My sweetheart has finally shown her true colors. After 14 years of marriage, I’ve discovered that she’s a closet Arab Supremacist. The discussion below is proof of my findings:
(Humza is H, Maryam is M, Naeem is N and my Arab Supremacist Sweetheart will be...oh wait...that doesn’t sound right. Let’s instead call her ASW for Arab Supremacist Wife – that’s better).
(Sitting in the car, looking for a way to pass the time)
N: I got a game, think of a name that starts with the letters of the alphabet. Start with A.
H: Ayah
N: B
M: Bilal
N: C
H: Cat!
(confused look on all our faces, silently praying for his future wife)
Game goes on through all the letters, until P, when no one can think of a name, so I jump in...
N: Parveen
H: Is that even a name?
N: Yeah, its my sister’s middle name
ASW: (snorts)
Then, we get stuck at U and again, I chime in with Umbreen. Then all hell breaks loose when I suggest Vaseem for the letter V:
ASW: (in her look-at-me-imitating-Naeem dorky voice) Perveen, Umbreen, Vaseem (back to her normal dorky voice) What’s with all these Paki-stanki names? (in the spirit of full disclosure, she actually said Pakistani and not paki-stanki, but I know she was thinking it)
N: What do you mean? They’re not Pakistani...they’re just normal Muslim names.
ASW: Yeah right. What’s up with Vaseem? Its supposed to be Waseem, with the Arabic ‘waw’, not the Urdu version of it ‘v’. That’s just straight up retarded. (again, she didn’t say that last part, but was definitely thinking it!)
N: Listen, certain cultures adjust the Arabic names to better suit their indigenous language. The Turks did it with Mehmet, which is the Turkish version of Mahmood or Muhammad.
ASW: Well, they’re dorks also. You wouldn’t change the pronunciation of the Quran to suit your lingual deficiencies, would you? The Arabic name is supposed to stick to the original pronunciation. Anything else is simply unacceptable.
N: Not true. What about your good buddies from Egypt (ASW's best childhood friend is Egyptian). They changed Jamal to Gamal, right? Are they dorks also?
ASW: (stunned silence)
N: (turning to Maryam, with my strongest desi accent) Vat u tink Maryam, I vill reply vith the ‘Boo-yah!’
On a serious note, I’m really intrigued by the way the different regions across the Muslim world have incorporated Arabic names into their local languages.
The Balkans are a good example with surnames like Hadžiosmanović (son of Hajji Osman) and Izetbegović (son of Chief Ezzat) and first names such as Dunja (Dunya), Ilijaz (Ilyas), Ejup (Ayub), and Yekup (Yaqub). The Turks have many as well with Ahmet (Ahmad), Murat (Murad), and Zeynep (Zainab). Africa has its own with names like Imamu (Imam), Sefu (Saif) and Mamadou (Muhammad).
Cool stuff.
Just don’t call it genocide
1 week ago
29 comments:
You are so funny! I really enjoy reading your posts.
AA
Naeem, although people sometimes pronounce it Vaseem, its always spelled with a 'W'! Gosh, what's happened to you - it seems that ever since you started blogging, you're always instigating fights for no reason!! :-)
WA
SubhanAllah :)
The best in my opinion are the Indonesians and Malaysians .. they think nothing of having names of Hindu gods alongside Muslim last names :) Krisna Azmi .. Anita Firdaus, Siti Kuncoro, and so on.
Perfectly innocent of course, and most of them don't even know where those names come from. But my parents were taken aback when we were there :)
@junaid up there: I know a couple of 'Vaseem's .. although I've never heard it being pronounced with a hard 'V' sound.
