1. to sit in a low or crouching position with the legs drawn up closely beneath or in front of the body; sit on one's haunches or heels.
2. to crouch down or cower, as an animal.
Since I promised this person that I wouldn't use their name in the retelling of this tale, I will instead choose an anonymous acronym. Hmmm...let me think. This person is a woman and I find her very endearing. So let's call her Woman I Find Endearing (W.I.F.E).
Perfect. Anonymity preserved!
W.I.F.E: Where are all these annoying flies coming from?
Me: Maybe its the cold weather. They're looking for warmth, I guess.
W.I.F.E: Can't you just go buy a flysquatter and kill them all?
Me: Buy a what?
W.I.F.E: A flysquatter. You know, those things used to kill flies. Sheesh, were you like raised in a cave? You really ought to read more and expand your vocab...
Me: Excuse me, but were you raised to catch the flies and *sit* on them?
W.I.F.E: What're you talking about?!
Me: Uhmm, squat means to sit down and you called it a flysquatter. Its supposed to be called a flySWATTER.
W.I.F.E: Yeah, whatever. Same difference.
Me (laughing): Sure, I'll catch the fly and you can sit on it. Deal?
W.I.F.E: Ha...Ha. Very funny
After a brief moment of silence,
W.I.F.E: Just make sure this doesn't end up on your stupid blog. I know you have nothing else to write about...
Me: Hey now, I maintain a high standard on my blog.
W.I.F.E: Yeah, like putting up a picture of your son wearing all orange.
Me: Well played. Fine, I promise I won't include your name...
As a fly buzzes past me,
Me: Quick my dear Crouching Tiger, there's another fly, go jump on it!
Friday, November 28, 2008