Naeem's Blog

“No Problem. Consider it done.”

And with these seemingly innocuous words, my misadventure began.

My brother-in-law (BIL) back in the states needed money transferred to a hotel agent in Jeddah for Ramadan reservations he had made. Seeing that I have a local bank account in Saudi, my BIL figured it easier and quicker for me to do it.

I naively assumed the same.

When he asked, I was preparing to leave for Pakistan the following night. No big deal, I thought, I’ll make the transfer from home via my Internet banking account.

And so the problems began:

1. It took me an hour to get online that night. No DSL over here on our compund, I connect using my cell phone network.

2. Once I connected, although I was able to get to my bank’s site, Gmail refused to load. I needed the hotel agent’s bank account info which was in an email sent by BIL.

3. After another 30 minutes of failing to load Gmail, I logged onto Gmail using my cellphone. Oh yeah! Me da man! I pulled down the bank account info and logged back onto my bank’s site using my PC.

4. However, my stupid bank doesn’t allow transfer of funds to new beneficiaries until a 24-hour period has passed. Shoot! Gonna have to finish this up in Pakistan tomorrow. No problemo, they have web access over there.

5. Once I settled down in Pakistan (outside Gujrat, between the city and the villages), I found out my cousin’s laptop wasn’t working. However, they had an older laptop that’s slow as molasses, but good enough to work.

6. First attempt at logging on to Web went smoothly, but I accidentally pulled the power cable and the laptop powered off. When I tried to reconnect to the ISP, the username and password wasn’t authenticating. We called their helpdesk, they said the Gujrat area is going through technical problems. Odd, cause I was just able to connect 5 minutes ago right before I lost power.

7. We went to my father’s clinic right outside the house to try his desktop PC. We logged on fine to the same ISP using different username/password – so much for their technical problems. Now, I had to install some software (MS Java and special bank certificate) to access my account info. Dial-up kept disconnecting, but after an hour or so, PC was setup and connected to my bank.

8. However, now my bank username and password weren’t working. Subhan’Allah. I’m starting to think this simply is not meant to be.

9. I called my bank’s support in Saudi and over a phone connection that dropped two or three times, they suggested some changes. When I settled down in front of the PC, I took a deep breath of frustration, having exhausted over three hours in this effort, and proceeded to make the changes. Bam! Electricity goes out. Loadshedding! #$%^!&*

10. It was 9:30pm, time for Isha so I called it a night. Knowing that he required the funds by today (Wednesday), I made a phone call to the hotel agent and promised him that I WILL make the transfer the following morning, rest assured.

11. Following morning, I got onto PC and noticed some strange behavior (that I had missed the previous night). When I logged on to the internet, lots of data was being uploaded before I even opened my browser. I looked at the processes running in the background and I noticed winlogon.exe using over 400MB of memory. Tell-tale signs of a virus. Just great!

12. Deciding that I’m not getting onto my bank with a virus on the PC, I asked my dad’s assistant to get some anti-virus software. No problem, he says. Will do so in the afternoon, after work.

13. At 3pm, he brought two CD’s with all sorts of utilities, including good ‘ol McAfee. I installed and ran the anti-virus program. It cleaned all sorts of viruses. Cool, I think, let’s get this show on the road. When I tried to connect to the Internet, I got a series of unending Dr. Watson errors. When I tried to open my browser, Windows crashed. I restarted Windows, nothing. The combination of the virus and the AV software screwed up XP.

14. But hey, I still have my cousin’s old laptop. I sent the assistant to get a new ISP card (since the problem with that laptop was wrong username/password) while I ran to get the laptop. When I powered it on, Windows XP was locked out due to expiration of the activation period. Asked my cousin and he says yeah, we just installed this illegal copy of XP last week or so. Gee, thanks.

15. I went back to my dad’s hosed PC and boot up in safe mode to try and fix it. After an hour or so, Mr. Loadshedding makes his visit. Aaaaargh! @#$%^&*!

16. 6pm and time to face the facts. I ain’t transferring the money.

17. I called a friend back in Saudi to help me out. He didn’t have the funds. I called another friend who says no prob. I sent him hotel agent’s account info.

18. However, when he tried to transfer the funds, the bank said the name of the agent isn’t complete. They need a full name.

19. We tried for several hours to get through to agent. Finally, when I got through, he admits to having some phone problems (gee, how convenient for me). I got my friend to contact him to get full information.

20. Phew! Finally, everything’s done.

21. Hour later, I got a text message from friend. Bank rep says bank system is down, will not be able to transfer money until day after tomorrow (Sat. morning). Tomorrow was Friday, closed for Juma’a.

22. Ya Allah!

My father, who had been a sympathetic onlooker throughout this whole fiasco, had overheard my conversation with the agent (#10 above) and noted that not once had I said Insha’Allah. He reminded me that I was adamant in assuring him that I would get the funds to him without once uttering the name of Allah.

And it was then I remembered my quick email reply to my BIL – ‘No problem. Consider it done.’

So petty, yet so devastating.

I countered my father that my belief in Allah was implied in my declarations. Of course I acknowledge that Allah (swt) controls everything and not a single leaf falls without His permission. He is the sole Master and Maintainer of the universe, without doubt. Must I necessarily vocalize it with an ‘Insha’Allah’ appended to every sentence?

