So, it's that time of year. No, I'm not talking about Hajj or Eid - this is more important. I'm referring to the annual "Let's take a collective dump on Naeem" Brass Crescent awards.
Another year has come and another year has gone in which the good folks at the Brass DooDoo awards overlooked my online presence. (Read about past travesties here and here)
In fact, their treachery has sunken to new lows this year - they added a category for dead blogs!! Its like they're saying that I can't even compete against a corpse.
Really? I mean, was that even necessary? Aziz, did you really have to go there?
Well, if they're going to go this far, it's only fair they should create a category for Resuscitated Blogs, as mine was dead for 4 months and then it miraculously came back to life. In fact, that's more reason to celebrate and give me some sort of award.
Anything?
To be honest, I've moved on from those poopie-heads. The folks at BC wouldn't know blogging beauty if it kicked them in their aRSS.
So this year, I am going to officially make blogging-takfir of these folks. They're all dead to me. As of 0700hours GMT, they will all be removed from my blogroll.
What's that? They were never on your blogroll to begin with, you say. Well, in that case, I'm gonna double remove them and so I guess, that means...I have to...hmmmm...add them?? Well, that just doesn't make sense, does it?
Whatever.
Truth is, I have too many blogging awards and am thankful that I needn't worry about some cheesy BC award. Folks are running over each other to give me awards...it's like so weird. Like this guy here. I got his Gold Star award for having too much time on my hand...not sure what that means, but it must be good cuz it's a Gold Star.
Anyways, I'm taking my 13 loyal readers and going to play elsewhere. You folks have no idea how high I can fly.
Just don’t call it genocide
1 week ago
18 comments:
Ha, ha! You have a great sense of humor. Glad to see you blogging again. :-)
Not to worry. When I set up my own Muslim blogging awards, I'll make sure you win. No problem.
With that post, you now have 14 readers...
15 :)
In all seriousness, award for best dead blog? I was thinking (I suppose like a programmer) can't we calculate that from the previous winners? And in the end that's exactly what happened lol.
Assalamu Alaikum
I ventured over here hoping to NOT see your "cold turkey" post, and whaddya know? New, fresh material. It's nice to have you back in top posting form.
You also made me laugh, which I needed.
You only have yourself to blame: you're supposed to nominate yourself for inclusion in the shortlist, preferably several times.
Then when it comes to the voting, you have to email all your friends to tell them to vote for you (ignoring the jihad on the ego momentarily) and post the obligatory, "I've been nominated" paragraph on your blog.
It's simple really. Unfortunately I think my seven loyal readers have been on holiday.
You are hysterical.
Completely.
Hysterical.
Let's start our own dang awards next year! Huzzah!
Here was my take on the "dead blog" thang:
http://oyhabibti.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/famous-for-nothing/
LOL @ Tim...
Ah, so THAT'S how it's done!
*taking copious notes for next year*
Thanks for the comments folks!
@Traveller, thanks dude...but which award am I going to win? I need to prepare my acceptance speech.
@Abu Yasmeen and Dilsenomad, what you both failed to account for is that my total of 13 was an exaggerated figure. I bloated the number to boost my self-esteem. In reality, you both are 6 and 7, respectively. :-(
@Tim, naaahh...that's all too much work. I'd rather whine and cry about it all after the fact. And nothing quite beats the joy of calling people poopie-heads.
@sabiwabi, nice post on the dead blogs award. v funny!
You see these posers, "14" "15"...#1 Reader now and forever, RIGHT HERE!
Haha I really like the aRSS! and you told me not to curse. haha just kidding.
You get best blogger ever for me. Your like a contemporary version of those amazing philosophers you read about.
Faique gives you: "Best Everything Award"
Mashaallah Bro Naeem IS back. Subhanallah the most Awesome blog is back. Bro Welcome back alhamdulilaah.
Salaams Naeem, perhaps you could compete on best humor blog, but then you also have so much depth. that's your problem: you can't be easily categorized, LOL. or, ahem, your depth is just over the head of the sorts who really believe that awards are important and blog in anticipation of them...
Tim, for the record, i voted for you! and am definitely one of your loyal 7. :)
Naeem - You're one of my faves. You don't need any stinkin' award. We love you anyway!
With all due respect, I don't think you deserve that reward!
Granted, you pick interesting topics to write on occasionally but you have rather parochial perspective and your interpretation of current events is skewed at times.
AA-
@Susie, "You're one of my faves."
Just *one* of your faves?? Not the absolute most favoritest??
@Anon, you've really got me wondering. With such a biting comment, you must either be my brother-in-law or one of the BC judges. But my BIL has no clue what parochial or skewed means and I'm convinced the Brass Crescent judges have never visited my site, so I'm at a loss at who the heck you are!!
Either way, pray tell what exactly do you mean by my parochial perspective or my skewed views?
Not to worry. Loyal readers FTW.
and yet another loyal reader!
A quote which seems appropriate in this situation: Why look for the acceptance of the few when u have the support of the many?
Oh, so that's why I'm never nominated: I'm supposed to nominate myself! The dead blog award was the biggest joke and, I hate to say, I was a little surprised at the winner and honorable mention for the SE Asian award. Not that either of these blogs are bad; both are on my Google Reader. But the winner has written a grand total of 43 posts so far this year, and the runner up 26; meanwhile, I've written 232 posts in the same time (and that's just my main blog; it doesn't count all the other blogs I have or write on). I guess the secret then is, hardly write at all and everyone will love you. What a dope I am!
I guess my only hope this year is the 2009 Gold Star Awards. Naeem, don't fail me now! ;)
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