Its been 6 years since we moved to Saudi Arabia and I've had a considerable amount of time to reflect on the overall pros and cons of making that move. I'm able to simplify it into a quick analogy:
Imagine two towns.
The first town has many amenities that make life easy and comfortable. Of these services, one of the most attractive is its fully loaded gym with swimming pool, sauna, and tennis and basketball courts. It allows me to regularly workout and keep my body in shape. However, the town has a terrible sewage problem in which many diseases lurk. If the malaria-infested mosquitoes and occasional outbreaks of cholera don't get you, the stink of the sewage-filled river will bother you to no end. Although the opportunities to get into good shape are abundant, the chances of getting sick are too high.
The other town is cleaner and has a proper sanitation system thereby limiting the exposure to life-threatening diseases. However it has limited amenities and most significantly has no gym. While this environment greatly minimizes my chances of getting sick, at the same time, the absence of the gym gives me little hope of getting stronger and healthier.
Which is better for my personal health?
6 years and counting, I find myself in the latter town. While I feel that I've brought my family to a setting that is safer for their spiritual well-being, it has not allowed us to improve and become stronger in our faith.
The strong, central community. The positive influences afforded through the camaraderie of the brothers. The gluttony of opportunities in community activism. The plethora of conferences and seminars and other educational outlets.
All things I need to build up the strength of my iman. All missing here in Riyadh.
I feel that I've basically preserved my faith while living here - having neither regressed nor progressed. And sadly I'm feeling the same fate is destined for my children.
Conversely, I'm too scared to consider the thought of moving back to the states as exposing myself and my family to the greater chances of 'getting sick' is not a viable option.
Sometimes I nostalgically look back and wish for the chance to run to the gym and do some serious 'lifting'. Until then, I guess I'll have to do with bench pressing cement blocks and doing squats with my kids on my shoulders.
WAW
3 days ago
18 comments:
Quite the analogy!
And I suppose building a gym is illegal?
AA- Haleem,
Excellent question and thanks for pointing out my mistake in the analogy. To be more precise, there are many, many 'gyms' here - its just that they are hollow and lifeless.
And I think its true for most of the Muslim world. While the masjid in the west plays a central role in the community, in the Muslim world, its functions solely as a place to pray. People come, pray, and leave.
Hope that makes sense.
Muslim is who you are ...not where you are.
gyms can be found everywhere...we cannont always find ourselves in the place we are sure we will.
was trying to say something there....just not sure what...lol.
Salam Brother Naeem,
I'm wondering if you can give me some advice. I recently got a job offer in at a local college in riyadh.
Many of my friends and family are telling me it is not a good idea to go because it is difficult for a single person that grew up in the west to live there.
My main preoccupation is to preserve my religion, while also earning a lawful income.
sorry for rambling but any advice you have would be appreciated.
may Allah increase you and your family in all that is good, ameen.
Ali
brnaeem..consider egypt.
we moved here from virginia and dont see it as stangnant as riyadh might be.
a very lively city.friendly ppl. good places to live if u got the money.
great schools - again based on money. islamic and 'international'.
we've found one that is american accredited and has an amazing islamic vision.
lots of muslim froeigners here. lots of settled muslims here. lots of desis here.
cairo that is.
lots of opportunity to 'study' islam/arabic. ppl are nowhere as uptight as riyadh. lots of duroos here. etc etc.
bein exposed to pakistan-as i see u are as well-very EASY transition from virginia to cairo.
ummabdullah
p.s. i read your blog very often and really appreciate it the insights based on mainstream islam and not some wacked out ideas.
AA- CoolRed,
I think I understand what you're getting at. And I agree that one can struggle to maintain the faith regardless of location. But I'm not talking about what is possible or not - rather, my post is about what is more suitable to fostering a greater sense of faith. Some would prefer to go live in the mountains - not me. I'm a very social creature and I need a support structure around me in order to thrive spiritually.
AA-
@Ali, I'm not sure where your friends and family are getting their facts from. There are MANY westerners living in Riyadh. This city is very modernized. Its not some small desert town, so I don't understand what their advice is based upon.
That being said, your income makes a huge difference on the lifestyle you live. For example, if you're getting less than 10k riyals/month, you most probably will NOT be able to replicate your lifestyle from back in the West (assuming you're middle to upper middle class). But even then, you won't be living in a tent void of running water. :-)
If you need more info, feel free to email me directly.
@UmmAbdullah, so you really feel that the Cairo Muslim scene is comparable to NOVA? Wow, that's very impressive!
You see, here in Riyadh, there are many western Muslims who I get along with. But the problem is that we're spread out across the city and so we visit masjids local to our home, as opposed to the US where everyone convenes in the central masjid in the city (allowing the brotherhood to strengthen).