In fact, I detest this habit found all throughout the Muslim world, where Insha’Allah is recklessly used in place of ‘I really don’t want to do it, but I’ll say yes and then add Insha’Allah afterwards, thereby releasing me of any accountability.’

However, when I thought back to the instance when the Prophet (saw) was reprimanded by Allah (swt) for not having said Insha’Allah (in sura Kahf), surely our beloved Prophet hadn’t lost sight of Allah’s Omnipotence.

Yet, the lesson was clear. Never forget that everything happens by Allah’s permission.

That spoon of food in your hand will not enter your mouth without His permission.
Your eyelids will not blink shut without His permission. Nor will they blink open without His permission.
Your car will not get you to your desired destination without His permission.
That medicine will not cure your sickness without His permission.
The walls of your home will not remain standing without His permission.

And NEVER, EVER forget that you will NEVER, EVER transfer funds without His permission.

I thank Allah (swt) for having taught me this lesson in a way only He could have. The fact that He (swt) put me through these difficulties as a means of correcting my oversight assures me that He (swt) loves me. Warts and all.

I just wish all my mistakes could be so gently corrected. Sigh.

I wanted to share some thoughts on my dear brother Abu Sinan's recent blog post regarding the status of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). He took offense to the extreme acts of veneration that some Muslims practice when it comes to our beloved Prophet (saw).

I find it disconcerting that any act of love directed towards our Prophet (saw) can be considered extreme or unwarranted.

I wonder if true love ought to have limits. After all, this is a love which places the beloved (saw) of Allah (swt) above all other loves we may nurture in our hearts:

We were with the Prophet and he was holding the hand of 'Umar bin Al-Khattab. 'Umar said to Him, "O Allah's Apostle! You are dearer to me than everything except my own self." The Prophet said, "No, by Him in Whose Hand my soul is, (you will not have complete faith) till I am dearer to you than your own self." Then 'Umar said to him, "However, now, by Allah, you are dearer to me than my own self." The Prophet said, "Now, O 'Umar, (now you are a believer)." (Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 78, Hadith 628)

This is not some intellectual love that is cultivated by dry calls to 'follow the sunnah'.

This irrepressible infatuation is built on loving a man whom Allah (swt) and His angels are constantly praising and blessing.

This deep-seated obsession is built on my tears born from the pained look on his face when I will be called to account for my sins.

This uncontainable zeal is built on his blood-filled shoes as he was run out of Taif, for attempting to spread the message of Islam so it could eventually arrive to *me*.

This uncontrollable passion is built on his flowing tears that dampened his beard in his nightly vigil, praying for *me* so I could be guided back to Allah (swt).

I would sacrifice my father, my mother, and my self for you, Ya Rasul-Allah!

Abu-Sinan writes: "Mohammed was a Prophet, the last of many before him, but like all of the Prophets he was a man, nothing more. To worship or venerate supposed items of his go over a line that no Muslim should cross."

Really? What then should we make of episodes in our history where his companions crossed over said line?

Urwa returned to his people and said, "O people! By Allah, I have been to the kings and to Caesar, Khosrau and An-Najashi, yet I have never seen any of them respected by his courtiers as much as Muhammad is respected by his companions. By Allah, if he spat, the spittle would fall in the hand of one of them (i.e. the Prophet's companions) who would rub it on his face and skin; if he ordered them, they would carry out his order immediately; if he performed ablution, they would struggle to take the remaining water; and when they spoke, they would lower their voices and would not look at his face constantly out of respect." (Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 50, Number 891)

If such actions were to be carried out in this day and age, accusations of Kufr and Shirk would fly recklessly (note: Abu Sinan, may Allah reward him, explicitly mentioned that he was making no such accusations, but the truth remains that many others would). Yet these blessed companions carried out these very acts in front of the Prophet (saw).

And their love carried over to the relics and belongings of the Prophet, including his hair which he himself distributed, as well as his sweat which he allowed to be collected.

Anas b. Malik (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came to Mina; he went to the Jamra and threw pebbles at it, after which he went to his lodging in Mina, and sacrificed the animal. He then called for a barber and, turning his right side to him, let him shave him; after which he trimmed his left side. He then gave (these hair) to the people. (Muslim, Book 007, Number 2991)

Anas said, "Um Sulaim used to spread a leather sheet for the Prophet and he used to take a midday nap on that leather sheet at her home." Anas added, "When the Prophet had slept, she would take some of his sweat and hair and collect it (the sweat) in a bottle and then mix it with Suk (a kind of perfume) while he was still sleeping." When the death of Anas bin Malik approached, he advised that some of that Suk be mixed with his Hanut (perfume for embalming the dead body), and it was mixed with his Hanut. (Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 74, Number 298)

Truly we do not understand how to love the Prophet (saw). We rationalize it. We intellectualize it. We confine it. We restrict it.

