Naeem's Blog

I hate conspiracies. Really, I do.

Conspiracies are by their very nature quirky and implausible. When the popular understanding of an event has more than satisfied the vast majority, the conspiracy theorist is keen to insert some deranged possibility ('we never really landed on the moon'). Conspiracies are conversational fodder for those situated at the periphery of society ('US government has alien remains stashed away in Area 51'). Sometimes, conspiracies are used by the weak and the weak-minded to explain away their failures ('the Jews are behind all the chaos in the world').

I hate conspiracies.

But more than that, I hate those of you who write-off plausible critical analyses to global occurrences as conspiracies. As if to say that any narrative not in sync with yours (which you've merely parroted from the media) must be some wacky conspiracy.

What freakin' arrogance.

So the point of view espoused by the talking heads and public officials and university professors and other gods of rhetoric and subsequently regurgitated by your not-so-discerning intellect is the one and only possibility? And anything to the contrary is laughed off as a stupid conspiracy?

Really?!

To suggest that the Iraq war was more about money, oil, and geopolitical strategy than about gifting the people of Iraq democracy and liberty is a conspiracy?

To suggest that Darfur is more than the Arab government of Sudan savaging poor African farmers is a conspiracy?

To suggest that Pakistan's endless spiraling into chaos is more than the handiwork of jihadis is a conspiracy?

To suggest that the war in DR Congo is fueled less by tribal wars and more by corporate greed for natural resources is a conspiracy?

All the above have been callously labeled as conspiracies because they don't chime with the 'official' explanation that you've swallowed lock, stock, and barrel. Have you become so lazy that you refuse to lift the confusing layers of deceit blanketing the daily news?

Repeat a lie enough times and it will be accepted as truth.

According to you it was a conspiracy to suggest back in the 80's that America was supporting the Afghan mujahideen and even had a hand in creating Al-Qaeda.

According to you it was a conspiracy to suggest that America had a hand in the short-lived coup against Hugo Chavez in 2002.

According to you it was a conspiracy to suggest that America had a hand in Ethiopian forces storming into Somalia and ousting the Islamic Courts in late 2006.

The list goes on with countless other 'conspiracy theories' that have been proven true (Gulf of Tonkin, Watergate, Iran-Contra, CIA renditions, etc.).

Simple minds accept simple explanations to complex situations.

Listen, I'm as skeptical of zany 9/11 theories as the other guy. Really, I am. But when serious geopolitical events take place around the world and the writing on the wall clearly suggests alternative narratives to the ones pushed forward by press releases and PR specialists, I'm more than a bit skeptical.

And my skepticism turns to outright anger when my suggestion of thinking outside the officially mandated box is written off by you as conspiracy. As if I'm being equated to the losers who believe that Elvis is still alive.

What the hell?!

You need to go back and re-read "Manufacturing Consent" by Chomsky and Herman. It talks about the techniques employed by corporations and governments - "techniques of regimentation of minds used by the intelligent minorities in order to make sure that the slobs stay on the right course."

[For lazy slobs like me, watch the Manufacturing Consent documentary. You can download the entire 700MB video here. For the even more lazier, here is a nice summary about how consent is manufactured in public opinion.]

This urge to marginalize alternative explanations (as if to prove to the powers that be 'hey, look at me, not only have I fallen for your explanation hook, line, and sinker, but I'm even crapping on those who suggest otherwise') has seeped into the Muslim community. Now, any and every terrorist event is apologetically attributed to the Muslims. Granted, the jihadi element within the Ummah have long crossed the line on decency and acceptable norms, but must you so quickly take the baton from the western media and despotic heads of state in attributing every evil deed to Muslim terrorists?

And then you flippantly denounce any other possibility as a conspiracy?

Have you become so intellectually inert that you simply rehash the media headlines as you see them and the governmental press releases as you read them? Is it so difficult for you to allow the rays of your intellect to burn through the propaganda-filled fog clouding your judgment?

I just returned from Pakistan last week and one of the conversations I had with my relatives was about the statement made by one of Pakistan's cricket players that no one in their right mind would ever attack Pakistani cricket as its too sacred an institution in the country.

And with that I express my deep sorrow and even deeper anger at what just happened in Lahore, a few blocks from where my parents used to live.

I have only two possible explanations for what took place:

I am convinced, as are so many that I've spoken to, that a serious effort is afoot to destabilize Pakistan and render it a failed state. That would benefit too many bigtime players in the international scene - US (who would gain control of Pakistani nukes), Russia (who badly wants to get revenge on Pakistan for its role in Russia's Afghan debacle), India (self-explanatory), and even Afghanistan (who blames Pakistan for its failures). The Mumbai attacks, the constant US cross-border attacks into Pakistani territory, the kidnapping of a UN worker in Balochistan, and Pakistan's recent economic woes (it almost collapsed Iceland-style late last year) lead me to my conclusion.

The other possibility is the Pakistani military and its intelligence service, the ISI. They yearn for the days of military rule and are looking for reasons to bring back martial law and military dictatorship.

I'm also convinced that the jihadi elements are just not that stupid to carry out such brazen attacks on Pakistan's other religion, its beloved cricket. Pakistanis from all facets of life were rejoicing and ever grateful to the Sri Lankan team for having made the dangerous venture to their home country and such an attack would forever alienate the jihadis.

Things in Pakistan are not as black and white, good vs evil as many would like us to believe.

Allow me to begin with two anecdotal tales:

1.) I was talking to my son's second grade teacher from last year and he told me about a Pakistani national curriculum project he's working on, commissioned by one of Pakistan's largest publishing houses, Ferozsons Ltd. The Pakistani government, he told me, had hired some consultants from Germany to revamp their nationwide curriculum in attempts to modernize archaic teachings found in their outdated education system.

They submitted their proposal and one of the members of some governmental board wasn't too happy with the additions, which included subjects such as the celebration of Diwali (Hindu holiday) as well as taboo topics such as dating. This eventually led to Ferozsons getting involved and hiring my friend.

2.) My wife's friend teaches at King Saud University here in Riyadh at a newly opened English prep program that has been subcontracted to a British educational company. Their textbooks (and I read them myself) are filled with references to pop culture completely foreign to local Saudi culture (dance clubs, mixed social gatherings, Britney Spears, Bruce Springsteen, and many more cultural icons).

I was floored by the blatant message being pushed in their texts. It wasn't even subtle. Conversations discussing Xmas parties and social mixers. Vocabulary focused on attire specific to western society (tank tops, shorts, etc.).

I figured that since the program is new, the school administration hasn't gotten the chance to review the material, but boy was this stuff explosive. I would seriously have a difficult time exposing my children to such cultural propaganda (the Disney channel is bad enough).

I share with you these two tales to introduce my post on censoring education, especially as is being practiced in Pakistan/Afghanistan.

I'm seriously beginning to get upset with Muslims so callously denouncing the actions of ultra-orthodox traditionalists in the tribal areas of Pakistan - all based solely on the media's misrepresentation. But its a bit too much when respected teachers in the (online) community take a public stance without due diligence in getting all the facts.

For sure, I haven't traveled to northern Pakistan and gotten all the details, but based on my limited experience and personal reactions to disturbing trends in Western educational material being presented to our children, I can *begin* to understand what drastic measures an uber-conservative people (as found in Pakistan and Afghanistan) would carry out in order to counter such garbage.

Let's keep these factors in mind when reading about stories on girls education in northern Pakistan/Afghanistan:

1. These places are extremely poverty-ridden. The dynamics of such a society differs from ours. Education, for both sexes, is not necessarily seen as a way out of poverty. The boys normally drop out in order to help the family make ends meet, while the girls end up either staying home to help the extended family or they get married off. So when the school is seen as a source of questionable teachings, introducing thoughts and practices not only foreign to the society but antithetical to it, the result is a closing down of the schools.

2. The tension in the north of Pakistan has less to do with implementing Islam and more to do with the failure of the Pakistan government. The insurgency has used Talibanization as its vehicle to counter the gross incompetency of the national leadership. Sadly, education, seen as a propaganda tool for passing along the government's curriculum, is collateral damage in this war.

3. The other side of the story as told by the pro-Taliban folks is that the schools being blown up by them are in reality being used as base camps by the Pakistani army. They aren't targeting schools in order to shut them down, but as military tactics in their battle against Pakistani forces.

4. There is a major propaganda war going against militant Islam and one of the main weapons against them is the issue of educating girls. Just as apostasy, honor killings and FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) were the favorite topics of yesteryear, girls education is the hot topic of today in countering Islamism.

