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You Don't Know Squat

Friday, February 24, 2012

Recently I'm becoming more and more convinced of the wisdom behind squatting.  No, I'm not referring to the tactic used by the underprivileged where they occupy a piece of land or property, refusing to move until their demands are met. I'm talking about the more primitive form, referring to position when going to the bathroom.


I kept procrastinating on writing about this topic until I was reminded of it with this article from Slate. You see, I've never regularly practiced squatting (I only used the flat toilets during long road trips here in Saudi) as I was raised using the standard toilet and so my body simply grew incapable of comfortably squatting. However, a while back the toilets stopped working in my office and I was forced to resort to the Eastern-toilets. And I must admit that everything stated in the Slate article is correct.  Without getting too graphic, let's just say that everything simply 'flowed'.


The Wikipedia page on flat toilets lists a few of the health benefits. In addition to it being physiologically healthier, these toilets are environmentally safer. They don't require an obscene amount of water to flush with the more traditional toilets letting natural decomposition do most of the work (see: Humanure).


For those curious, here's a hilarious yet educational video on the Do's and Don'ts of squatting:


(YT link) (h/t American Bedu)


Finally, if you do decide to go down this route, you can look as happy as this lady!

Friday, February 24, 2012 | Labels: East meets West, life in Saudi Arabia |   7 Comments  

Dangerous Deliberations and Dandy Discoveries

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I find myself sitting in the hospital’s expansive lobby outside their waiting room, looking upon little Sarah recklessly stumbling around the open area. At first I’m amusing myself by watching Sarah amuse herself. Quite a boisterous character that little 2-yr old, I think to myself. 

Just a few weeks ago, an elderly Pakistani lady, unable to resist temptations to squeeze her, snatched Sarah up as my wife was walking in the mall.  She continued to kiss her chubby cheeks until her twenty-something son, embarrassed by his mother’s antics, pleaded for her to stop.  And when my wife jokingly mentioned that she must have been attracted to our daughter due to Sarah’s Pakistani roots, the lady became even more overcome with joy and pasted her with several more smooches.

Ah yes, the joys of rearing irresistible Sarah.

Then my mind wanders back to the hospital.  How long until they call Ibrahim’s name? What should I do? I should have brought a book along. Do I need to call anyone? Oh wait, why not open the Quran and recite a few verses.

But the Shaytan immediately springs into action.  Or is it my nafs? Sadly, I’m never able to tell the two apart.

What an insincere act, I think to myself. After having exhausted all other options, only then you turn to the Quran.

It’s actually more insulting to the Creator of the Quran to recite His words in such a disgraceful manner than to not read them at all. The Divine Words are not meant to be a last resort, an afterthought, option C or D.

How pathetic that you haven’t opened the Quran all week and only now that you’re bored, you’re turning to these eternal words?

Don’t you dare offend your Lord by opening His book in such a wretched manner, I continue trying to convince myself. Better for you to go home, set aside the proper time, find the proper place, create the proper frame of mind, and recite the Holy Book with khushoo’ (sincerity and awe).

Flustered by my confusing deliberations, I turn my attention back to Sarah as I discover her climbing all over the sofa.  What an easy life to be so carefree. Not a concern in the world. No worldly worries, no fiscal responsibilities, no internal struggles, no epic battles against the self.

And that’s when it hits me.  My cunning, despicable self has duped me once again.

I refuse any last-second whimperings from my nafs and quickly open up my Quran. I flip to the verses in Surah Yunus which my Quranic study group has recently reached and as I’m casually reading the verses with the translation, I get to verse 58:

قُلْ بِفَضْلِ اللَّهِ وَبِرَحْمَتِهِ فَبِذَلِكَ فَلْيَفْرَحُوا هُوَ خَيْرٌ مِمَّا يَجْمَعُونَ

“Say: In the Bounty and Grace of Allah and in His Mercy – in this, then, let them rejoice! For it is better than all that they may amass.”

I stop abruptly and repeat this verse several times over.

Ya Allah! What an incredible verse!

These most sublime words from *MY* Lord to *ME* resonate so deeply into my soul, carrying such a promising message of hope and love that I immediately commit them to memory.

Bursting with such…happiness.  What a soothing contrast to the oh-so-serious message often heard over masjid loudspeakers.

Let us be happy and giddy at the thought of our Lord’s favor and mercy.
Let us be full of exuberance and excitement.
Let us emanate cheer and bliss as we inhale Allah's benevolence. 
Let us joyfully exclaim and gleefully whisper the bounties of our Creator.

And while the verse specifically is commanding our beloved Prophet (saw) to say this to his followers, we are indirectly being commanded ourselves to spread these words of euphoria and jubilation.

Fal-Yafrahu (فَلْيَفْرَحُوا) – then let them celebrate, be happy, rejoice.

What a kind and comforting thing for our Lord to say to us feeble humans.  Through all the harm we humans create, sustain, endure, inflict, and suffer, we are offered these compassionate words.

That His Grace and Mercy is so overpowering, so overwhelming, so awe-inspiring that the damage we humans combine to wreak - on ourselves, on our fellow humans, on our fellow creations, on our Earth, all of it - pales in comparison. So much so, that not only are we to patiently persevere or quietly suffer or uncomplainingly tolerate the difficulties of life, but we ought to, above all else, celebrate and rejoice and honor His infinite Grace and Mercy.

Wow.

I'm left in sheer amazement as Sarah jolts me back to reality with a loud jovial scream as she frolics around the hospital lobby. On second thought, she and her toddler brethren don't have it as good as those of us able to taste the sweet, eternal joys of the Quran.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012 | Labels: Divine Rememberance, Islam, Quranic discoveries, Spirituality |   3 Comments  

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Naeem:
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