Out of a misplaced fear of deifying him (saw)? A fear that he himself (saw) never vocalized when the companions pushed the limits of love. The Companions would compete for the remnants of his ablution water in order to put it on their faces. They would drink from water he spit out of his blessed mouth. In fact, he encouraged such 'blasphemous' actions, actions that we in our preposterous arrogance would frown upon in this day and age:

Allah's Apostle came to us at noon and water for ablution was brought to him. After he had performed ablution, the remaining water was taken by the people and they started smearing their bodies with it (as a blessed thing). The Prophet offered two Rakat of the Zuhr prayer and then two Rakat of the 'Asr prayer while an 'Anza (spear-headed stick) was there (as a Sutra) in front of him. Abu Musa said: The Prophet asked for a tumbler containing water and washed both his hands and face in it and then threw a mouthful of water in the tumbler and said to both of us (Abu Musa and Bilal), "Drink from the tumbler and pour some of its water on your faces and chests." (Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 187)

Is this the love of a sane people? Not by our modern-day standards. Truly they were madly in love with this Mercy to the worlds.

Sadly, we have lost our orientation on how to properly love the Prophet (saw). Our compass is broken, yet we insist we aren't lost. Our hearts are blinded, yet we insist our eyes are sufficient for this journey.

Dear reader, he (saw) was no mere man and his blessed companions acknowledged this, time and again:

`Uthman bin `Abd Allah ibn Mawhab said, "My people sent me with a bowl of water to Umm Salama." Isra'il approximated three fingers indicating the small size of the container in which there was some hair of the Prophet. `Uthman added, "If any person suffered from evil eye or some other disease, he would send a vessel (containing water) to Umm Salama (and she would dip the Prophet's hair into it and it would be drunk). I looked into the container (that held the hair of the Prophet) and saw a few reddish hairs in it." (Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 784)

Narrated Ibn Sirrn: I said to 'Ablda, "I have some of the hair of the Prophet which I got from Anas or from his family." 'Abida replied. "No doubt if I had a single hair of that it would have been dearer to me than the whole world and whatever is in it." (Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 171)

Again, I humbly ask those who claim that certain lines mustn't be crossed in our reverence for our dear Prophet (saw), did the companions cross those lines?

It's not enough that America is dumping on Pakistan as the breeding ground for Al-Qaeda supporters.

It's not enough that Afghanistan is dumping on Pakistan for allowing Taliban forces to regularly crossover their shared border.

It's not enough that India and Afghanistan are both dumping on Pakistan for having been behind the July 7 bombing of the Indian embassy in Kabul.

It's not enough that NATO is dumping on Pakistan for supporting the Taliban insurgency in Afghanistan.

Now there's talk that Pakistan has a role in the recent Muslim separatist flare-up in western China.

Well on the bright side, Musharraf's gonna get impeached and the Pakistani team's got a chance of medaling at the Olympics in field hockey.

Oh wait, they just got dumped on by UK.

Aww crap.

It's become quite evident to even the most casual of observers that post-Taliban Afghanistan has become a miserable failure. Life for the normal Afghani is the same, if not worse. The economy is in shambles, the drug-trade is thriving, the US-puppet government has barely a hold on Kabul and a few other cities, and peace is only found in the barrel of the gun.

And then I read this story on the increasing occurrences of rape, most of which are carried out without any fear of retribution or criminal punishment.

And then I think to myself, as a father of a 10-yr old daughter, that I would rather keep my daughter holed up in my house than send her to school or work in such a lawless society.

I would happily give up these rights for the general security the Taliban had established, knowing that her trip to the local market would not end up with this most miserable of endings.

I would happily live under the 'backwards' life under Taliban rule, where my family's well-being is preserved than the 'civilized' life under US/Karzai rule, where uncontrollable beasts run the streets.

Critics (legitimately) scolded the Taliban for their oppressive ways (forcing the burqa and the beard, destroying Buddhist artifacts, shutting down girls schools, etc.), while conveniently turning a blind eye to the security and order they established in war-torn Afghanistan.

But have they provided anything better in the past 7 years?

Since when are the issues of women's rights and religious freedom even comparable to fundamental concerns for safety and security?

As lofty as their goals may have been for invading Afghanistan, they've really turned it into a cesspool of crime and corruption. Just like in Iraq, they failed to establish the most basic of societal needs – public safety. (Be sure to check out this 3-part documentary Five Years in Iraq)

I don't care to defend the Taliban, but it seriously makes my blood boil when I read articles like the CNN piece I linked above.

Sure, Afghanistan under Taliban rule was a pile of garbage, but that beats the pile of shit the US has turned it into.

I say they pack up their bags and hand the country back to the Taliban, if for no other reason but to bring back some semblance of order. Sure, the public may despise the mullahs for forcing them to wear burqas and closing down the music shops, but at least their women will be able to walk the streets without getting abducted.

Dear You,

Wait, did you just ask what the hell is wrong with *ME*?!

OK, lemme get this straight.

You glue your fat butt to the couch and watch TV for hours on end.

You look forward to the weekends to waste them away socializing, watching movies, shopping, and what not.

You surf the web, spending countless hours of your life on YouTube, BBC, and your stupid blog.

You associate with heathens who are engrossed in this world as much as your sorry self.

And you call me a joke?!

You talk endlessly as if your tongue will dry up in the absence of your constant blabber.

You laugh incessantly as if your teeth will cease to exist if not fully displayed.

You eat obsessively as if your stomach will shrivel unless kept constantly full.

You sleep passionately as if your bed will disown you for leaving it in the night.

And then you censure me for feeling distant from my Creator, coldness towards His Word, and heaviness in prayer?

Yeah, and *I'm* the ignoramus.