Such sensationalism is so widespread that CNN has even ascribed shutting down girls schools to the recent implementation of Shariah in Somalia. Such a phenomenon (of preventing girls from attending school) was never advocated under the Islamic Courts nor has the more radical Shabab ever promoted it. CNN's attempt at cross-over demonizing is pure disinformation at its best.

So before we start criticizing these movements in Afghanistan and Pakistan for taking away the God-given right of education, let us introduce some perspective into our dialogue as well as get our facts straight.

for thinking Arundati Roy's "God of Small Things" was boring and lame?

I just read it after a couple family members recommended it as a must-read. I've always been impressed with her political writings so I thought I'd give her fictional writing a try.

Boy was I wrong. I want the past two days of my life back. And my 8 bucks.

Can the god of small things help me out here?

On a completely unrelated note, I'm selling a very nice doorstop. Since you all are loyal readers, I'll give it to you for..hmmmm...lemme think...$8. Any takers?

The Guardian tells us of a leaked document from the UK government detailing their counter-terrorism strategy on isolating extremists in the Muslim community. The interesting part is where it details on how they qualify extremists:

"People would be considered as extremists if:

• They advocate a caliphate, a pan-Islamic state encompassing many countries.

• They promote Sharia law.

• They believe in jihad, or armed resistance, anywhere in the world. This would include armed resistance by Palestinians against the Israeli military.

• They argue that Islam bans homosexuality and that it is a sin against Allah.

• They fail to condemn the killing of British soldiers in Iraq or Afghanistan."

And from the looks of it, the defining characteristics are nothing new in this post 9-11 climate in which we find ourselves. Many of these qualifying traits have been used to describe extremists from day one of the war on terror, so its simply more of the same.

However, it does help us to see the long-term agenda in suppressing any form of political Islam. Its clear they wish for us to demarcate between religion and state thereby adopting secularism as an ideology.

And to boot, we mustn't support the defeat of their occupying, imperialistic ways!

What a sweet deal!

Now I don't agree with so much of the methodology adopted by many Islamists who advocate a global caliphate or the Jihadis fighting the US/UK forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. But I will never compromise my belief in the principles they are struggling for.

Am I wrong to believe that the majority of Muslims agree with me? The majority wants to live by the laws of the Quran and Sunna. The majority believes in Jihad as an essential component of Islam. The majority believe homosexuality is haram. The majority believe the foreign forces in Iraq and Afghanistan must leave.

Is it too much to ask that they understand the nuance between the majority of Muslims who believe in these basic Islamic principles and the minority who are going about achieving their goals in an unacceptable manner?

So basically, UK is telling us that for us to become accepted members of their society, we have to sell out on some of our basic principles.

No to Jihad, No to Sharia, No to Khilafa, and Yes to Homosexuality.

Yaay! Where do I sign up?

As much flak as Muslims get in the media, I think we should all be thankful that we're not Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.

The poor man gets absolutely no love. He recently won a referendum ending presidential term limits by getting 54% of the vote and he's presented as an autocrat who has no respect for the constitution.

Counterpunch has a nice article on the recent referendum showing how the Washington Post worded the democratically held referendum in this manner:

“President Hugo Chávez persuaded Venezuelans today to end term limits through a referendum that allows him to rule far into the 21st century to complete his socialist transformation of this oil-rich country.”

Odd how I never read anywhere that Obama "persuaded" the American public to grant him the presidency. Interesting choice of words by WaPo.

Do read the Counterpunch piece as it presents statistics on how 10 years of Chavez have drastically improved the lives of Venezuelans.

Since I'm travelling to Pakistan this week (no, I'm not moving to Swat valley. I prefer my religious freedoms offered me here in KSA thank you very much*), and I don't have much time, I'll take a page out of Dunner's book on posting comments made on other people's blogs.

I had this interesting exchange with fellow blogger ThinkingMuslim on the issue of terrorism and how we so callously condemn every Jihadi group, naively taking our orders from oppressive governments and their biased media.

He commented on a recent Mumbai-style attack in Afghanistan attributed to the Taliban and I responded to his questionable conclusion.

I'll let you be the judge on who is right and who is wrong, but seeing that you are loyal readers of MY blog, it's safe to say that you all will side with me. :-)

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AA- ATM,

I think its worth noting that you are basing your opinion solely on the presentation of the facts from an obviously biased perspective.

You haven't questioned one bit of the narrative that is being fed to you.

At least the article you cited was more cautious in differentiating between the Haqqani/Al-Qaeda group and the Taliban than you care for:

"The group counts a number of foreign fighters among its ranks and is generally considered more extremist than the Taliban in their tactics and political outlook"

Secondly, while your calls for rallies and khutbahs against such tragic acts are warranted, where were your calls for similar action against the daily fitnah caused by the US invasion and the ensuing Karzai government?

Yes, let us not be duplicitous.

And at the same time, let us question our sources...


ThinkingMuslim said...

It probably doesn't matter to you, but "defense" of the sort you have provided has been used for centuries by people who commit heinous acts. From colonial rulers in centuries past, to nazis in the earlier part of the last century to zionists brutes in Israel and militant hindus in India. It is called OBFUSCATION and it consists of the following:

- Call the source "obviously biased"
- Blame the other side of some vague "daily fitnah"

Such defense is dangerous because it feeds in to the lifeline for the actions of such monsters.

Bottom-line: There were several explosions in Kabul and innocent people have died. I have read first-hand accounts of people who are on the ground there. So I suggest we stop with this "have you questioned the media" bit already - it's gotten old. Instead, tell us if these reports of explosions are fabricated, if the Taliban claiming responsibility is a lie.

Secondly, no government in the world is perfect, nor will it ever be. There is some good and some bad in them. If the Taliban don't like something Karzai is doing, there has to be a better way to bring it to the world's attention than terrorism.

If we keep pointing to the past, insanity will never end.

People protested when the US invaded Afghanistan. Let's not use that to justify or pause to criticize the insanity of the Taliban.

In one friendly yet very emphatic tone: Please stop making excuses to justify or condone acts of terrorists. This culture of settling conflict/dispute with random explisions is taking too many innocent lives. Don't wait till it hits one of us very close to home to have an awakening. What is wrong in principle must be condemned no matter who is doing it.


Naeem: said...

AA-

"Please stop making excuses to justify or condone acts of terrorists."

Really? I ask for some balance in perspective and you accuse me of justifying/condoning acts of terrorism? How very Dick Cheney of you.

"I have read first-hand accounts of people who are on the ground there."

And *that* is your idea of getting the facts? I read the same articles. The Afghan Intelligence Service doesn't come off as the most reliable of sources. My doubts remain until I hear more than a statement of responsibility by Mr. Zabiullah Mujahid.

I have no love loss for Al-Qaeda who have shown themselves to be more anarchists than freedom fighters. To lump them with Taliban who have a better track record than most wish to recognize seems convenient and intellectually lazy.

In one friendly yet very emphatic tone: Please stop being a mouthpiece for America's imperialistic aspirations.


ThinkingMuslim said...

> Please stop being a mouthpiece for America's imperialistic aspirations.

Imperialism and America? Where did that come from? Bro, I think the word is TRIBALISM (not imperialism) and in your case, it will cause you to drag everything else into this debate instead of simply calling a spade a spade, err...a terrorist a terrorist.

If balance in perspective means pretending that TWO wrongs make a right, I am happy with my slanted perspective.

Look, can we agree on at least the following:
- That explosions occurred in Kabul?
- That people died as a result of those explosions?
- That no matter who did it (which seems to be your big issue), such actions are criminal in Islam?
- If Taliban or Muslims were behind it, shame on them.
- If imperialistic America did it, shame on America?

One more request. 8 years of the world's most intellectually lazy man as our president and I may have caught a case of that myself. So enlighten us with the virtues of the Taliban, will you? If you post on your blog, please let me know and I will come to get enlightened, IA.


ThinkingMuslim said...

> I have no love loss for Al-Qaeda who have shown themselves to be more anarchists than freedom fighters.

I wish you could hear yourself. It's called pussyfooting. You sound you're afraid to call these sick people sick. With use of phrases like "love loss" and "more anarchist than freedom fighters" you're betraying the struggle many Muslims face despite overwhelming evidence.

Say it out loud - "Al Qaeda is a bunch of monsters. They have brought suffering to Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Their agenda has nothing to do with Islam." Say it, bro, you won't be hit by lightening.

I am afraid you will read the above and see more Imperialist American agenda. Don't worry, I am used to it by now. Step 1 ("acknowledging you have a problem") in most 12-step recovery programs is the hardest and it takes some time to get there. I respect your struggle... :)

America: Imperial, the satan!
Taliban: Better track record than most wish to recognize...
Al Qaeda: Umm, maybe freedom fighters but really, err, anarchist sort of, you know...
Iraqis who're still running suicide missions: Could be CIA, you never know! Right, one never does know!


