 4 TIMES
The 'Ma' is a negation, preceding the perfect verb 'Taba'
Thus Allah is indicating that we (Men) should NOT do something...
This is where they misinterpretation begins Mathna = 2, Thulatha = 3, and Rubaa = 4 TIMES
Any Arabic speaker from infants to adults know that the words for 2,3 and 4 are ithnan means 2 thalatha means 3 arba’a means 4 NOT mathna, thulatha or rubaa'a
Mathana means to do something 2 times, Thulatha means to do something 3 times and Rubaa'a means to do something a 4th time!
One can easily find these meanings here:
Mathna:
Hans Wehr Arabic English Dictionary 4th Ed. Page 128 – 130 (tana)
Dictionary of the Holy Quran page 87 (Thanna)
Thulatha:
Hans Wehr Arabic English Dictionary 4th Ed. Page 126 – 127 (thalatha)
Dictionary of the Holy Quran page 83 (thalatha)
Lanes Lexicon Part 1 Page 348 1st column
Ruba'a:
Hans Wehr Arabic English Dictionary 4th Ed. Page 373 – 374 (raba’a)
Dictionary of the Holy Quran page 200 (rubaa)
Sura Nisa 4:3 is referring to Divorce NOT marrying 2,3 and 4 wives.
******************************************************
Now for those who suggest 'well the Prophet did it'...
Allah again makes it clear....
[Al-Ahzab 33.50] O those who believe in the Prophet! ....ANY BELIEVING WOMAN WHO DEDICATES HER SOUL TO THE PROPHET IF THE PROPHET WISHES TO WED HER;- THIS ONLY FOR YOU, AND NOT FOR THE BELIEVERS (AT LARGE);
Again reflecting upon the Arabic we see.....
imraatan muminatan in wahabat nafsaha lilnnabiyyi in arada alnnabiyyu an yastankihaha/ يَسْتَنكِحَهَا khalisatan/ خَالِصَةً laka min dooni almumineena
yastankihaha/ يَسْتَنكِحَهَا khalisatan/ خَالِصَةً
Yastankihaha (imperfect, 3rd person) wish to marry
Dictionary of the Holy Quran page 577 (nakaha)
Khalisatan (active participle) Distinct Quality, Someone with exclusive right, one who is pure, genuine, best choice, most excellent; Mukh-la-san / Mukh-lee-san means one who is Chosen, Chosen by Allah, pure from pollution or hypocrisy, pure & sincere towards Allah, purely believing in the unity of Allah (applied to a Human)
Lanes Lexicon Volume 2 page 785-787;
Online Single Page http://www.studyquran.co.uk/LLhome.htm
Dictionary of the Holy Quran page 161 (khalasa)
This behavior was EXCLUSIVELY for the Prophet!
Again, the practice of 'excesses' in regards to women was addressed in Sura Al-Ahzab 33.37
Allah states specifically,....
lamma qada [decree or judgement has brought an end to ] zaydun[excesses] minha [regarding the FEMALE] wataran [one’s SINGLE desire or need] zawwaj nakaha [Female for Marriage] li-kaa (for YOU)
Salaam Alaikum
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