I am merely a reflection of your actions, your thoughts, your senses, and your environment.

Only a fool would blame a spoiled child whose father has consistently caved into his every juvenile outburst with nary a disciplinary action. Sure, I admit I'm that spoiled child, but guess who's that foolish father? (hint: it rhymes with the letter U)

When did you ever once discipline me?
When did you ever muzzle my cravings?
When did you ever throttle my insatiable appetite?

For my entire life, you have set me up for failure and now you dare reproach me?!

Sheesh. What a friggin' loser.

Seriously pissed,
Me

Dear Me,

What the hell is wrong with you?!

You need a serious kick in the rear end.

When's the last time you woke up for tahajjud, that most sincere mode of direct and solemn communication with your Creator?

That's ok dude, I already know. I won't embarrass you.

Ramadan is around the corner – when was the last time you fasted a volunteer fast?!

You pranced around all proud of yourself for having completed reciting the entire Quran last Ramadan, but what have you done in the 10 months since?

You pompous ignoramus.

You claim to worship Allah alone, but the idols of personal whims and worldly desires are firmly established in you, having gained top priority.

You aspire for a polished heart, but you fear the abrasive nature of the Prophetic sand-paper.

You claim to love your 'Beloved', but remain ignorant of his sublime character and temperament.

What a joke!

You are ever so sensitive to the slightest breach of your rights, while boorishly stomping on the rights of others.

You hold such low opinions of those around you, chastising them for the most trivial of missteps, while overlooking your own colossal blunders.

When will you wise up to your shortcomings?

You pray as though you're releasing a burden, saving your passion for other fickle endeavors.

You recite the Quran as though you're in a race to get it over with.

You feed your anger instead of feeding the poor.

Your eyes wander recklessly, showing no control, like some wild boar.

Your tears flow more freely for a cheesy film than for your egregious faults.

In the hierarchy of your love, Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw) lie somewhere between your children and their breakfast cereals.

Your ugliness knows no bounds. You make me sick.

Disappointed, Disturbed, and Disgusted,
You

I wanted to clarify that my previous post was not intended to be simply an anti-Saudi-establishment rant. In fact, I’ve previously criticized the unfortunate expat pastime of whining and bashing against the Saudis.

Although I focused on the Mutawwa and their less-than-logical techniques, I truly believe their methodology typifies the ill-advised approach to reform employed by so many Muslims around the world.

We Muslims are all about window-dressing. Our idea of self-improvement is akin to putting make-up on a pig.

It's never about replacing the rotten core.

It's ‘religiously’ easier to grow a beard than to suppress your anger.
It's easier to don the scarf than to bite your tongue.
It's easier to memorize a host of ahadith than to crush your pride.
It's easier to use a miswak than to mend a broken relationship.
It's easier to lower your gaze and turn away from a sister than to help her with her groceries.
It's easier to regulary attend the local masjid than to turn away a bribe.
It's easier to correct others than to master the art of silence.

It’s so much easier to tackle the demons within by covering them with a thin coating of religiosity.

Whether it’s your self, your child, or your society, dealing with the outer forms of the sickness is quicker and less tasking than dealing with the inner essence of the problem.

Internal change (Islah) requires coming to terms with the repulsiveness of your true self, accepting scathing criticism by those more knowledgable, and adopting a long-term strategy to rectification.

Very painful, very difficult and very ugly.

Sadly, we are all the Mutawwa, in one form or another. We are all resistant to the pressures and pains of true internal reform, preferring the relative comforts of piety of the exterior.

The Saudi Religious Police (also known as Mutawwa) have been getting a bad rap for quite some time. In addition to all the negative energy directed towards them by the general public, they've come under greater media and governmental scrutiny for recent cases of extreme abuse.

I would normally not add fuel to this fire (as opinions are very emotionally charged from both sides), but I couldn't avoid chiming in on my dear friend Shariq's first blog entry over at Minjid.com.

The brother presents his case for supporting 'the Commission' as they provide an invaluable service to society.

I say hogwash.

My gripe is not with their abuses of power (which even their supporters condemn), but with the entire premise of enforcing Islamic principles. It makes no sense that propagation of (selected) virtue and removal of (selected) vice be forced down the throats of the masses.

And even if the Mutawwa were to succeed in covering every woman and forcing every man to pray, then what? Would that magically transform Saudi society into an Islamic utopia? All this obsession with the outer forms while ignoring the internal states is pure folly and doomed to failure.

The Prophet (saw) was sent with the primary mission to perfect akhlaq (moral character, etiquettes) - a lofty goal that can never be accomplished with superficial tactics of forcing people to pray and cover. The proper way is to focus on the hearts and attract people to the balanced teachings of our beloved Prophet (saw).

Honey. Vinegar. Flies. It's really not that complicated folks!

Why not teach people (dare I suggest *by example*, gasp!) to treat each other nicely, renounce bribery, avoid littering, give each other the benefit of the doubt, carry out fair financial transactions, treat maids and drivers with kindness, shun domestic abuse, embrace education, properly queue in lines, drive like humans, and so on?

These principles of justice, kindness, and civility are more important to society than ensuring that every strand of hair is covered or every man is praying in the masjid.

After all, what has decades of harassing unrelated couples and closing businesses at prayer times gotten them?