Naeem: said...

AA- ATM,

You know what's gotten really tiring? The GWOT paradigm where its us vs them, good vs evil, lovers of democracy vs lovers of terrorists. I thought that bipolar view of the world left with Bush and Co.

I don't buy that narrative where I must either vociferously denounce the terrorists or else I'm a secret supporter. Its not as black and white as you wish to present it. Its very disappointing to see you peddling such an overly simplistic perspective.

And what's even more disappointing is that you have to ask me for my stance on the Taliban, especially after having written two recent posts on my blog on said topic.

I guess its my fault that I haven't been able to captivate you with my writing as you have done me. I will try harder.

When it comes to the Taliban, the key difference between us is the ease with which you accept all media reports on them as the sacred truth, while I question everything they report based on the countless misreports they have passed along from that region of the world.

I agree that any indiscriminate killing of civilians is deplorable, no matter who carries it out. I include in that suicide bombing, drone missiles, economic embargoes, and crony IMF deals wreaking of economic oppression. I choose to define terrorism myself instead of taking my cue from the world's sole superpower. I humbly suggest you do the same.


ThinkingMuslim said...

> ...I must either vociferously denounce the terrorists or else I'm a secret supporter.

I didn't say that. But I believe this menace of terrorism could have been kept outside the fold of Islam if the community had been more vigilant. We let our guard down and it came in, I would say, even thrived. Given everything we call Islam, this menace should never have found a breeding ground in the house of Islam.

> you have to ask me for my stance on the Taliban,

By failing to be unquivocal on terrorism I think we opened the door for it to come and stay. It's time to shut that door tight. No more "yeah, they're bad, but..." - too many of our young children's lives are at stake. This is not some theoretical issue or some amusing debate, we're talking about lives.

> I guess its my fault that I haven't been able to captivate you

I promise to read your posts on Taliban. Your previous point about lack of curiosity may have more to do with it, my apologies.

> I agree that any indiscriminate killing of civilians is deplorable, no matter who carries it out. I include in that suicide bombing, drone missiles, economic embargoes, and crony IMF deals wreaking of economic oppression

THERE YOU GO AGAIN. Introduce ambiguity. Confuse our children. Not cool.

There will be a time to talk about drone missiles, "smart bombs" and IMF. By equating this with the other stuff, the listening you create is, since so much wrong has been done against Muslims, we are therefore justified in responding through terrorism. I hope but don't expect to be able to get this point across. I didn't think it was so subtle, but it's killing our future.
==============

*That remark is funny on so many levels that I won't even go there. :-)

I always imagined the giraffes as the Hari Krishna's of the animal kingdom - you know, those peace-loving folks in orange togas singing at airports.

These simple animals are strutting around on their long stilt-y legs, minding their own business, peacefully chewing on leaves, looking all dopey and what not.

So you can imagine how disappointed I was when I saw this video:



So violence has even infiltrated the lovable giraffe family?!? The humanity!!!!!

There is a ray of hope here...maybe it's a husband-wife couple duking it out. Notice how in the end, they walk into the sunset together...yep, tell-tale sign of a married couple.

Some things are simply universal.

What? You mean you and your spouse don't bang necks in a clumsy attempt to wrestle the other down when you're arguing? You people are weird.

Recently, I've been having this discussion with a friend on the existence of anti-Semitic sentiments found in the Muslim community.

I'll begin with his points first:

Let us first begin with the proper understanding of the term Anti-Semitism. Basically it's a European phenomenon founded on hatred of Jews solely for their being Jewish. Such sentiments are foreign to the religion of Islam as well as to the historical instances of the Muslim community. Hatred of Jews for their 'Jewish-ness' is nowhere to be found in Islamic history.

Secondly, the more recent trend found in the Muslim community of ill-will towards Jews can be explained by their occupation of the Holy Land and the ensuing oppression of the Palestinian people. Thus, the strong feelings against Jews is not a theological one, but a political one. If the root cause of this hatred were to be addressed, the tension between the two communities would cease to exist and would thus return to the equilibrium that existed for the previous 1400 years.

=======

I countered that while the origins of the term may be as he described, the current-day, common usage has changed and is now come to mean 'any hatred of the Jewish peoples' regardless of the reason. Let us move beyond the etymological roots of the word and focus on the colloquial usage.

As to the root cause being the political tussle between Israelis and Palestinians, how does that explain the constant barrage of hatred towards Jews with regards to their role in the banking sector, control of the media and Hollywood, their conniving role in the American government, and other conspiracy theories. Even if peace were to prevail in the Middle East, the Muslim street would remain abuzz with such nonsensical talk.

Additionally, too many Muslims have used this hatred to twist verses of the Quran and sayings of the Prophet (saw). Where there was never any anti-Semitic sentiment over the first 1400 years of Muslim understanding of the Quran and Sunnah, the past 50 years have introduced such racists ideology such as all Jews are descendants of apes and pigs, they are the killer of prophets, and even the trees and rocks hate the Jews for they will reveal them hiding in the midst of battle (as narrated by our beloved Prophet (saw)).

====

His reply: It is essential that we adhere to the original usage of the term for such hatred of Jews is strictly a Euro-Christian phenomenon. It is an emotion predicated on nothing but the religion of the Jews. The problems of their (Xian) civilization must not be juxtaposed onto our faith community. The ill-will that you (Naeem) speak of does indeed exist, but it cannot be referred to as anti-Semitism. Doing so allows Western commentators to impose this disease onto the Muslim community, which simply has never been the case, past or present.

This sickness of blaming the Jews for various conspiracy theories or hating the Yahud for killing the Palestinians can be called many things, but it must NOT be called anti-Semitism. Muslims must not allow the Christian world to share their collective guilt of hating and oppressing the Jewish people (explicitly founded on their being the killers of Jesus Christ) with the Muslim world.

By so flagrantly accusing the Muslim community of anti-Semitism, you (Naeem) are fanning the flames of the fire begun by the West, who is intent on not only propagating the falsehood that Muslims as a people are anti-Semitical, but that Islam as an ideology is anti-Semitical. And this is the greatest disservice we can do to our very own religion.

Finally, you (Naeem) undermine the significance of the political problem of Israel and Palestine. Muslims the world over have an emotional attachment to that part of the world and to see it so viciously occupied leaves a scar never before seen in our community. I recall Ghandi even having said something to the effect that if the Palestinian problem persists, tensions in the Indian Muslim community will become unbearable. He understood the emotional explosiveness of this issue. Why don't you?

========

I hope I summarized the argument of my friend correctly. If he ever gets the time to read this through and finds my presentation lacking, he is free to chime in with any corrections.

In conclusion, I must agree with his argument against using the term anti-Semitism for it projects a feeling that is simply foreign to the Muslim world. No where in our texts can it be found that Jews are to be hated for simply being Jews. So no matter what ill-will may be found in our community, it must not be called anti-Semitism. Muslims will never be like the Nazis or the KKK.

That being said, we do have a serious problem in our community where too much Jew-bashing takes place. Part of the problem undoubtedly arises from the political situation in Palestine. Part of it comes from our weakened state of mind which leads us to constantly look for conspiracies to explain our failed state. Part of it comes from twisted minds who have twisted teachings of our religion to shed a negative light on the Jewish people.

Those issues must definitely be addressed.

But nowhere can we say that this ill-will comes from anti-Semitic thought in our people or in our religion. That is clearly evident. I hope more Muslims begin to pick up on this nuance, which may be subtle but is very weighty.

There are many essential skills that are slowly fading away into the abyss of the 'old days' that I'm started to get frustrated with all things modern. For example, handwriting skills have basically become a lost art. Kids are learning to text, twitter, and email before they learn the proper form of handwriting.

Fine, you may argue that handwriting is not really that essential.

How many people out there have ever started a fire? Not talking about a fire caused by splashing cooking oil onto the stove while frying eggs, resulting in the kids running for their lives and the wife coming to the rescue (I speak from experience). I'm referring to an actual campfire with logs, matches, and that cool firestarter stuff. Not many, I'm guessing, because there simply is little need nowadays.

Damn you Modernity!

Also, what about the ability to (ahem) attend to your personal needs in an Eastern-style toilet? I'd say that ranks right up there with hunting, starting a fire, and talking to a coconut as skills you need to survive a FedEx plane crash.

Ever since we moved to Saudi Arabia, I can't tell you how many nightmares I've had to endure thanks to my children's misadventures in the flat toilets.

