Naeem's Blog

The other day, Humza threw a fit and barked out ‘I don’t love you!’ Its not the first time he’s said that nor do I guess it to be the last. In fact, it’s pretty typical of children to say such words in times of stress and anger. But it got me thinking.

While children may blurt out those words without meaning it, what if a mature loved one were to say those same words? That would be mind-boggling and absolutely heart-breaking.

For example, even during the most tense of times, my wife has never expressed such a feeling. The worst she’ll do, in the aftermaths of an argument when I try to cajole her, is refuse to say ‘I love you’. But she’ll never go so far as to say ‘I do NOT love you.’

Those are two very different sentiments.

The negation of one’s love is so much more powerful than its affirmation. Its like the Shahada which centers on the forceful negation of any other deity. The negation is a conscious act of rejection, a deliberate act requiring effort, a violent act dispensing with the status quo, an act of choosing nothing over something.

[Of course, the beauty of the Shahada is that once you choose nothing (there is NO God), it is completed with the most perfect of affirmations (except Allah).]

Relationships may become stale and lifeless, but most partners will continue to express their love for each other. But only when a catastrophic event occurs (infidelity) or the build-up of a long negative trend (abuse), will one side be emotionally charged enough to declare ‘I do NOT love you.’

That being said, let us contemplate on the instances where Allah (swt), the most Loving, has gone against His very own loving nature, and has pronounced to the universe whom He does NOT love. What has caused Him to utter such strong condemnations?

Allah does not love the transgressors (2:190, 5:87, 7:55)
Allah does not love the ungrateful, wicked one (kaffar, atheem) (2:276)
Allah does not love the disbelievers (3:32, 30:45)
Allah does not love the oppressors (3:57, 3:140, 42:40)
Allah does not love the one given to treachery and depravity (khawwaan, atheem) (4:107)
Allah does not love those who squander, waste (7:31)
Allah does not love the treacherous, deceitful (khaa-ineen) (8:58)
Allah does not love the arrogant (16:23)
Allah does not love the one given to treachery and ingratitude (khawaan, kafoor) (22:38)
Allah does not love those who exult in their riches (referring to Qarun and the like) (28:76)
Allah does not love those who spread mischief (28:77)
Allah does not love the arrogant boaster (31:18, 57:23)

Let us ponder and reflect. Let us hope and pray. Let us dread and fear ever falling into the category of those whom Allah does NOT love.

I find all the above to be referring to characteristics that have become ingrained in the person, not just one time occurrences - in much the same way that Allah’s love is unique to those who have embodied certain positive characteristics.

(BTW, I found it interesting that the trait of treachery and deceit (kha-in, khawwan) was mentioned three times, on par with more well known offenses such as transgression, oppression, and disbelief.)