Internet pornography, Satellite dishes in over 90% of homes, and a flourishing underground homosexual society.

They've simply swept the problems off the streets and into the homes. How convenient.

Yay for a forced veneer of piety!

The Mutawwa consistently choose form over substance which has always proven to be a failed approach. Hearts remain unaffected by their brutish efforts.

They have disenfranchised the vast majority of Saudi youth with their shallow attempts at enforcing virtue and thwarting vice. They may have 'cleaned up' the streets of Saudi Arabia, but the hearts remain as polluted as ever.

Is that the type of Islamic society our dear Prophet (saw) struggled for?

Note: My rant is equally applicable to Iran, Afghanistan, or any other nation attempting to police piety.

Well, sort of:

Under the picture of the woman driving is text saying 'Say YES to women driving'.

Sorry for the poor quality of the pic, but I had to quickly snap it while driving. I was extremely shocked to see a sticker as brazen as this one, especially in Riyadh (this sort of stuff is more expected from the more liberal Jeddah).

Of course, not everyone shares the above driver's sentiments. Abu Ilyas has an interesting picture from the other side.

When I first arrived to Riyadh, I thought it peculiar how shops were arranged. You'll find shops selling a certain commodity all grouped together. For example, there's a cellphone souk (Arabic for market) with dozens of stores, all selling the same models of phones. Same for the computer souk, gold souk, car souk, and so on.

I found it very odd at first because back in the US, retailers don't open their shops right next to the competition. That simply doesn't make business sense.

American entrepreneurs scout out a location to ensure they are one of the few selling their wares in the vicinity. After all, if I'm selling cellphones, my business would obviously do better if I'm the only seller in the area.

And so, when I first saw stores lined up, one after the other, all selling the same items, I was seriously confused. How do they ever make money? Why not relocate to another place, away from the competition?

And then after settling down, I realized how convenient these souks are for the consumer. Instead of driving all over Riyadh looking for the store that sells what I want, I simply go to the souk and shop around. No hassle of driving from one end of town to the other. Everything is available within walking distance.

I now am perplexed how shoppers in the West survive, having to drive long distances, going from store to store to find what they need.

The convenience here is amazing. And the vendor of item X realizes that his chances of making a sale are increased when he's located in the X souk as opposed to a location where he is the only one selling item X.

Some of you may be thinking, 'Big deal, we have shopping malls in the West', but the two are actually quite different.

The souks I'm referring to are more analogous to a strip plaza with twenty clothing stores, all selling the very similar, if not the exact, style of clothing, from the same manufacturer or supplier, with differences in sizes and colors available in each store's stock.

If you want your car fixed, there's a designated area with dozens of mechanics and auto-repair shops. You want to buy a satellite dish, you'll find a strip of 15 shops, all selling the same variety of dishes. If you want plants for your garden, there are flower markets consisting of large stalls, all attached to each other, all selling the same flowers with slight differences in the variety offered.

And this mentality has even spilled onto the streets. When a Saudi parks on the side of the road to sell watermelon or dates out the back of his truck, it's only a matter of time before five others do the same.

If the same thing were to occur in the US, the original vendor would bark at the others to go find their own turf.

I would like to think that these Muslim sellers embody the divine principle of tawakul (trust in Allah) and acknowledge that their rizq (sustenance) is pre-determined by Allah, so no matter if they were the only one in the area or one of several hundreds, their lot is fixed.

But I'm too cynical to think so positively of these folks.

Truth is, these rascals probably collude with each other to set the prices. And being so close only facilitates their conspiring.

Oh well, at least it beats having to drive around town.

My youngest brother has recently started his residency training somewhere near Chicago and shared with me this very funny story:

I was sitting in the physicians lounge in front of my computer looking up the history of a new patient we got called for, and I could overhear the conversation of few second-year residents. There were two internal medicine residents talking over with a radiology resident (who just finished his preliminary year in internal medicine) about radiology and how laid back a lifestyle it is.

Right behind me, with his back to me, was a Pakistani, and across the room were the other two residents, one Ethiopian and the other Indian - the radiologist. Here's how the conversation went:

"So how many hours do radiologists work?", asked the Ethiopian guy.

"8-5 - normal office hours. On call once a week for the second and third year and never again for the rest of my life". He was so proud of himself, that cocky Indian.

"And how much do they make?"

In comes the Pakistani brother, with the thickest possible desi accent he could conjure, "They make a loadshed of money."

Huh?! What does a loadshed of money mean? How does this Paki FOB know of a word to describe 'huge' or 'enormous' that I don't?! I've realized for a while now that my vocabulary is pretty bad, but now this was just putting me to shame.

So there I sat, trying to come up with a meaning for the word - loadshed, like from the word loadshedding. But that means power failures - what does that have to do with 'alot'? I don't know, maybe if you take off the '-ing' it becomes a totally different word.

Or maybe he was saying loadshed as in 'a shed loaded with money'. That could make sense. Or maybe...

And then came a voice, seemingly to correct my thoughts so I could get back to work.

"Shitload, I mean," he mumbled, but loud enough for me to hear.

"Shit...load, yaar get it straight, shitload." he repeated under his breath, berating himself so as not to make the mistake again.

Mystery solved.

For your surfing pleasure:

Time magazine has a nice photo gallery of what 16 families from across the world eat in one week.