What am I talking about, forget them...I've had too many misadventures MYSELF!

Damn you Modernity!

And let's not forget about eating with your hands. My two older kids make a bigger mess when they eat with their hands than their 18 month old younger sister. Personally, I'm not too bad when it comes to eating with my hands, but I'm nowhere as skilled as my Saudi counterparts. When we get together and eat from a large plate of rice, they'll take a handful, smoothly squeeze it into a small ball, and pop it into their mouths. Then they'll look at me awkwardly contorting my hand and arm to get the rice into my mouth and sympathetically offer me a spoon.

Damn you Modernity!

Hmmm...what other possible reasons can I curse at Modernity?

I've been strongly critical of Obama in past posts (especially of his campaign promises for Hope and Change), so I must maintain balance by applauding him when he does positive.

After years of witnessing Bush deny any wrongdoing on his part, its very refreshing to have a leader stand in front of his nation and say 'I screwed up.' While I will always question the sincerity of career politicians and continuously look for alternative justifications to their altruistic words and deeds, I was delightfully pleased with this sudden burst of humility by a US President.

Good job Obama!

Now please stop wasting time with your stupid stimulus package (which is simply trying to prop up the old economy of consumption, debt, and fat banks) as well as silly issues like executive compensation and deal with the real crisis in the economy and health care.

Oh and while I have your attention, could ya stop senselessly bombing Afghanistan and Pakistan? I can't speak for them, but I'm guessing the locals don't much appreciate US missiles destroying their homes and killing their families.

Not to belabor the point from my previous post, but I wanted to share one more thought on our very telling relationship with groups like the Taliban or Al-Shabab. I'll start by quoting from a Jonathan Lyons piece over at Juan Cole's site:

"Central to this narrative (referring to Huntington's clash of civilization theory) is a series of familiar ideas across the political arena, on the Internet, on talk radio, in the mainstream media, and, all too frequently, in academia. Such notions include: Islam is a religion of violence; ... Muslims are “medieval” and fearful of modernity; Muslims are sexually perverse – either lascivious polygamists, repressive misogynists, or both; and, finally, they are caught up in a jealous rage at the West’s failure to value them or their beliefs.

Today, such assertions still echo: We love liberty, They hate freedom; We are rational, They are not; We are modern, They are medieval; We are good, They are evil."

The West (and Western Muslims who have fallen for their empty rhetoric) needs to constantly prop up and tear down the actions of groups that feed the above stereotypes. It's no coincidence that the exact qualities that Lyons lists above are the qualities that are constantly publicized in media reports demonizing these groups.

They are the Lex Luthor to our Superman. This narrative is so W Bush and we've got to move beyond it. Our analysis must be properly informed and respectfully objective.

For starters, if you want a fresh perspective on the Taliban as they exist in north Pakistan, this Asia Times Online series is a good place to start. The reporter tries to present a balanced view of the situation.

Sadly, too many will find it long and boring. Quick soundbites reporting the closing of girl schools or lashing of criminals are much sexier.

It's time we inject some much-needed perspective into our discussions of groups like the Taliban and Somalia's Al-Shabab. Too many Muslims living in the West have gotten sucked into the efforts to demonize these groups. While I'm not here to defend them, I must clearly state that I don't believe they are evil, as some fellow bloggers have declared them to be.

Sure, these groups are peddling a version of Islam that is foreign to our sensibilities (as reported by Western media) - enforcing the hudood, restricting women's rights, oppressing minorities, etc.

However, it just seems that so many of us are bending over backwards in denouncing these "deviant" groups to appease our compatriots. In either trying to prove our allegiance to liberal, democratic ideals or establishing our credentials in the ongoing war on terror, we're ok with the collateral damage caused by throwing these groups under the bus. All the while conveniently overlooking the societal context in which they came to existence - extreme warlordism, civil war, foreign occupation, rampant crime and rape, and so on.

For all the negative hoopla surrounding these groups, people forget one most essential consideration: they have succeeded where countless others have failed - establishing peace and stability. Western media is quick to focus on the undoubtedly extremist views they impart, but overlooks a more critical benefit that is welcomed by the local population - peace of mind.

My father traveled to Afghanistan back in the 90's as part of a medical support team and the overwhelming sentiment shared by the population was their collective sigh of relief with the safety situation established by the Taliban. After years of war with Russia and the ensuing warlord-based government, the Afghan on the street was finally able to feel some sense of safety and security. Sure, many didn't take kindly to the harsh interpretation of Islamic law, but they found that a small price to pay for a relatively crime-free, stable society.

Exactly the same feelings were expressed by Marian Zeila, chairperson of the Somali Media Women's Association, in this BBC report:

"Sharia law is a part of Islam, it's in the Koran. But it's their interpretation of the law that I disagree with. They are turning Islam into a harsh religion, which I don't believe it actually is...While the transitional government was in charge there was insecurity in Baidoa, they were unable to protect civilians. At least the al-Shabab have restored stability - for the time being."

So before we decide to get on our high horses and offer up our knee-jerk condemnations of these groups for misrepresenting or distorting Islam, let us try and understand the socio-political context of their rise. Or at the very least, as some have suggested, let's simply leave them alone.

I hesitate to write too much about Zionism as too many Muslims use it as a vehicle to transport their anti-Semitic sentiments (which is a very real problem in the Muslim world). However, in this case, I feel the stench from the Zionist propaganda efforts have become too strong to ignore.

Most of you may have heard about the BBC's refusal to air an appeal for humanitarian aid for the Gaza relief effort. And then Sky News (I see them as UK's version of Fox News) needed to get in on the action and decided to follow suit.

This is par for the course as we have seen for many years the old media (print and TV) step to the tune of the Israeli lobby. However, what has really upset me is the way this pressure has migrated to the new media, the Internet.

DIGG is a popular social networking site that allows users to positively 'digg' (or negatively 'bury') a web page, image, or video. There are others like it, such as Reddit and StumbleUpon. All of these sites make use of the internet community to popularize content on the web. So by way of an open vote, links of value are promoted to the front page garnering tens of thousands of views.

So this effort was adopted by a small group of pro-Palestinian supporters who felt that the Israeli propaganda machine could be countered by recruiting fellow supporters to flood these sites with articles and videos promoting their point of view.

MuslimMatters.org, a prominent group blog, spearheaded the effort by sending out regular action-alerts with articles to support. A group in Facebook was created with over 700 members. And so the seed was planted to create a voice for Muslims on the Internet. After all, Israeli supporters have a similar effort with nearly 40,000 members.

(On a side note: Normally, I'm not a strong fan of mimicking the seemingly successful efforts of the Israelis - too many Muslims say 'Look at what the Jews have accomplished' as an argument to replicate their ways. This is an extremely defeatist attitude and Muslims need to create their own identity.

While I do believe that Muslims have serious housecleaning to perform, the battle for hearts and minds in the public sphere must be engaged and the Internet is a new battleground where we can succeed.)

However, no sooner had this effort gained some momentum did the good folks at Digg pull the plug. They banned all diggs for the MuslimMatters blog due to violations of their policies. And they have been extremely rude and blunt in their communications, expressing no desire to discuss or explain their decision. While monstrous efforts such as Giyus.org continue unabated, the newcomer gets the shaft.

Oh well. Such are the ways of bullies.

But all is not lost. 60 Minutes aired an amazing piece sympathetic to the Palestinian perspective. Check it out:

It irks me to no end how Israel carries out its genocidal policies in the shadow of great American political events, using them as smokescreen for their insidious acts.

For example, it's become an indisputable fact that Israel broke the 4-month long truce on November 4, 2008 (US Election Day) when they went into Gaza and killed 6 Palestinians.

And now we have Israel coincidentally halting their 3-week bombing of Gaza on the eve of the great Obama inauguration, like a group of bumbling teenagers cleaning up after their raucous house party before the parents return home. The level of chutzpah that Israel displays in trying to outsmart their American sponsors never ceases to amaze me. And the saddest part is that most Americans fall for it - lock, stock, and barrel.

Of course to anyone who has intimately followed the countless criminal acts of Israel, this is not news. Nonetheless, I felt the need to get it off my chest.

Anyways, let us not forget that despite the ceasefire, the siege on Gaza continues.

Juan Cole presents Top 10 stories of 2008 from the Muslim World.

I really like this new service at MuslimCo.com - they provide streaming access to a host of Muslim TV channels from around the world. (h/t to Mujahideen Ryder)

Amazing Plants. I'm particularly amused by the Orchid flowers that use sexual deception to allure male insects. Amazing how sex is such a powerful tool even in the plant and insect kingdoms!