AA Naeem, Sahra, continuing to read your blog, here. Ummmm, I was totally with you until you said "Africa has its own with names like Imamu (Imam), Sefu (Saif) and Mamadou (Muhammad)." PLEASE brother, don't join the ranks of the ignorant by combining all Africans into to one nation called Africa (just google Bushisms)! In Somalia, we don't say Imamu, but in some West African nations like Senegal, they do. We do have our own versions though, like my real first name, Faduma instead of Faatimah. So my name is Faduma Sahra, named after the beloved daughter of our beloved Messenger Muhammad ibn Abdullah (saw), Faatimah Zahra. Tell ASW that ALLAH created us into nations and tribes so that we may KNOW one another and not so we may despise one another. I LOVE the diversity of the pronunciation, it is way cool! Oh, also tell ASW salaams from me and I have a bone to pick with her but not because she is an Arab Supremacist! :-)=
really funny stuff :)
I am greatly rejoiced to know that though my sister is thousands of miles away from her family,she is still holding on to her true roots....(yeah yeah i know your in the heart of arab land)
but still.you pakiSTANKIS,yeah i said it,need to get your pronounciations straight. the one that annoys me the most personally is how southeast asians call people by the name of Zayd "Zed". then Zahra becomes "Zaara" and Ahmed becomes "Emad" and the list continues. i guess im an arab supremacist as well.nice.
BismillahirRahmanirRahim
Salamu'alaykum
Funny post!
Only thing is, the Turks didn't choose Mehmet because it suited their language better.
The shortened version was chosen because of the spiritual heaviness of carrying the name Muhummad. The Prophet was extremely sacrosanct to the Ottomans, who built a firm a wariness of associating any person with the Prophet (S).
As SHY says recently:
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2007/12/the_real_teddy_bear_tragedy.html
"Turks even prefer the contraction Mehmet to avoid using the name in common circumstances. Westerners have a hard time understanding such reverence in a markedly irreverent age."
I have another to add to the list...
Sobia the asian subcontinent version of the original arabic Thuwaibah.
What a mess, maybe i should join the ORIGINAL PRONUNCIATION league too.
AA-
@Suroor, Thank you
@Junaid, "ever since you started blogging, you're always instigating fights for no reason!!"
Correction, I've been instigating fights way before I started blogging. Its just now open for the world to see. :-P
@brownsandokan, "they think nothing of having names of Hindu gods alongside Muslim last names :) Krisna Azmi .. Anita Firdaus, Siti Kuncoro, and so on."
That's an amazing tidbit. Very interesting. Reminds me of the Pathan's from North Pakistan using names like Abdur-Rasool or Abdu-Nabi....Not sure if the Islamic ruling would be to require them to change their names...
AA- Sahra,
"PLEASE brother, don't join the ranks of the ignorant by combining all Africans into to one nation called Africa "
You're absolutely correct. I should have said Swahili for names like Sefu and Imamu. Good catch sis!
"So my name is Faduma Sahra, named after the beloved daughter of our beloved Messenger Muhammad ibn Abdullah (saw), Faatimah Zahra."
I never knew that. I always thought it was from Sarah and you Somalis simply misspelled it. LOL!
"Tell ASW that ALLAH created us into nations and tribes so that we may KNOW one another and not so we may despise one another."
In her defense, she doesn't despise all nations and tribes...just Pakistanis. ;-)
AA- Yursil, "The shortened version was chosen because of the spiritual heaviness of carrying the name Muhummad. The Prophet was extremely sacrosanct to the Ottomans, who built a firm a wariness of associating any person with the Prophet (S)."
Subhan'Allah, what a beautiful explanation. Thanks for that clarification!
AA- Smee,
"What a mess, maybe i should join the ORIGINAL PRONUNCIATION league too."
On the contrary, I don't think its a mess at all. I see it as a beatiful manifestation of our cultural diversity that should be embraced instead of 'corrected'.
I agree with your wife!
AA
I have a Pakistani buddy named Azhar. Kinda funny... since he's a dude, but for Arabs "Azhar" is a girl's name. But as he informed me, the Arab version is actually "Ad'thar" or something to that effect, meaning "bright" that's just been slurred into Azhar. One thing gets me, though, and that's the slurring of "thaa" "dhaal" "daad" and "DHaa" all into zzzzzzz.
Gujus have a hard time pronouncing the letter Z properly, they turn it into a J, like Zayd sounds like Jayd, Zubeda is Jubeda, Zohra is Johra, haha, dang fobs
Gujus?