Is it me or does the family from Ecuador seem amazingly happy? Especially in comparison to that German family. They really seemed pissed at something. (h/t to Aaminah)

JD over at Dunner's Blog put together a series of amazing posts (here and here as well) inspired by Hugh Kennedy's book, Great Arab Conquests. In fact, his posts piqued my interest so much so that I actually ponied up $10 for a used copy. JD bro, it better be worth it! :-)


Finally, here's a funny video:

I was asking a Saudi co-worker about his nation's obsession with Kabsa, a traditional Saudi dish consisting of a mound of rice with either chicken or lamb thrown on top. He himself admitted to eating it everyday for lunch. And he mentioned that many Saudis eat the same dish for lunch AND dinner.

I remember another co-worker proudly declaring that during Ramadan, he has to have Kabsa for Suhoor, every single morning!

Their simplicity is mind-boggling. No Saudi appetizers, no Saudi side-dishes, and no Saudi desserts.

Just Kabsa.

I'll admit that it took me a while to warm up to Kabsa – I'm used to some curry on top of my rice. But now that I've gotten used to it, I actually like it. But not so much to accept it every single day.

I just don't understand that.

He explained that the mindset, especially with the older generation, is to view food for its utility. The meal is not an experience to be savored or a source of entertainment. The meal is simply a source of energy for the body. The entertainment, if needed, comes from the conversation during the meal, not the meal itself.

I find such an unsophisticated approach to eating commendable. Food ceases to be the goal and returns to its original role of serving as a means to the goal (of sustenance). One relishes the quality of one's company as opposed to the quality of the food.

But maybe the Saudi style of eating has nothing with such higher aspirations. Maybe they're simply too culturally lazy to innovate new dishes. After all, the Saudi men all wear the same dress. ;-)

Finally, it's worth noting that the newer generation does not share the same culinary ideals of their forefathers. Indian and Chinese food are very trendy with the younger families, in addition to the unfortunate habit of fast-food.

So much for higher aspirations.

I know how so many of you are looking to step out of the shadows of your male counterparts. We all know how traditional Muslim societies don't have such a great track record when it comes to treating women with justice and respect.

I know how many of you have dabbled with the countless strands of feminism and have found them lacking. Many of you believe that Islam provides the best of both worlds, a balanced approach where you can forward your position in a male-dominated society without sacrificing your prized femininity, all under an umbrella of deep spirituality.

However, I wanted to ask you about one issue, namely the newfound assertiveness found in many modern women.

Submissive is out, aggressive is in. The free ride that men have had where they make uncontested decisions, bark out their demands, and expect everything their way is over.

And you know what? I say g'd on ya, mate! (that's Australian)

But with a caveat.

If you are going to insist on not only voicing your opinion, but having it your way, you must be prepared to present it in a rational, logical manner.

And you must also be prepared to intellectually defend your stance against others who may not necessarily see it your way.

And all this must be done without resorting to tears and emotional outbursts.

Can you handle that?

The way I see it, traditional roles are not simply based on physical strength (although that is an undeniable factor), but on the male vs. female approach to problem-solving and decision-making.

Men are more calculating. Women are more passionate. Together, they form a harmoniously complimentary dynamic. But when it comes to making a decision or leading a people, the former (calculating) is preferable to the latter (passionate).

So now we come to modern times where women are sick and tired of being passive recipients of pronouncement made by their men. They're demanding that room be made for them at the decision-making table.

And room we shall make for you.

But is too much to ask that you articulate your thoughts and desires in a way conducive to making rational decisions?

Can you weigh the pros and cons of a matter without resorting to emotional justifications that, admittedly, are important to you, but may not translate the same to others?

If so, I'm convinced that your relationships with husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends will be the better for it.

Otherwise, I fear that you will continue to be relegated to the realm of child-bearers and home-keepers.

As if I needed any more proof that political Islam will never succeed without a deeper, more substantial spiritual reform, news comes from Turkey that two retired general were arrested in over an alleged plot to overthrow the Islamically-inclined AK Party.

And if that isn’t enough in the tough-times department for Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, his party is currently fighting for its life in the judicial courts against charges that they are undermining secularism in Turkey.

I said it in my last post on Anwar Ibrahim and I’ll say it again when the AK Party goes down (either via the court ruling or through an inevitable military coup), Muslims need to stop putting the proverbial horse before the cart by focusing on political solutions.

We need to get our hearts and minds in order, reconnect with Allah (swt), and place our trust in Him.

He will take care of the rest.

I'm continuously surprised by the number of Muslims who are unaware of the tragic plight of Anwar Ibrahim. Most don't know that he was an up-and-coming internationally-renowned Muslim leader in the 90's (reaching as high as deputy-PM of Malaysia), whose star was suddenly shot down by his mentor, a jealous Mahathir Mohammad (then-PM of Malaysia).

The outlandish charges back in 1998 against Ibrahim were of engaging in sodomy with his driver as well as corruption. That eventually landed him in jail, resulting in the infamous picture where he sported a black eye after only a few days under police custody. (charges were eventually dropped, but only after 6 years in jail)

History surely repeats itself.

The charge of sodomy has once again reared its ugly head in an attempt to again slander Ibrahim.