Not sure why, but I watched this video several times and each time I cracked up even more. I guess I'm very easily amused:

So the latest news coming out of Somalia is that as Ethopian troops are moving out, in-fighting has begun between the moderate Ahlus Sunna wal Jamaat and the more extreme Al-Shabab. Al-Shabab is accusing the Ahlus Sunna group of being warlords, while the Ahlus Sunna accuses Al-Shabab of being foreign fighters sympathizing with Al-Qaeda.

And then there are unsubstantiated reports that the UIC (Islamic Courts) are in battle with the Shabab.

Eerily similar to what happened in Afghanistan after Russia pulled out.

Here we go again. Sigh.

It's quite confusing trying to sort out fact from fiction, truth from propaganda, but my understanding is that most Somalis are moderates with links to Sufism, so they aren't very welcoming of the firebrand version of Islam enforced by Al-Shabab. I recently saw a lengthy interview on Al-Jazeera with one of their leaders and while he seemed sincere, humble, and committed to Islam, he was parroting the Al-Qaeda sales pitch which definitely won't go over well with many Somalis.

But let us look at the bigger picture and agree that such militant movements are really incapable in achieving the real goal of Shariah. The level of adherence to the laws of Allah (swt) in the societal level are merely a reflection of the adherence to those laws on a personal level. The Shariah can never be implemented through the barrel of a gun or the casting of a ballot - it must come via the transformation of the hearts.

I wrote about this before:

And therefore, as a blessing to us (as well as the rest of world), Allah (swt) has placed a political straitjacket on the Ummah – preventing it from tasting any political power so as to prevent it from causing any harm unto others or to itself.

As a blessing to us (and the rest of world), we will continue to see failed political/military efforts for establishing Muslim states or electing Muslim leaders (Algeria, Sudan, Somalia, Afghanistan, Hamas, Anwar Ibrahim).

Allah (swt) will either send the Americans or a military junta or the Ethiopians or the Israelis or even a 23-year-old political aide, but the results will be the same – no power for the Muslims.

We simply are not ready for the immensely grave responsibility of being representatives of the Most High (khalifat-Allah).

As I see it, I refuse to place a gun in my child's hands. Similarly, Allah (swt) has refused to place power in the Ummah's hands.

That's why Islamic political parties (as found in Turkey, Malaysia, Palestine) will never succeed. Nor will militant groups (as found in Somalia and Afghanistan). Sure they may bring about short-term relief in repelling occupying forces, but they will never succeed in the long-term.

Not until the hearts of the masses begin to respect the words of Allah (swt) and the practice of His beloved Prophet (saw).

Some idiot recently wrote about needing to choose action over emotion in these trying times. What he so conveniently forgot was the more fundamental role played by faith.

Action is all good and well, especially when it replaces vacuous emotion. However, neither can carry a stick to the ever-essential faith. Our concrete faith in our Creator must be established before any action is carried out or emotion is expressed.

This faith comes from silencing the all-too-pervasive Logic that has taken control. Logic dictates that actionable steps are the sole means to achieving change. Logic dictates that power is needed to gain respect. Logic dictates that literacy rates, GDP, Internet access, and other silly statistics are measurements of healthy, successful societies. Logic dictates and we submit.

We've become enslaved to our logic. Everything must fall into neatly laid out cause-and-effect.

Where was the logic in Musa (AS) striking the raging sea with his measly staff with the army of Pharaoh in hot pursuit?

Where was the logic in Maryam (AS), suffering the pangs of delivering Isa (AS), shaking the stout palm tree in hopes of dates falling?

Where was the logic in 313 poorly armed foot soldiers facing a heavily armed cavalry of 1000 in the valley of Badr?

Those historic actions were carried out with an unshakable trust and belief in the power of the One who creates and controls cause-and-effect.

So now our new-found god of Logic is dictating that we need a strategy to pull ourselves out of our centuries-long stagnation. This includes education, political activism, social work, economic empowerment, and so on.

All important and invaluable steps, no doubt. However, the foundation of certain faith (Yaqin) must come first. Slaying the idols of logic and cause-and-effect must come first.

We must have that undying faith that adherence to the Sunnah is more critical to success than any college degree or any lobby group. We must exude certainty that our Creator is the sole source of victory, not military force or political acumen.

Until we do, the pain and suffering will continue.

I just listened to an amazing lecture by Imam Zaid Shakir on the appropriate response to the current crisis in Gaza.

I've incorporated much from his talk with some thoughts of mine:

Many are getting very emotional over this deservedly charged issue. Emotion is a commodity not very scarce in the Muslim peoples.

We responded with emotion when Lebanon was invaded by Israel in 1978 and 1982. And we went back to our lives.

We responded with emotion and anger when Palestinians were slaughtered in the first Intifada of the late 80's. And we went back to our lives.

We responded with anger when Sharon marched into the sanctified grounds of Al-Aqsa, leading to the second Intifada in 2000. And we went back to our lives.

What we failed to do in each instance, was to direct that emotion and energy towards constructive change. Social change. Political change. Spiritual Change. Economic Change.

Imam Zaid pointed to the massive protests and rallies that take place in the wake of such tragedies and asked if we've ever seen the pro-Zionist camp at our rallies. They may number 20-30 at most. Reason being that their core supporters are busy in ensuring that the current dynamics remain in their favor.

I'm sick and tired of these stupid rallies that serve more to appease the guilt of the protesters than to aid the cause of the oppressed.

Our response must not be extra prayer for a few nights or weeks, but to institute that into our daily lives. It must not be a check of $500 in support of Gaza, but rather sponsoring an orphanage or a school (like Zaytuna College for which Imam Zaid was raising funds) or organizations like CAIR.

Our response must not be passive crying and wailing, but an active commitment to becoming better human beings - with our relatives, with our friends, with our neighbors, with total strangers.

And until that happens, the One who has beset us with these trials and tribulations will continue to do so.

I think it's time we come to that harsh realization that WE are the cause for the suffering in Gaza, in Iraq, in Somalia, in Congo, and so on. It is due to OUR failings that so many are in pain.

So let us for once put aside the short-lived emotions and work on long-term actionable steps that we can take as individuals, families, and communities.

This has got to be a joke. There is no way Israel would be so sinister and conniving as to sign a crooked natural gas deal worth $4 billion while bombing away at Gaza. There is just no way this story can be true. Please tell me Israel and BG are just not that stupid.

read more | digg story

Global Research has a more in-depth article on this topic here. Very interesting read.

In the midst of this all-out media and web blitz on the Gaza crisis, I'm feeling a bit confused. While my outrage at the tragic events is self-explanatory, I have an additional nagging feeling - a feeling that I'm being manipulated emotionally. And not just me, but the whole lot of us.

I'm incapable of putting into words the horror of what's going on in Gaza. It's truly maddening. But then again, how is the suffering there any more worthier of our attention than the horrors in Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Congo, Darfur, and so on?

How come Al-Jazeera English is broadcasting non-stop from Israel, Palestine, and Egypt with what seems like their entire crew of reporters, while nary a whisper is coming from the other hot spots around the world? Even when the humanitarian crisis in DR Congo was the main news story, they only had one or two reporters assigned to it.

The same goes for CNN International and BBC News.

If it's a pro-Israel bias (which CNN and BBC may be accused of), then one would assume that less coverage of the one-sided affair would be better for the Israeli cause. Not really sure what their agenda is...

I'm actually more upset with the likes of Al-Jazeera. Are they giving it such serious airtime because it's the Holy Land? Or maybe because it's Jews massacring Muslims?

Don't get me wrong. I love Al-Jazeera English for the amazing coverage of stories that never get the light of day in the rest of the media world, especially their unparalleled reporting from South America and Africa.

I'm just not comfortable with the extreme media coverage being given to this issue. Something just doesn't feel natural. I feel like I'm being agitated and poked and prodded to become angry, hopeless, enraged, frustrated, heartbroken, helpless, maddened.

And my other beef is with us, for the gluttony in coverage has brought about a gluttony in reaction. Again, don't get me wrong - it's very heartening to see all these efforts taking place in support of Palestine - fundraising, protests, boycotts, etc. But doesn't it seem like we're simply pandering to the media and its high level of coverage? I feel we've become a Pavlovian people who upon hearing the ringing of the media's bell immediately begin salivating with cries of rage and calls to action.

Am I the only one thinking this?

Celebrating the REAL best of the Muslim blogworldosphere!

Yeah, yeah, so the 'Hey look at us, we're the Brass Crescent poo poo Awards' folks finally gave out their annual awards to the best Muslim bloggers. Or at least that's what someone told me. You see, I just wasn't paying attention this year and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact I wasn't nominated.

