Over the past 5 years that I’ve been in Riyadh, I’ve been party to a most common expat pastime – bitching sessions. Almost every sitting with western expats is guaranteed to have some complaints about life in Saudi Arabia. From the annoying exit/entry visas (required every time you wish to travel outside KSA) to the haphazard bureaucracy in the various ministries to the crazy driving on the streets to the inhumane treatment of labor workers, everyone has something negative to say.
At first I enjoyed piling on to this very easy target – for sure, life seems very strange to a first-time visitor. There was a guilty pleasure in sitting with others and sharing the frustrations of this new life.
But at some point, it all started to feel hypocritical and counterproductive. Here we are reaping the benefits from our Saudi hosts and all we have to share are negative criticisms about how life here doesn’t stack up to life back home.
This hypocrisy especially hit home when I saw this same habit in the non-Muslim expats, but in a more vile and sinister manner. While my fellow Muslims and I were critical of life in Saudi, we always concluded with the acknowledgement of the blessing of being in a Muslim society. On the other hand, many non-Muslims oozed with imperialistic hubris, constantly deriding the Saudi persona as backwards and doomed to irrelevance without the white man’s assistance.
So I’ve taken a stand on not being so critical of life in Saudi and have encouraged others to do the same.
I see this attitude reflected on the larger Ummah, as typified in the streets of the Muslim world, where every corner coffee shop is teeming with talk of conspiracy theories and backroom machinations. All this bickering and complaining reflects very poorly on our collective psyche.
We have instilled into ourselves the permanent victim mentality. The fingers are always pointing outwards, looking for someone else to blame, never taking the time for any serious internal self-evaluation, never taking the effort to make lemonade out of our God-given lemons.
In fact, this same censorious attitude is found in many Hajjis, who find it very difficult to get beyond the overcrowding, lack of hygiene, and myriad difficulties associated with the Hajj. Blame is recklessly thrown around from the Saudi government to the Hajj operators to the countless illegal pilgrims.
I must admit that after my first Hajj, I was similarly disappointed with all the human elements of the Hajj and returned with mounds of negativity. It was only during my second Hajj, when I witnessed some fellow pilgrims in my group constantly bickering, that I realized how disgustingly whiny we have become as an Ummah.
For too long I would constantly lament at the unjust depiction of Muslims in the media, the all-too-obvious Muslim dehumanization and vilification by the West. I would rush to call out the double standard and the sheer hypocrisy. But to what end? All this whining does nothing the change the nature of the ignorant.
Surely there is a time and place for constructive criticism, but sadly that is an art form long lost on our Ummah. It's so much easier and self-gratifying to complain and drown ourselves in our miseries.
Just don’t call it genocide
1 week ago
10 comments:
haha. i'm like the exact person who does this. and on the other hand, my husband would just love this article. he feels exactly the same way lol.
I like this post! Will have to think on it.
I was going to ask you how you were doing out there but on second thought...
Also, the complaining and victimization mentality is another reason I write some of the things on my blog. I don't think we have collectively put our minds to rebuilding Islam's greatness among men and women.
some of the things you pointed out is something the bani israel had..like this victimization thing and pointing fingers at others, tryna save our own back at the cost of whatever. and from what i know, the story of musa is mentioned quite often in the quran, has to be for a reason.
Dear brother Naeem
You do have a point. But without providing a solution you too fall into the trap- the trap of only complaining. Complaining about complains.
Please tell us what you think about solving this. Not only stopping complaining but also so that everybody works together to overcome them?
I think there has to be a fine line between complaining and still speaking out and letting the truth of injustice and bureacracy(spelling? heh) be known.
I mean you can't also just zip your mouth and pretend no problems exist and just hush up.
so there's got to be a balance. ofcourse i don't know how you 'define' the balance.
AA- everyone, thanks for your comments,
@Charles, I strongly believe that before we can turn our efforts to rebuilding (which some people and orgs are currently doing), we must rid ourselves of this victim mentality.
@Anon1, I think you may be confusing the Quranic lessons of Bani Israel with the more recent stereotype against Jews (which portrays them as a whiny people always complaining about being the victim). Of all the mistakes and shortcomings of Bani Israel taught to us in the Quran, I don't recall this being one of them.
@Isha', you got me thinking of a follow-up post in response to your comment...will put it up today or tomorrow...
@Anon2, I definitely agree with you. I believe you are referring to constructive criticism and we definitely need to practice that. But all too often, our habit is to sit around, drinking chai, and complaining...
We just had a "Blog About Jordan Day" here in Jordan. Some of us are displaced Jordanians living elsewhere, some of us are displaced Americans living in Amman. Some moved away from Jordan and can barely remember 'home' now. Anyhow, it was cathartic and positive. Perhaps you ex-pats living in the Hijaz should have a Blog About Saudi Day, and tell us what is good. It really can make a person think.
I applaud you for trying to get away from the negative.
Very good observation on the Ummah - I also have been reading many articles and books on this same issue. Basically, our entire way of life, collective attitude and frame of reference has been "poisoned" by our very recent past environment. The result of colonization and losing "worldy" power has thrown our Ummah into this type of attitude, behavior and thinking. Many of governmnets and societies had adopted communist type thinking and political parties. It still confuses and shocks me to see a communist political party running for office in bangaldesh or in pakistan or even in palestine (PLO was a communist organization). I just never throught they would ever be there in the muslim world. What does communism type thinking do? It creates this type of victimization thinking and attitude among the masses of people. All of a sudden, the masses and laypeople believe they deserve something better. The powers to be are horrible and they are the victims and they need to whine, complain, and destroy the people up top to get what they "deserve". Even our Islam has been affected by this victimization thinking. Anyhow, this is too long to discuss here but I encourage your way of thinking about our/your problems. I live in the States. African American community also have the same problem here. In fact, they are conned, tricked and forced into believing they cannot make a living on their own, so their gov't gives them federal aid to live and eat off of. And they are encouraged to whine and whine about their past. Yes, it was a bad past, but life also has hope in it. If you were stabbed on the street or shot on the street, and someone came to give you a hand and take you to the hospital, would you slap his hand away and cry like a baby that you will not move until the person who did this to you is caught and put to justice?? NO, you would save your life and realize life is a test. And for our Ummah, it is especially tough - and that is truly a hidden Mercy if one were to ponder about it - AsalamuAlaykum
Asalaamu Alaikum Br. Naeem,
Great post. I think not only is the whiny complain-y habit a problem in the ummah but in society as a whole. I know I complain way too much and I have actually challenged myself to stop. Even when justified complaining for the sake of complaining is pretty useless.
ma'a salaamah,
ha
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