Isn't that the same in Cairo?
I mean does the masjid function as the community center there? with social activities, classes, etc.
At the same time, I don't want to give the impression that I'm living in a isolated situation here. We have halaqas here as well as social outings with other families.
But it just lacks the same vigor and zeal that existed in the US. Not sure if I'm making sense...
A-o-A Naeem,
How are the learning opportunities there in Riyadh? Specifically for someone who wants to learn traditional Islamic sciences as a part-time student.
AA- Azad,
Depends on what you mean by traditional sciences. As you may know, the dominant school of thought in Riyadh is the Salafi. So there are countless avenues to pursue knowledge from that perspective.
However, if you're looking for madhab-oriented learning (Maliki, Hanafi, etc.), then that is extremely limited in Riyadh. I have heard of some brothers traveling 2 hours outside Riyadh to study with some shuyookh.
Riyadh is not like Sham, Egypt, or Pakistan when it comes to such type of learning opportunities.
I can't say that I relate because you have a wife and children to think about. But I know moving to back to the States scares me at it has only been 8 months! LOL. I feel so spoiled here. To be a Muslim here is so easy. There's some challenges but not anything so severe that they can't be overcome. ::Sigh:: I hope I can say but that depends, of course, on the qadr of Allah. We'll see. Meanwhile, post more photos!
Assalamu alaikum,
Brother Naeem I know exactly how you feel. My family and I also moved to Saudi Arabia from America five years ago. As a Muslimah who grew up in America I did not think I could ever get used to living here. You're absolutely right about how there are no social/recreational/religious activities here to get involved in and how no real cameraderie naturally exists among Muslims here because of everyone living isolated lives. Unlike in America, where Muslim communities often strive to come together on their own in order to live their lives as Muslims in a largely non Muslim country, in Saudi Arabia (and I suspect in other Muslim countries)it's taken for granted that you are living in a Muslim community so why should there be any need for building cameraderia? Alhamdulillah after making lots of du'a to Allah to help me adjust to life here I have made various efforts with other dedicated sisters towards starting our own social/recreational/religious activities. So now I've started to appreciate my life here. I feel that instead of getting depressed and having a woe is me attitude about life here I should make the most out of living here. This is especially so because I don't see us returning to America any time soon (especially with the economic crisis being as awful as it is now).
AA-
@IzzyMo, "I feel so spoiled here. To be a Muslim here is so easy. There's some challenges but not anything so severe that they can't be overcome."
I'm so glad you feel this way. I pray your euphoria continues throughout your stay. Sadly, mine didn't. As much as I try, that emptiness remains. I simply pray that its not a 'showstopper' for my and the family.
@Anon, I'm very happy that your prayers were answered and you found a positive group of sisters. I have found a similarly positive group of brothers. However, it just isn't the same. Nor will it ever be. Because the dynamics of society here is totally different than in the US. Different problems, different needs, different pros, different cons, etc.
I guess we just have to adapt.
If the Islam that you are living feels 'hollow and lifeless' shouldn't that tell you something about your faith? Seems you are trying to chase down this image of Islam that you have been sold on but does not exist in reality. If you had a true love of God you would NEVER feel hollow or lifeless living a God filled life. You might want to try looking into another religion or maybe some other way of life without a 'religion'. But I guess to do that would mean you would have to leave KSA. If you love your children you wouldn't willingly choose to raise them in an oppressive environment such ad KSA.
Anon,
"If you had a true love of God you would NEVER feel hollow or lifeless living a God filled life. You might want to try looking into another religion or maybe some other way of life without a 'religion'."
Oh pray tell, what is this other way of life that you are privy to that can ensure an ever-vibrant and always upeat state of mind??
"If you love your children you wouldn't willingly choose to raise them in an oppressive environment such ad KSA."
Please tell me from your oh so wise ways what oppression I am exposing my children to?
I'm all ears.
Dear Anon,
When Brother Naeem and I were comparing Muslim lives in both Saudi Arabia and America we were in no way claiming that the religion Islam itself was giving us a "hollow existence". As I wrote about my own experience I have been able to make my life in Saudi Arabia comfortable enough to continue living here all thanks to Islam. My life here is of course still very different than the way it was in America but that has nothing to do with Islam but the way different Muslims practice Islam. The way Islam is practiced in SA has to do with the different nature of its government, public apathy towards wanting to live Islam more vibrantly, SA's developing economy, and cultural interpretations of Islam. These combined lead to the different ways Islam is practiced within different countries.
If you need more info, feel free to email me directly.
@UmmAbdullah, so you really feel that the Cairo Muslim scene is comparable to NOVA? Wow, that's very impressive!