Last year the great minds at BCppA considered my blog worthy of one of their poo poo awards. I, on the other hand, felt one was not enough. I made what I felt to be a convincing case that my blog ought to have been considered for every category. Oddly enough, they didn't see things my way.

No problem. I figured they'd see the error of their ways and eventually come around. So 12 months and hundreds of posts later, you can guess my sheer surprise when I not only failed to get nominated for every single category, but didn't even garner one measly nomination.

No worries (that's Australian for no problem, don't hate me cause I'm multilingual), I was prepared for this most unfortunate turn of events.

This past weekend, I convened the greatest minds of the Muslim blogging world for the sole purpose of nominating blogs for the first annual Gold Star Awards - the way I see it, Gold is better than Brass and a Star is bigger and brighter than a puny little Crescent (bitter? who me? pshawwwright).

Since we're on the topic of that other award whose name we shall no more mention (rhymes with Bass Present), I have it on high authority (my 10-yr old daughter is taking French) that Crescent is in fact English for a French delicacy called the Croissant (the T is silent - so she tells me). So I'm not sure who the marketing people the good folks at that other Muslim blog award (rhymes with Crass Peasant) hired, but they may want to look for a new title. I mean c'mon people, what kind of an award is a croissant?? Do you need MY brain to realize that croissants don't make for good awards?!

Did I mention that I'm not bitter or anything? 'Cuz you know, I'm not. Really.

Anyways, our crack team studied and evaluated over 10,000,000 Muslim blogs with a standard unmatched in the entire blogging world. We'd like to thank all the participants for taking part - in our eyes, you are ALL winners (some less than others).

We chose to present the awards without opening it up for voting - basically, you people simply aren't smart enough. That's why we hired a group of recently laid-off Yahoo! engineers who devised a fool-proof algorithm. We're confident you all will be pleased with the results.

So every winner of the Gold Star Award will receive an original Gold Star made of 24-carrots. We simply ask the proud winners to send us a self-addressed stamped envelope to winners@gsa.com and we'll take care of the rest. No need to thank us. The looks on your face will be enough reward for us. And of course, the winners will have the special rights to proudly display this award logo on their blogs for all of 2009*:

Be proud, you winners are part of a select few.

Without any further delay, here are your winners for the 2008 Gold Star Awards:

====================

Best Actor Award - Dedicated to the blogger best acting like a real blogger.

Winner: MrEspy - Bro, you haven't posted regularly since August. What does a sick dog, a crying baby, and your blog have in common? They all need to be put to sleep! (Uhm, well, the sick dog might just need to see a vet and the crying baby may have gas, but regardless...your Espyisms blog needs to be put down)

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Most Eco-friendly Blog - Celebrating the bloggers who have consciously chosen a black background for the sole purpose of saving energy.

Winner: Umar Lee - who woulda guessed that the tough talking, uber-manly, gun-reaching Umar was actually a closet treehugger?! (Update: It seems that Umar has changed his background to white. Somehow he must have gotten a leaked copy of the Gold Star awards and made this change to embarrass and spite us. We will not be intimidated. Truth be told, the results of the annual Gold Star awards are the third most coveted item on the web, trailing only pics of Bristol Palin's baby and Windows 7)

Updated Winner: MrEspy - hey, eventhough his blog is garbage, at least it's environmentally friendly garbage.

====================

Freddie Kruger Award - To the blogger best able to conjure up the most frightening images.

Winner: Achelois - Lice-filled eyebrows and ungroomed armpits?! One year on and I still get chills when I see a desi Auntie walk into a room. Bonus points for her freaky self-portrait on the blog header - she looks like some statue. Suroor, I've got some cream that'll really soften up that rough skin!

====================

The George W Bush Blogging award - To the blogger with the most confusing blog posts.

Winner: Dunner - For this series of mind-numbing posts relating to Drum Corps ranking. Are they like the folks from the Peace Corps, but with drums? And they have rankings?!

And what's with all those Bedtime Music posts? Why are you constantly trying to put me to sleep? Listen bro, if I wanted to fall asleep, I'd go over to MuslimMatters and read Amad's exposition on the Miller-Modigliani Theorem as it relates to Islamic Finance.

====================

The Pakistani Stud award - For the most oxymoronic blog. Like a wise man once told me, 'If you wish to be a moron, better to be of the Oxy variety than the Balti'. (Natives of Baltimore are often lovingly referred to as Baltimorons, at least that's what my friends told me when I walked in on their conversation talking about me.)

Winner: aThinkingMuslim - what does a unicorn, a US president that will bring real change, and a thinking Muslim have in common? They're all figments of our imagination. (Hey yeah folks, I'll be here all week!)

====================

Best Muslim blog dedicated to an extinct Empire - For the blog that immediately comes to mind when you hear Devlet-i Âliye-yi Osmâniyye (Lofty Ottoman State)

Winner: Yursil - for every other post dedicated to the Ottoman Empire. I mean, for God's sake, he's even got a post about some computer software that generates Ottoman music. Hey, I got an idea, how about a computer program that makes you stop pretending to be a Turk and start acting like the ABCD you really are?!

Fun Fact #1: Did you know that if you google Ottoman and Yursil, our good friend's blog comes up #1? Fun Fact #2: They actually have an entry at Wikipedia dedicated to explaining the term ABCD. Reason #3,622 why I love Wikipedia!

====================

The Petticoat Junction Award - In memory of this classic black and white TV show that I actually enjoyed when I was a kid, this award goes to the blogger who painfully reminds me of my old age.

Winner: MuslimKid - Anyone who writes on the stresses of Sunday School and pressures of puppy love makes me feel very old. Really very old.

====================

The Wilford Brimley Award - For the blogger who thankfully reminds me 'at least I'm not as old as THAT dude'. You'll note that no women bloggers were included in this category. There are some sacred grounds that one simply cannot venture into.

Winner: Darvish - Ya Haqq!
Runner-up: Dunner - Anyone who...Wait a sec, the dude just had his first child. My oldest (of three) is 10. Maybe he should be in the previous category?!

====================

The 2008 Detroit Lions Award (for the international audience who have no clue who the Lions are, this award is called the Saudi Arabia-in-every-FIFA-World-Cup Award) - In celebration of teams that can never win, this award goes to the blogger who always loses.

Winner: Captain Chaos - For his various posts detailing the innovative ways he finds to lose an argument to his wife. For the love of God, win an argument man! You'd think with a WWF name like Captain Chaos, the brother would pull some superfly-Snuka move and win just once.

Runner-up: Achelois - For getting nominated three times in the past two years for that other blogging award (rhymes with Fast Pheasant) and having nothing to show for it. Let's setup a cage match with Achelois and Captain Chaos...I'd pay top dollar to find out who the biggest loser is. We could sell exclusive broadcast rights to HalalTube. Tell me I'm not the only one thinking this...

====================

Best Blog by a Sister from New Orleans living in Dubai - Because we noticed a blatant gender bias in the awards, we added this token category to appease our female constituency. Please send all notes of appreciation to my personal email femlib4ever@gmail.com.

Winner: Izzy Mo - Good job sister. Keep up the good work being the best New Orleansian blogging sister living in Dubai. I haven't tried it, but I bet if you google New Orleans, Dubai, Izzy, and Blog, you'll be #1. Correct that, I just tried and you've got the top 5 results!! No small feat I tell ya. Bask in your sunlight. Muslimah+New Orleans+Dubai+Blogging=EPIC WIN of the Gold Star variety.

====================

The Miss Spelling Award - Dedicated to the blogger who forgot to spellcheck the title of his blog.

Winner: Mujahideen Ryder - I’ll admit I’m no spelling bee champ, but I'm guessing it's spelled Rider. Either that or you must have some sort of endorsement deal with the moving truck company. We'll cut you some slack since I hear you're a half Baltimoron.

====================

Ted Haggard Award - To the blogger who constantly denounces an oppressed minority while secretly harboring traits of said minority.

Winner: Sophister - for all his FOB jokes, me thinks our good friend is trying to cover up for some FOB-related deficiency. Anyone ever hear the dude speak?? Yeah, me neither. Sophister, clear your name by sending me an audio clip of you saying 'I love my wife's volkswagon, Yaar'.

====================

Favorite Blogging Stage Name - To the blogger who came up with the most imaginative blogging name.

For the first time ever in the long history of the Gold Star Awards, we have an unprecedented tie in this category.

Winner: Aziz Poonawalla. Very cool name you got there bro, but if I had to make one up, I woulda gone with Bloggerwalla. Just makes more sense. Kinda like a dentist renaming himself Dr. Dekay or Les Plack or a comedian named Joe Kerr.