Gujjus as in Gujaratis. Pronunciations (and spellings!) get more interesting as you go south ..
Br. Yursil brings up an interesting point .. our desi ancestors in their confounding wisdom thought the solution was to address a person by multiple names. So the birth certificate says Mohammed Qutubuddin, they call him Anwar at home (Annu pyaar se), and another few names thrown in for good measure.
You'd think centuries of confusion would have convinced people to drop this! But no, it goes on.
Another thing with desi Muslim names is that there is a strong Farsi influence. I think all those names that end with '-naaz' etc. are Farsi in origin. I don't really mind if some names sound like corruptions of Arab counterparts. If someone wants to name their kids after Ambiya or Sahaba for the ta'seer, great. If not, that should be fine too.
PakiSTANKI's...hahaha...lovvvve it...
I don't think we should be coming on here disrespecting or mocking or making fun of cultures.
Anon,
"I don't think we should be coming on here disrespecting or mocking or making fun of cultures."
I agree with you 100%. This blog is all about love.
Except for my arab nationalist better half who started this all (see her Paki-stanki remark) and then that stupid guju Espy decided to pile on with his unnecessary comment.
Why can't everyone be like us nice Pakistanis?
Funny; however, my wife agrees with your wife. ;) And if I wrote on my blog what you wrote (e.g., "that's not what she said, but what she thought"), my wife would prolly kill me. ;)
AA- Jdsg,
"And if I wrote on my blog what you wrote (e.g., "that's not what she said, but what she thought"), my wife would prolly kill me. ;)"
Worry not my friend, my wife doesn't read my blog, so my life is safe....for now. ;-)
There is no P in the arabic alphabet, so you would have to resort to desi names :)
ma'assalam
lol this was so funny :) u write correct Bosnian (or as u said Balkan's) last names, I applaud for that :D Yeah we have Hadziosmanovic, our president was Alija Izetbegovic( or ur wife will maybe says its Ali :D)
I think its not such a big deal about this, my mom used to say : call me a pot, just dont break me LOL
salams from Bosnia :)
AA- Leila,
"u write correct Bosnian (or as u said Balkan's) last names, I applaud for that"
Thank you for the nice comment.
"call me a pot, just dont break me"
Wise words from your mother. Take care in Bosnia!
Hello, first time reading your blog. I really think you're overreacting. The fact that you think you know what she's thinking when you said she didn't say "paki-stanky" but you had a feeling she was thinking it... I mean, that says more about you than it does about her. You have a feeling she's an Arab supremist but the little game you played only showed us that she's a typical Arab who will obviously think of Arab names. Just as you will think up Pakistani names. You obviously have a problem with her Arab mentality, and that's where you need to sit back and evaluate your own thinking. Maybe try to appreciate each others differences rather than get annoyed at one another's diversity. You should know that's a big part of being married to someone outside of your culture.
Anon,
Thanks for the comment, but I'm sure as you read more of my blog, you'll be introduced to my tongue-in-cheek style of mocking myself and the world around me.
Hope that doesn't bother you *too* much. :-)
I myself am in a multicultural marriage - Arab and Indian and appreciate we have quite stark cultural differences and values.
Language is living and evolving - largely Arabic prefers to maintain true to the Quranic language - however no one speaks this language in modern times. The living languages of the MENA region are always referred to as "slang" or bastardized versions of the Arabic language. Some Arabs truly believe that "Allah" speaks in Arabic and therefore see the "changing" of words or names to be an affront to the developer of Arabic (ie God)....
It is difficult for most people to understand, especially if the concept of a sophisticated God that could know more than one language is part of their beliefs.
Human beings have the right to pick, choose, pronounce and use any names they like. I don't know why we have to be constrained by yet again another ridiculous "rule" to make life harder. Isn't life already hard enough in the MENA region and for Arabs especially?
Anyway, if the theory is that Arabic is so pristine and above other languages - please advise such theorists to stop using words such as CD, United Arab Emirates, radio, internet, email etc.
What's up with all the English words?
Regards,
Vaseem
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