What is it with this whole evil eye obsession? Especially with women. This one family was coming to visit us the other day and my wife frantically came to me urging me to read Quran over the entire house and kids. Seems that the lady guest is very envious and tends to give the evil eye.
What.Ever.
Thank god men aren't as jealous and envious of each other. I don't know many men who really care that you're making more than them or driving a fancier car or wearing nicer clothes. Although I have heard that some men (*cough* my brother-in-laws *cough*) wish they had my good looks, but I won't dwell on those sad saps.
I understand that the evil eye exists (after all, its existence is acknowledged in our deen), but I always feel that women take it to too far, constantly in fear of getting the evil eye, wary of associating with those known to give the 'ain (Arabic for 'evil eye').
I don't mean to gloss over the dangers of this sin, but I'm always amused by the extreme measures taken by some women when it comes to this issue.
Am I alone in thinking this?
Having said that, let me conclude with a lighter look at this issue (and just to appease you ladies, I'll use two men in the story):
There was once a young, pious man (hmmm...let's just call him Naeem) who constantly prayed in an isolated cave outside of town. He would religiously withdraw to the quiet spot, performing long acts of deep worship and contemplation.
After one such session, he heard a booming voice, "Oh Naeem, make a prayer and it shall be granted." Startled, he quickly prayed, "Ya Allah, please bless me and my family with abundant sustenance so that we can dedicate our lives to worshiping and serving You."
And so it was that Allah (swt) blessed his family with abundant wealth. True to his word, Naeem used that wealth for the purpose of worshiping his Lord. His family joined his efforts and they all became known throughout the town as charitable, merciful people.
So one day, a close friend came to visit Naeem (ohhh...let's call him Saleem) and asked him what the secret was to his good fortune. At first Naeem hesitated, but seeing that Saleem was sincere in his query, he confided with him the secret of his success.
Saleem decided to follow the same route and for years toiled in deep meditation and worship in the same cave that Naeem used to visit. Eventually one day, a voice declared to him, "Oh Saleem, make a prayer and it will be granted."
With tears of joy streaming down his cheeks, thrilled at the acceptance of his long struggle, he raised his hands and prayed, "Ya Allah, I am so grateful to You for accepting my efforts, so I will make my request short and simple. Please put an end to the wealth You have bestowed upon Naeem."
:-)
WAW
4 days ago
18 comments:
Salaam,
Okay, I think you might lose me on that one. From the BA perspective I can tell you much of what I see among men has to do with envy brother. Everybody wants the newest, hottest bling and baddest chick because they have to out-perform everyone else. Here is some Black Barbershop talk for you; if it wasn't for the girls, BA drug-dealing brothers wouldn't sell drugs. Its not about the money, its about what the money can get you. These guys are envious of others and risk their lives for you-know-what. It is the ultimate envy among BAs here. You heard the phrase, "Keeping up with the Joneses?" Shoot, even in Muslim organizations there is a certain amount of envy among the men, trust me. I don't know about women, but it seems a man's envy is always related to his ego and personality.
AA- Charles,
Thank you for your thoughts. However, I believe we are talking about two different things.
The way I see it, desire for bling and women is about greed and feeding the nafs. Regardless of what others may have, these people will desire more wealth, power, and women.
The trait of envy and jealousy that I'm referring to, as displayed by women, is the kind summarized by the Saleem character in the story. What burns him up is seeing happiness and contentment in his 'foe'. Instead of praying for more ('keep up with the Joneses'), he would rather pray for the demise of the object of his envy, Naeem.
Big difference between the two approaches, IMO.
I believe there is a degree of what you speak of in BA folks here too. I was just complaining to my wife yesterday about how Black men here are tearing apart one of my favorite playwrights. Many of the critics aren't striving for their own successes; they just don't want to see him doing well. I think desiring to see another individual fail also feeds the nafs.
Haha!
Hahaha...mashaAllah...may Allah keep you funny...
On a more serious note, according to a certain mufti, the evil eye is something that should be taken seriously and precautions should be taken to prevent this from harming us...especially those of us who are not the living embodiment of what a practising/cognizant muslim should be...
Mufti saahib also mentioned that most of the time the "ain" comes from the parent...obviously unintentionally but many times when we look at our children with pride and joy and do not say mashaAllah or something of the sort...we may be indirectly harming our children and therefore ourselves...
As-salaamu Alaikum Naeem!!
I'm so glad you wrote a post on this topic. I learned something, and saved myself having to write another post asking my poor readers what is this "Evil Eye" business I keep hearing about and fail to comprehend.