-Its not ditto obviously. but we're in an area where there's lots of foreigners. see in cairo, taking taxis is easy
and inexpensive. so women getting around and meeting eachother is actualy a possibility. women also commonly take
taxis although many foreign muslim women dont like to.
-also its a lively city.
-would u believe i attend a halaqa twice a month with a very WELL Known speaker from the US who was/is studying here..
-we randomly just run into foreigners here EVERYWHERE. in the grocery store, to the mall, to just all over the place. ppl from chicago, from cali, from france, from UK, from south africa etc and on and on.
-there is an area here, a huge compound of sorts w/ pretty much everything available inside(medical,groceries,
awesome rides, etc, pharmacies, malls, eating areas etc.) where alot of western muslims have gone and settled there.
we're hearing of many duroos and get togethers there and the masajid are OH SO CLEAN. so we're thinking of moving
there next year to check it out.
-its clean(google it: rehab,cairo). but i can assure u. its nicer in person than it looks in teh pictures.
Isn't that the same in Cairo?
-outside of rehab(the suburb i mentioned above), it is comparable yes ofcourse u dont come together that often.
However, there still are certain areas where foreigners here tend to live: namely maadi, zamalek and nasr city.
so for instsance, nasr city is like where all the arabic insitutes are and also azhar is nearby so you'll
be living close to many 'potential' friends. see what i mean?
I mean does the masjid function as the community center there? with social activities, classes, etc.
-No. there is definitely a dearth of growth opportunities the way that exist in the west. FOR SURE.
but can u believe i took a lifecoaching class by a muslim lifecoach certified by DISCOVERU here in cairo?
and there's other such seminars and educational opportunies available. but for u to know about 'em,
u gota be in touch w/ the right people.
Another opporutniy that i was thinking of atending but ended up passing up was a day long seminar by a german
psychologist on self esteem, only worth 100 LE!
-in other words, im trying to say that cairo is a lively city with lots of different types of ppl so opportunities
exist, u just gota find 'em.
-After about 6 months of living here, although i emmensely enjoy certain particular conveniences (like being
comfortable 'looking' visibly muslim) and being albe to pray anywhere, and feeling mainstream as opposed to a
fringe of society, and getting things delivered to my doorstep(from medicine to vegetables to my groceries from
the supermarket-yup!), i do really miss the feeling of togetherness in the mosque. and some days its really creeping
up on me.
Anther huge thing is that islamic schools are no comparison for the islamic/international schooling available here
in cairo.
from the actual facility to qualified teachers to totally cool extra cirriculars, its AVAILABLE.
Also, the other thing about cairo is that unlike saudi, u are not looked down upon if yur a foreigner.
I feel VERY respected here in general. versus in saudi, its always like yur second class.
Traffic here is ANNOYING AS ANYTHING. i am not sure how that is in saudi.
ofcourse u can't drive on over to makkah from here to do umrah. thats a hUGE PLUS.
and im guessing u might have some great amenities yourself living in a compound.
so it just depends.
ohyeh one more thing. outside of 'rehab', everyone hre lives in apartments. villas are a luxury for the few and even then they dont seem to want green grass INSIDE THe villa walls. weird.
so its not like yur kid can just go outside for 5 minutes and ride a bike. that only exists in rehab as far as i've seen.
otherwise ppl take their kids to amusement parks or sporting clubs(for the middle class n up) which i might add are AMAZING.
nothing like what we have in the US. its a gigantic park that meets the needs of the whole family.
im guessing its like gymkhana in karachi but bigger and better in every way imaginable.
Ummabdullah
AA- UmmAbdullah,
Thanks so much for the info on Cairo. We were considering visiting Egypt in late April, but may delay it for next year.
From your description, its not *that* different from Riyadh. The activities are here for those willing to search and find them. But as we agree, its just not the same as back in the US.
And you're correct about the Saudis not welcoming foreigners. Its very rare to find locals here who welcome their Muslim expat brothers with open arms. And even when they do, its limited.
If you moved there for the sake of Allah, none of this would be an issue to you. I'm not saying you didn't, but maybe you need to rethink why you moved there. It's not like it's impossible to have a social life there, you just want it exactly like you had it in America at the masjid. First of all, most masaajid in America aren't as social as you make it seem anyway. My experience has always been different. And if the masjid you went to was social, I'm pretty sure it was because of being minorities or or fear of losing their identity that the people felt the need to meet up in the masjid. If you're in a Muslim country, why can't you focus on having a social life outside the masjid? There are masajid everywhere and people have their own family. How much social life you expect each masjid to have. Please be realistic and stop looking for what you're used to.
May Allah help you.
I.e. Be grateful because many people want to move there but can't.
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