Winner: Marc Manley. Perfect screen name for nikaah.com, but I can see its utility in the blogging world as well. After all, you just got married, no? To a blogging sister no less!

====================

Get-a-Real-Job award - Celebrating the blogger with the most free time on his hand.

Is there any doubt who the undisputed champion is? :-)

Have a great 1430/2009 everyone!

====================

*Please refrain from displaying our trademarked logo beyond 2009. Do not force us to pursue legal means. We will prosecute to the furthest extent of the law.

So the Arab League has convened an "emergency meeting" to address the Israeli strikes on Gaza while the UN Security Council is debating a draft resolution demanding a cease-fire.

Nothing new there. These pompous, self-appointed organizations have to go through the motions to feign interest and maybe even outrage at the suffering in Gaza.

The new twist comes from the protesting masses who have traditionally targeted Israel and America but are now directing some of their anger towards their own leaders. I saw in Al-Jazeera some Egyptian lady yelling at the top of her lungs, with her face turning red, "Where are our Arab Leaders???"

And that is truly unfortunate.

Why are we so good at deflecting blame and looking for a scapegoat to our problems?

I previously wrote about this terribly ugly trait we have embodied as a defeated Ummah:

"And then we have the audacity to claim that the problem lies with our leaders, as if the mere act of replacing them will remove the infestation within us. It will not. We claim that if we cut off the head of the snake it will die. It will not.

Because our leaders are not like the head of the snake. They are more like the tail of the lizard. Cut off the tail and another will grow. More importantly, the lizard will always remain. We the masses are the lizard.

We blame them for controlling us with their iron fists. We blame the West for supporting them with their political backing. We blame the IMF and the World Bank for financing them. We blame and we blame.

But we never blame ourselves for failing to hold them accountable. And we never blame ourselves for failing to hold *ourselves* accountable.

We have become lizards."

Fellow blogger Izzy Mo said it well in her recent post:

"“Verily, God does not change the condition of a people until they change themselves.”

Until we get our act together, we will continue to be in this pathetic state."

How to address our pathetic state? Let's start with these time-tested suggestions.

With everyone focusing on the death and suffering of the Palestinians, we have unfairly forgotten the plight of the Israeli citizens. But thankfully, God has blessed us with journalistic flag bearers such as the Washington Post, who have chosen to highlight the suffering of the 'other side'.

Why are we being inundated with horrific body counts and gruesome images of Palestinians while the innocent citizens, such as the dear Mrs. Schwartz who was forced to cancel her Hanukkah party due to the threat of rocket attacks, are being ignored??

"She had planned a Hanukkah party on Saturday for the children in the kibbutz. But the Israeli military issued an order for all residents to stay inside their homes. So she had to cancel the party. "I feel bad. You have to explain to the kids why you can't live a normal life," she said. "Every day I walk five kilometers around the kibbutz," she added. "Today, I didn't. I was scared.""

God bless the Washington Post for having the guts to publish her grueling side of the story. Where is the humanity when a 48-yr old mother of four is forced to cancel her daily 5-km walk????

And that's not it folks. Mrs. Schwartz pointed to proof that the Palestinians are heathens who care nothing for peace:

"Schwartz pointed at a crater from a rocket that landed near the kibbutz's office and tore a hole in the sidewalk."

How can the citizens of Israel be expected to walk on the streets with holes riddling their sidewalks?? How inhumane!

And let's not forget poor Mr. Langere, who is suffering the trauma of his community garden gone to waste:

"Langere lamented as he sat outside his white house looking at the weeds and mud patches in the communal area. "It used to be very nice. Now, it is a catastrophe. Now, you see no grass, no birds.""

No grass? No birds? Such a "catastrophe" must not go unpunished!

"From here, we send a blessing to the Israeli government and the soldiers to strengthen themselves and continue what they are doing to bring peace in the area so that we can go back to our lives," the city's mayor, Yehiel Zohar,"

Preach Mayor! May God give them the strength to ensure that the grass and the birds returns and Mrs. Schwartz can resume her daily walks.

No matter what the cost.

While our collective disgust with the cowardly air attacks on Gaza is warranted (can you say shooting fish in a barrel?), let's not forget that our brethren in Gaza had been suffering for long before these terrorist attacks. Ali Abunimah says it well:

"But today's horrific attacks mark only a change in Israel's method of killing Palestinians recently. In recent months they died mostly silent deaths, the elderly and sick especially, deprived of food and necessary medicine by the two year-old Israeli blockade calculated and intended to cause suffering and deprivation to 1.5 million Palestinians, the vast majority refugees and children, caged into the Gaza Strip. In Gaza, Palestinians died silently, for want of basic medications: insulin, cancer treatment, products for dialysis prohibited from reaching them by Israel."

Read the entire article and get a better understanding of the Israeli understanding of a truce:

"Under an Israeli-style truce, Palestinians have the right to remain silent while Israel starves them, kills them and continues to violently colonize their land."

In reality, Israel has never wanted real peace. Their existence is based on a perpetual state of conflict. That's why whenever a ceasefire or a lull in the tension lasts too long, they'll agitate the Palestinians by carrying out an assassination of a local leader or some other unprovoked act of stupidity. The political entity of Israel needs to justify its settlement expansions, oppressive policies, tight control of borders, and so on all in the name of security - and that can only be accomplished with a backdrop of violence and mayhem.

Frustration is abound all over. Let us all focus our energies back to our Creator and pray for His Mercy to descend on those who wish for nothing but a peaceful life in which they can worship Him properly.

I've written on this before (here and here), but its worth repeating over and over again: American-style consumerism is a dangerous virus that is dragging the entire world down with them. The current financial crisis is merely the latest manifestation of the sickness. This article sums up the dilemma quite well - the pursuit of happiness has been replaced with the pursuit of comfort, the comfort supplied by gadgets and goods.

It's very interesting how he compares the Hajj stampedes to the recent stampede at Wal-Mart that killed one and injured several others. The religion of consumerism is no different than other religions, even celebrating its very own holidays (Black Friday).

One noteworthy difference is that extremism is much more rampant in the religion of the free market than other traditional religions.

However, the more crucial difference between the two, religion and consumerism, is that the latter simply can never provide true happiness. Goods need to constantly be replenished with newer goods:

"A consumer economy only works if consumption of goods provides only temporary pleasure. That is, if happiness is infinitely deferred, so that buyers continue to buy more and more goods and services. By definition, the consumer can never be satisfied, at rest or happy. Which means she will always feel lacking. The pursuit of this sort of happiness creates a vicious circle of growing anxiety and dissatisfaction."

He concludes by hitting the nail on the head when he describes the sheer shallowness propagated by the preachers of consumerism with the Seinfeld analogy:

"We are like the 30-something characters in Seinfeld, who know they are immature, who know they are avoiding the responsibility of building meaningful relationships and of leading meaningful lives - and who don't really care."

On a related not, I was a bit perturbed by the always entertaining Haleem who recently made a comment on the sad life suffered by villagers back in his home country of Bangladesh:

"Anything happens in the village the whole village will gather to watch. Seriously. They have no life, poor people"

That overly simple life that some may look down upon is no worse than the exciting, happening life we are mired in.

This is truly genius. How come no one has ever pointed this out to me before?

In fact, from now on I'm travelling with a matchbox as a kind courtesy to my lovely hosts. And yes, I *am* a very thoughtful guy, thank you very much.

So how about everyone jump on board this train before it passes them by and begin placing matchboxes in their bathrooms?

As for you desis who insist on cooking with lots of ghee and curry spices, how about placing TWO boxes under your ceramic thrones, mmkay? Or better yet, how about those emergency flare thingies...some of you brothaz could definitely benefit from those bad boys. Or maybe a flare gun. OK, I'm getting carried away, I'll end now.

1. Right when you thought it wasn't humanly possible for Bush to provide more fodder for his campaign to become the single most clueless person in the history of mankind, he gives this interview:

"I am the very last President not to really have to worry about YouTube" while campaigning for the White House, President Bush told RealClearPolitics in an exclusive Oval Office interview last week,..."The 'gotcha' moments in my campaign in the past were few and far between," the President recalled, noting that with the advent of YouTube candidates have to be "really careful" what they say or "you're liable to see yourself on the Internet, along with 20 million other people."

Thank God there aren't any YouTube vids featuring any of your 'gotcha' moments. Yeah, you really lucked out there buddy!

2. John Kerry was recently visiting Pakistan and when talking about the group allegedly behind the Mumbai attacks, made this telling declaration:

"The country stands before a "moment of change in people's attitudes and thinking" toward militants, Sen. John Kerry said Tuesday in Islamabad.

