squat [skwot]:
1. to sit in a low or crouching position with the legs drawn up closely beneath or in front of the body; sit on one's haunches or heels.
2. to crouch down or cower, as an animal.
Since I promised this person that I wouldn't use their name in the retelling of this tale, I will instead choose an anonymous acronym. Hmmm...let me think. This person is a woman and I find her very endearing. So let's call her Woman I Find Endearing (W.I.F.E).
Perfect. Anonymity preserved!
===
W.I.F.E: Where are all these annoying flies coming from?
Me: Maybe its the cold weather. They're looking for warmth, I guess.
W.I.F.E: Can't you just go buy a flysquatter and kill them all?
Me: Buy a what?
W.I.F.E: A flysquatter. You know, those things used to kill flies. Sheesh, were you like raised in a cave? You really ought to read more and expand your vocab...
Me: Excuse me, but were you raised to catch the flies and *sit* on them?
W.I.F.E: What're you talking about?!
Me: Uhmm, squat means to sit down and you called it a flysquatter. Its supposed to be called a flySWATTER.
W.I.F.E: Yeah, whatever. Same difference.
Me (laughing): Sure, I'll catch the fly and you can sit on it. Deal?
W.I.F.E: Ha...Ha. Very funny
After a brief moment of silence,
W.I.F.E: Just make sure this doesn't end up on your stupid blog. I know you have nothing else to write about...
Me: Hey now, I maintain a high standard on my blog.
W.I.F.E: Yeah, like putting up a picture of your son wearing all orange.
Me: Well played. Fine, I promise I won't include your name...
As a fly buzzes past me,
Me: Quick my dear Crouching Tiger, there's another fly, go jump on it!
Just don’t call it genocide
1 week ago
11 comments:
I have my own fly swatting story. Its on facebook.
G'luck killing all those flies!
Ha, ha, ha! Loved W.I.F.E. and "flysquatter." That's great! Tell your wife thanks for being a good sport because I appreciated the laugh this morning. :-D
Another blog I read has its own page of "Mabelisms", various slips of the tongue his wife has said. Milady and I have had a chuckle reading this page over the past few years.
good stuff. W.I.F.E. I really enjoy your writing.
-F
That was hilarious. I really needed a good laugh!
AA-
Thanks for the comments everyone,
@Susanne, "Tell your wife thanks for being a good sport"
My wife?! Huh? What could you possible be implying? That I was posting about my *wife*?! I think you may have..uhmmm... misunderstood...cause my wife would never say such silly things... ;-)
Hi Naeem - This is a hilarious post. Very well written! I love the W.I.F.E. acronym and the "flysquatting" word - really hilarious!!!
Ah, Naeem....so sorry! My error. Did I say "wife"? Yikes! I could have gotten you into great trouble!! I *meant* to say your W.I.F.E. is a great sport. I am so sorry about the slip of my tongue..er, fingers there. ;-)
lol, good one, recently a good friend of mine, his wife saw a lawn sign saying OBAMA BIDEN, but mistook it for OBAMA BIN Ladin lawn sign.
I could post so much regarding the wife about these slip-ups, but she's real sensitiwe about them. Hilarious!
AA- Sophister,
"I could post so much regarding the wife about these slip-ups"
What a horrible suggestion! I respect my wife too much to drag her through the mud in public. I'm really disappointed in you Sophister...
;-)
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