I hear people talk about it, since I've become Muslim... and it sounds nothing but hokey and superstitious so I just sort of push it of my mind with a "yeah sure whatever" attitude.
Someone even brought it up in a sisters class the other day (it was a class about sabr) and the imam's answer just made me even more confused.
A few weeks ago I was eating dinner at a restaraunt and the owner's wife I know, she's really sweet, and she was telling me how one was sick and then went on to explain how she thought it was the 'evil eye' because he's so cute and some people are just bad and want a cute kid? I dunno... it was hard for me to keep nodding along with sincerity, without laughing out loud.
I should be more careful not to mock things I don't understand, but seriously, I think people go a little out of control on this issue... like, how can you accuse someone of causing it? I think people kind of like to make themselves feel better so think that other people want to envy them... and that is the cause of their problems. They are just so good that other people envy them.
No offense to anyone.. and I'm sorry I don't understand. But frankly I think this 'evil eye' business is just weird. And I know that if anything harms me it does so by Allah's will, and anything that benefits me is also according to Allah's will. So I seek refuge in Allah.
Yo, Amy, you spoke my heart!
-manas shaikh
AA- Charles,
I was thinking that maybe this issue of the evil eye is more cultural, as I've seen it really exaggerated in the Arab and Desi societies.
So based on your experience, would it be safe to say that this 'evil-eye' business is not very prevalent in the BA side? I'm not talking about envy, but specifically about the evil-eye and the idea that it can cause harm.
AA- Amy,
Thanks for the comments...You pretty much summed up my stance on the issue.
While I acknowledge the existence of the evil-eye (as depicted in Sura Falaq and various ahadith), I, like you, find it hard to control my laughter at the attitude of women when they talk about its harm.
I have yet to understand how the belief in the evil-eye is aligned with the belief in Allah's omnipotence. It may be one of those confusing questions like free-will vs predestination.
I definately think the 'evil-eye' paranoia is more prevalent in the Indo-Pak communities. I have heard any and everything being blamed for the 'evil-eye' from a kid losing interest in her little potty, kids getting sick after an afternoon chai session, to a pimple on a person's face. Some have said their kid lost their appetite because of hasad, someone felt too sleepy, to a friend's sister twirling smoking red chili peppers around her house to get rid of the effects of it....Understandably people say "what the heck is going on with you people?" when they act like this. It just simply boils down to ignorance of the subject and the actual signs of the 'evil-eye' and how to get rid of it. I've had people force me to say masha'allah every single time I say something pertaining to them and then they echo another 3-4 masha'allahs. Really, letting it get to the point of a true phobia is giving into fear of the unseen. Trust and reliance on Allah is paramount in all situations and circumstances. It's also neccessary to stay in contact with a pious, knowledgable scholar on a regular basis. In this way, an individual can understand the deen and practice upon it in a correct and beneficial manner.
Assalaamu alaikum
I think with everything particularly religion, the 'middle way' is so important. We know that the evil eye is real so we should read ayat al-Kursi (2:255), make du'a to Allah for protection of our kids like the one Rasoolullah made for his grand children (I seek refuge for you in Allah's Perfect Words from every shaytan, evil thing and evil eye) and after that we should chill and get on with it... say "I have put my trust in Allah."
We should remember also the hadith that states something along the lines of: if all of mankind and all of jinn were to get together to benefit you in some way, they could only achieve that if it is something written by Allah (swt) and if all of mankind and jinns were to get together to harm you in someway, that would only ccur if it was already written by Allah (swt).
LOL @ your little story there... the first part made me think which big international company are you working for then?? The second bit made think that perhaps br. Naeem is the driver after all for the 'Amriki woman' mentioned in an earlier post! LOL
Umm Ibrahim
Yeah, I'd have to say in strict terms of 'ain', that would reside within certain cultural mores. The cats over here certainly don't think they impact lives without physical intervention of some type.
My father-in-law out there in Saudi says that he and his family have been harmed in the past by this strange magic (thats what I call it) and I wouldn't want anything to do with it. Also, when I was in the Islands, I found people very wary of the 'ain' and they were neither Muslim nor Desi or Pakistani. Some real Ooga-Booga stuff, like "don't leave your porch light on in the day because the eye might get you". Allah give me protection.
AA- Anon,
"I definately think the 'evil-eye' paranoia is more prevalent in the Indo-Pak communities."
Its just as much in the Arab community.
"I've had people force me to say masha'allah every single time I say something pertaining to them and then they echo another 3-4 masha'allahs."