On the heels of a major upset against the ruling National Front in the March elections, opposition parties were looking to make serious waves in Malaysia, with Ibrahim as a strong candidate for the next Prime Minister.

Until now.

"Not again" was the reply by Ibrahim when he spoke from the Turkish Embassy, where has taken refuge for his safety from the Malaysian government.

But I must admit, that after my initial shock and disappointment upon reading this news, I'm beginning to get a better sense of Allah's Wisdom.

I fear that Muslims would have gotten a false sense of hope that the submarine of the Ummah, having sunken to unbelievable depths over the past few centuries, is finally making its long-awaited resurfacing.

With a charismatic leader at the helm of a pluralistic Muslim nation, enjoying financial success as well as political stability, many Muslims would have rejoiced at our collective turn of fortune.

But that would have caused us to overlook the fundamental sickness plaguing the Ummah – our broken relationship with our Lord.

I'm convinced that the Muslim world simply isn't ready for a strong, upright leader (as Anwar Ibrahim seems to be). The problem has never been about electing or appointing a worthy leader. The problem has never been about locating the next Salahuddin.

The problem has always been about us, not our leadership. We just aren't worthy of any mantle of authority.

No matter how politically active Muslims become, their efforts will keep getting thwarted. Musharraf has done it. Mubarak has done it. And now, the Malaysian establishment is doing it.

This latest turn of events is a clear sign to Muslims that we must realign ourselves with the concepts of true Islamic reform. Reform will not come about by political activism. Reform will not be found in assimilating into the global socio-economic infrastructure. Reform will never be grounded on modern concepts of 'advancement' or 'civilization' or 'enlightened moderation'.

The reform taught by the Prophet (saw) was to struggle to establish the Islamic state within while struggling to establish the Islamic state without. Too many have neglected the former while focusing solely on the latter.

The balance has been lost.

And therefore, as a blessing to us (as well as the rest of world), Allah (swt) has placed a political straitjacket on the Ummah – preventing it from tasting any political power so as to prevent it from causing any harm unto others or to itself.

As a blessing to us (and the rest of world), we will continue to see failed political/military efforts for establishing Muslim states or electing Muslim leaders (Algeria, Sudan, Somalia, Afghanistan, Hamas, Anwar Ibrahim).

Allah (swt) will either send the Americans or a military junta or the Ethiopians or the Israelis or even a 23-year-old political aide, but the results will be the same – no power for the Muslims.

We simply are not ready for the immensely grave responsibility of being representatives of the Most High (khalifat-Allah).

As I see it, I refuse to place a gun in my child's hands. Similarly, Allah (swt) has refused to place power in the Ummah's hands.

In both cases, the results would be tragic.

One of the greatest sources of frustrations for many expats living in Saudi Arabia is the closing of stores during prayer times. You may end up waiting almost 45 minutes before the store re-opens. So around the prayer times, it’s not uncommon to see mad dashes to grocery stores and shopping centers, to make that final purchase right before the Adhan is called and the doors are closed. Countless number of times, my family and I made that same dash only to be thwarted by store employees eager to start their prayer break a few minutes early.

At first, I really let these frustrations fluster me. I would get very upset and angry, at having to make my family wait for almost an hour for an errand that could have been completed in 10 minutes.

And this ‘unprofessional’ concept of time is not only witnessed in the malls, it is widespread throughout the Saudi bureaucracy. Paperwork is NEVER accomplished in one day. It’s normal for a 30-minute process to take over a week. Patience is not a virtue over here, it’s a requirement!

So as these tests of my patience continued to occur, I began to internalize these turn of events and discovered a much deeper benefit. I began to loosen my tight grip on controlling my time. I began to realize that I am a slave of time, not the other way around.

As much as we would like, life does not occur at our pace. We occur at its pace. And this realization, that time is out of our control, is a foundational difference between traditional Eastern societies and modern Western society.

Time as defined by modern society is extremely precise. The beginning of their day is at 12am sharp, otherwise known as midnight. Their months are exact. They know which months are 30 days and which ones are 29 (I think February was adopted). Based on this precision, meetings are made, appointments are arranged, schedules are set, and life is controlled.

And then we have the traditional Muslim society who has trademarked and patented imprecision. The Muslim calendar day begins after sunset, whenever that may be. Really, when does that occur? Here in Riyadh, the Adhan for Maghrib is called right when the sun begins to set – with light still overcoming the darkness. On the other hand, back in the states, I always prayed Maghrib when the darkness had taken over and one was certain that the sun had set.

This got me thinking – if the beginning/ending of the Muslim day is so indistinguishable, when would the deadline for taxes be? Would it be Maghrib 'sharp' on the night before April 15th? How does one define that? Also, how would they celebrate the countdown to the New Year with the whole apple-dropping ceremony in Times Square? Wait, that wouldn’t happen in a traditional society.

Similarly, with no concept of midnight, how would Cinderella’s fairy tale have turned out? She would have had a legitimate gripe with the fairy godmother about the exact timing of sunset. I know I would have.