Pakistan must see that Lashkar-e-Taiba has "morphed into a more al-Qaida-esque and radicalized entity" that is damaging the country's interests, said Kerry, incoming chairman of the powerful Senate Foreign Relations Committee."

He went on to denounce Pakistan for its role in creating the militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba, calling on the nation to cease using militant groups as foreign policy tools.

Pot meet Kettle.

And to think, he was able to say it with a straight face, fully cognizant of the US role in supporting shadowy militant proxies the world over.

Al-Qaida-esque, you say? I wonder who was the prime supporter of *that* militant group in the 80's?

When will the US stop trekking all over the world, lecturing the natives against practices longtime established in their own foreign policies?

3. I never got around to commenting on this when it was in the headlines, but did you all laugh as much as I did when reading about the CEOs of the Big Three (GM, Ford, Chrysler) pledging to work for $1 a year??!

What a bunch of phony insincere rascals!

I wonder how many of the public were duped by this 'magnanimous' gesture? While they may cut their annual salary down to $1, they'll be sure to cash in with their stock options, bonuses, and special executive incentives.

Check out this Slate article exposing these criminals. Although it was written back in 2003 about the dot com CEOs, the same con game lives on in 2008.

4. Did you all pick up on the game of semantics being played with the withdrawal of American forces from Iraq? In order to maintain his campaign promise of withdrawing all US forces within 16 months, Obama and his administration are creating a difference between 'combat' troops and 'support' troops.

So any troops that will remain in Iraq after 16 months will cease to be combat troops - they'll magically transform into 'support' troops - sorta like those AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) support groups where they all sit in circles and talk about their difficulties.

Not even president yet and you're already breaking campaign promises. Real smooth Obama...real smooth.

Read it regularly.

Read it so often that when a friend calls you up out of the blue and asks you when was the last time you read the Quran, your answer doesn't embarrass you.

In this short yet comprehensive interview with Wayne Madsen, he provides an excellent 5min summary on the major players involved in the Congo crisis. Plus he provides this little tidbit:

"It's much easier to loot a country when it has a destabilized government and various warring factions. You don't have to deal with one central government - you can deal with whatever warlord is controlling whatever diamond or gold mine you're trying to exploit."

That's exactly what I wrote in a previous post where I detailed the roots of the war in Congo.

BTW, be sure to bookmark the Real News Network. They've got amazing news reports with perspectives you'll never find in the MSM.

Check out these links:

Here's a new blog that I found has some interesting views: A Thinking Muslim. While I may disagree with much he says, I think its always important to maintain a dialogue with those who hold contrasting views.

Marc writes an interesting post calling out those amongst us who are constantly criticizing the Muslim community for its lack of manhood (as narrowly defined by them). While I can empathize with those calling for Muslim men to start acting more like men, Marc does make a valid point that the Ummah clearly has room for variations in the way we we implement 'manhood'.

Sr. Sidra at Healing Heart has a nice post featuring a tafseer of sorts on the famous song "Row, row, row your boat". Very interesting Islamic spin on this childhood favorite.

Here is an amazingly on-point article discussing the top 3 reasons why marriages fail for men. His first point is so absolutely true - I don't even know what his other two points were. It's ALL about the nafs people. As he mentioned in the article, you MUST lay down your nafs to let it get stepped on by your wife. I just can't imagine that a loving relationship is possible without that element of forced humility.

BTW, I don't think this applies to most women, since by their very nature, they are always giving in and sacrificing for the good of the family.

And one last link for some fun. Check out this audio illusion called the Virtual Haircut. It's a bit dated (I heard it last year), but maybe some folks haven't heard it yet. Be sure to plug in your headphones (the illusion is greatly diminished with speakers) and make sure it's silent in the room. Let's see if you can go through the entire audio without laughing out loud! :-)

*Check out this site for more cool Holophonic sounds.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse in Somalia...

1. The US is trying to push through a UN resolution allowing any nation fighting piracy to "take all necessary measures ashore in Somalia, including in its airspace". This would make Somalia officially a no-holds-barred, full-time war zone - as if it wasn't already.

2. BBC is reporting that more than 80% of Somalia's forces (almost 15,000 officers and soldiers) have deserted their posts and almost 70% of the funding for the government's security budget has disappeared amidst major corruption.

3. And in the weirdest twist of all, according to CNN more than a dozen Somali-American youth have returned to their home of origin to take part in the war. Although their plans are shrouded in mystery, they were most likely convinced to go back and partake in the jihad on the side of the Islamic Courts against the warlords and the Ethiopian occupiers.

Not sure what to make of this last bit of news. While I fully support the struggle of the Islamic Courts in trying to bring a semblance of peace and security to their war-torn nation, I'm not sure it's the wisest of tactics for American youth to go there to fight. Their energy and exuberance could have been channeled so much more productively if they had stayed in the US and actively participated in their local communities. Surely there is no dearth of work on the local front.

But on the other hand, I can see where that logic may lead us down the slippery slope of lazily justifying our lethargy when it comes to taking action. After all, if Somalia is not a proper arena for real Jihad against oppression and injustice, then what is?

What happened to the days when armies were mobilized from one side of the Muslim world in order to redress an injustice carried out on the other side of the Muslim world?

In these confusing times, may Allah (swt) guide us all to what is best!

I am very much enamored by the palm tree as there is so much to learn from it. The little amount of water that it needs to subsist is an important lesson for all of us, in this day and age of extreme consumption.

Additionally, I've seen enormous palm trees being transported on the back of large 18-wheeler trucks, revealing how their roots never go too deep into the soil - teaching us to also never entrench ourselves too deep into this world.

But most amazing of all is the way the palm tree dies. Oh, how I wish to die in a similar state!

When they die, most other trees remain erect and upright. However, I was truly taken aback when I saw how the palm tree dies in a form of bowing or even prostration. I pray I am able to meet my Lord in such a state of submission.









Let us strive to live in a state of dhikr so we can die in a state of dhikr!

We all know the history of the CIA in Afghanistan during the 80's. We all know how they trained, funded, and armed the Afghan mujahideen against the Russian occupiers. We all know how America had little humanitarian concern for the Afghan well-being, but rather used them as pawns in the Cold War.

So does it surprise us when we look at Darfur as another playing field in this on-going war of international politics. The venue has shifted and the enemy is different, but the game is the same. Instead of Afghanistan, it's now Sudan. Instead of Russia, it's now China. Instead of America, it's...oh wait...that's the same.

You see, while Sudan may not mean so much to America, it's a major business partner with China. This pesky relationship is built on massive infrastructure construction projects, huge military contracts, and of course oil. China is eyeing Sudan as a primary source of energy to source its economic growth.

That being said, is it beyond the scope of reason that the rebel groups (Sudan Liberation Army, Justice and Equality Movement*, and others) are being instigated by outside forces for the purpose of destabilizing Sudan. Has not America supported 'rebel groups' across Central America and South America in the past, turning a blind eye to the ensuing devastation, so long as her own interests were served? Why would Darfur be any different?

With the continuing genocide taking place in Darfur, the UN has attempted a handful of times to enact economic sanctions, with China calling upon its veto power to ensure the sanctions remain only on paper. After all, a Sudan handcuffed by economic sanctions would be a crippling blow to China.

I alluded to a similar strategy taking place in DR Congo, where outside forces are undoubtedly playing a major role in sustaining an atmosphere of instability. Only difference being that while DR Congo is a financially-motivated war (reaping the profits from subterranean natural resources), the Darfur crisis is a geopolitically-motivated war (hamstringing the growing Chinese threat).

I'm not defending any of the atrocities carried out in Sudan nor am I absolving China for their role in arming the Sudanese government. I'm simply saying there is much more to this crisis than many care to know. It's so much easier to create a good-v-evil campaign with Sudan and China playing the bad guys and George Clooney and America playing the good guys. But the reality is never so black and white.

So let's stop with the overly simplistic presentation of the Darfur crisis as some ragtag rebels and freedom fighters versus evil 'Arab' Janjaweed militias and the Sudanese government, and let's look at it with a more critical eye, focusing on political interests and international alliances.

*It's worth noting that the rebel group JEM has attacked multiple China-run oil facilities in Sudan in recent years.

The nominations for this years Brass Crescent Awards are out...do check them out.

Fittingly, yours truly is not among the finalists, as it's simply not possible to categorize my astounding writing skills. Just not possible folks.

But I will go out on a ledge here and categorically declare that if there existed a category for best Muslim blog by an American-Muslim of Pakistani descent, living in Riyadh, with wife and three kids, one named Humza - I would most definitely win.

I think.