LOL! And even that isn't enough. I've been forced to say Masha'Allah *Tabarak'Allah* when I said simply Masha'Allah.
I understand where these people are coming from, but when every innocent compliment is taken as a possible evil-eye, that's just too much. It makes you wanna stop giving compliments.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
AA-
@Umm Ibrahim, "We know that the evil eye is real so we should read ayat al-Kursi (2:255), make du'a to Allah for protection of our kids like the one Rasoolullah made for his grand children"
What a beautiful reminder. And thank you for citing the hadith on the entire world wishing harm or benefit.
Sadly these people who are infatuated with the evil-eye tend to lose that balance. They forget the simple measures taught to us by our beloved Prophet (saw) to counter the negative affects of the evil-eye and instead go crazy in worrying about so-and-so giving our child the 'ain.
@Charles, thanks for the Islands reference. It does indeed seem to be a cultural phenomenon. For example, I doubt we'll see it as much in Gen II (and moreso in Gen III) American Muslims.
I wonder why? Is it the greater role of science (and diminished role of religion/metaphysical) in the West? I'm tending towards the issue of education and literacy. But then again, I've seen college educated, even doctors, indulge in such fanciful discussions. Go figure.
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
as-salaamu 'alaikum, brnaeem I'm not sure what you were trying to do with this post but the last thing the internet needs is more negative keywords relating to Muslims. You wrote,
"What is it with this whole evil eye obsession?"
The "obsession" means basically a compulsive obsession with something. And if you look up the "obsession" in Google you may or may not be surprised what the top links are referring to.
So the answer to your question is a matter of faith. The "obsession" is actually belief in what the Holy Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon) said as reported by Abu Huraira,
Allah's Apostle said, "The evil eye is a fact," (Sahih Bukhari)
Abu Huraira also reported the Prophet saying,
"The effect of an evil eye is a fact." (Sahih Bukhari)
Furthermore, Hazreti 'Aisha, the most beloved of the Holy Prophet (may Peace and Blessings be upon him) said,
The Prophet ordered me or somebody else to do Ruqya (if there was danger) from an evil eye. (Sahih Bukhari)
Likewise, Sayyida Umm Salama narrated that the Prophet saw in her house a girl whose face had a black spot. He said.
"She is under the effect of an evil eye; so treat her with a Ruqya." (Sahih Bukhari)
Ruqya (reciting Qur'an to remove the presence of Evil and its effects) is to do exactly what your wife urged you to do!
Hazreti 'Aisha also reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded the use of incantation for curing the influence of an evil eye. (Sahih Muslim)
The Arabic word used here is taweez.
-Saifuddin
AA- Saifuddin,
May Allah bless you for reminding us with those timely ahadith citations.
But I believe you misunderstood my post. I never expressed any doubt in the existence of the 'ain or hasad and its evil effects. That is an undeniable part of our deen.
What I object to is the extreme measures taken by so many (my experience shows that its mainly women) in countering its perceived effects.
This all starts with a 'hunch' or a 'gut-feeling' that so-and-so is giving the evil-eye. Why the need to pick out certain individuals and accuse them?
And once those individuals have been 'established' as having the evil-eye, the entire community will blacklist them. They will be the talk of the town and the gossip mill will churn non-stop creating tall tales of their evil-eye.
Our deen doesn't teach any of this.
Nor does it teach blaming every unfortunate event on the evil-eye. That is another extreme. Every slip, every hiccup, every injury becomes another chance to blame so-and-so.
Its that balance that I'm calling for. Let us make our dua'as, read our Quran, and take all appropriate measures. But lets stop all the ignorant silliness associated with the evil-eye.
I hope I made my point bro.
i think the problem is that 2 fold really. there are some muslims who go in extremes..even practice false innovations, bidaa't claiming (wearing an charm that looks like an eye, or assuring there are blue beads and stones wherever they or their children are) that it is a part of ruqya..which to everyone else seems really whack. then there are other muslims that totally downplay the whole real effects of 'hasad' that are confirmed in our faith and even done on prophet muhammad (pbuh).
if we have anything good-it comes from Allah, and by invoking Allah's Name while seeing something beautiful, wonderful we remind ourselves to be grateful for what we have not be jealous, and at the same time we remind the one with that 'great' thingy..to be more grateful and less proud..
br. naeem..your right, some do go over board..and at the same time, we need to be proactive in invoking Allah to protect our children through quran, ruqya..etc.
Allah knows best..
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
wa 'alaikum as-salaam.
"I hope I made my point bro."
Indeed
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