And then there are the issues with the lunar months. The annual moon-sighting problems of Ramadan and Dhul-Hijjah bring to light the inexact science behind the determination of our Islamic months. That we've celebrated Eid on three separate days in a single community demonstrates the absurdity of the situation. However, my purpose is not to pick on deep-rooted scabs of our Muslim societies. I have higher aspirations. (stop snickering)

Upon more reflection, I noticed a profound foundational difference between the two disparate concepts of time. The traditional system has a deliberate connection with nature that requires for man to remain cognizant of his universal surroundings. In remaining dutiful to his Lord, he has no other choice. He is always mindful of the sun and its daily cycle. He is aware of the differences in the prayer times during the various seasons. He is constantly keeping an eye on the moon so as to measure the months. For those interested in fasting the three middle days of the lunar month, they’re looking out for the full moon. The faces of Muslims are always turning towards the sky, turning towards Allah. This constant reliance on their surroundings imbeds respect and reverence for the universe.

On the other hand, many of us have noticed how modern man has lost touch with nature. The environment has ceased to be a sign of Allah. It has become a tool to be raped for the benefit of man and his insatiable greed. The sun and the moon and their orbits are mere discoveries of science, having been relegated to science textbooks. Modern man rarely turns upwards to the sky – his gaze firmly planted on the earth, symbolic of his outlook on life versus the hereafter.

Time has ceased to be measured by the romanticized cycles of the sun and the moon. Time is now measured by the more precise, yet infinitely more impersonal measurement of radiation from the caesium-133 atom. This divorce from his surroundings has eventually led to man becoming estranged from his Creator.

Modern Muslims need to realign themselves with the natural concept of time, not the wristwatch concept of time. We must stop becoming so consumed with time and start concentrating on life. Time is measured in minutes and hours, while life is measured by knowledge and deeds. Time is void of blood relations and social acquaintances whereas life is built upon them.

Having spent time in Pakistan, I noticed a pleasant social trend that would be impossible in a modern society so infatuated with time. Relatives, near and distant, as well as close friends would feel comfortable in dropping by at any time. There was no feeling of intrusion, only of joyful reception. Without the concerns of being at a certain place at a certain time, people are free to enjoy each others company.

Critics would say that it is this exact attitude that has prevented Muslim societies from joining the developed world. Their laissez faire outlook is an obstacle in increasing the productivity of that nation's manpower. I say, if the cost of joining modern society is losing its humanity, its connection to the universe, then traditional society has made the correct choice.

So the next time you're seething in some overseas ministry office or governmental department, having wasted an entire day, running from one place to another, in an attempt to process your driver's license - sit back, align yourself with the universal concept of time, and take in a deep, rejuvenating breath of life.

Just be careful of all that second hand smoke in the air.

I just learned about the one-day Palestinian Security Summit, where 41 countries have convened in Berlin to discuss the need to establish rule of law in Palestine.

“The conference is aimed at improving the Palestinians' police force, judges, courts and prisons.”

So the best and brightest of the world have decided that the most effective way to curtail and control armed militias (comprised of the local disenfranchised population) in the occupied territories of Palestine, is not by increasing employment (unemployment currently at 80%), investing in the economy, improving the educational system, allowing medical supplies into Palestine, or basically any other possible action vaguely representing hope.

But they’ve decided that a stronger police force, more judges, more efficient criminal justice system, and best of all - more prisons are the best solution to the woes of the Palestinians.

Yaay for Western ‘civilization’ coming to the rescue!!

As I was contemplating on the beauty of Sura Fatiha, it struck me how powerful the essential dua'a in the sura is:

"Guide us to the straight path"

We're asking Allah (swt) to guide us to the path of righteousness. But which path is that? Thus Allah (swt) answers in the following verse:

"The path of those upon whom You (Allah) have bestowed Your blessings."

So it’s a path characterized not by ideals or principles, but by the people who embody those very ideals and principles.

It's not the path of the Quran. It's not the path of the Hadith. It's not the path of detailed Fiqh or correct Aqeedah. It's not the path of dry texts and lifeless manuscripts.

It’s the path of living, breathing individuals. It’s the path traversed by our noble elders, who are able to pass along the experiences and life-long lessons of this journey. It’s the path of beacons of light who we are blessed to sit with and learn from. It’s the path of following the good examples and shunning the bad ones.

It’s the path of interacting with society, not the path of isolating oneself.

It’s the path of sitting at the feet of a teacher, not the path of Do-It-Yourself.

It’s the path of discovering and emulating these vibrant gems of society, not the path of mechanically memorizing drab data from bloodless books.

It’s the path of debasing oneself before another (for the purpose of learning), not the path of anointing oneself over another (for the purpose of teaching).

It’s the path navigated by our spiritual forefathers.

Let us all embark on our journey down this path.

By now, you’ve all heard of Obama’s hijab-gate 'scandal' and the apology he personally offered to the two Muslim women. This has really been blown out of proportion. He wasn't the one who pushed aside the Muslim hijabis (it was campaign volunteers). But even if the mistake were to have been made directly by him, he would have made the same apology and life would go on.

Obama is like every other politician and he must pander to public opinion. He is a slave who must serve his master - his media image. And as long as that is the case, he must continue to tippy-toe around the issue of treating Muslims with respect.

But lets say we entertain the fantasy that Obama is some agent for (positive) change. The issue then really becomes holding him to a consistent standard which must include eliminating islamophobia.

The real scandal is America's widespread acceptance of bashing, mocking, and deriding anything Muslim. And since I’m lazy, I’m simply going to link to Jinnzaman’s astute post on the issue.

Enjoy the read!