Naeem's Blog

I am convinced that too many of us living in industrialized nations have lost sight of what it truly means to have trust in our Sustainer. With our guaranteed salaries and medical insurance and pension plans, our lives are meticulously laid out to safeguard against every possible curve ball thrown our way.

We have assured ourselves that our Rizq (sustenance), present and future, will come primarily from our own efforts. The more we struggle and strive, the more we shall accomplish and achieve. Sure, our belief system dictates that everything comes from Allah (swt), but our attitudes expose our hypocrisy.

Our provisions are not coming from Allah (swt), but from our paychecks.
Our medical services are not provided by Allah (swt), but by our health care provider.
Our homes and automobiles are not protected by Allah (swt), but by our insurance companies.
We feel secure since protection is provided by the police force and fire department.
We needn’t worry about losing our credit cards as the companies have policies protecting against fraud and theft.

And with everything guaranteed, insured, and protected, where has Allah (swt) gone in our daily lives?

Don’t get me wrong. None of what I mentioned is inherently wrong. They are merely ways we implement the Prophetic advice to ‘tie the camel’. But the problem arises when we become so consumed with securing the camel that we build a fence around it, install a camera system, and hire a security force.

Where did the second part of the famous Prophet guidance go (‘and trust in Allah’)?

We are so busy with establishing safety nets and emergency funds that we have forgotten the more essential principle of Trust in Allah. These devices are desperate measures created by a desperate civilization that has lost all ties with its Creator and Sustainer.

Yet, we are falling in full step behind them, mimicking their every act, in creating a lifestyle safe and secure from the randomness of Divine ‘interference’.

So instead of expending our energies towards higher goals and objectives, we have become infatuated with tying down the proverbial camel.

Modern society dictates that not only must we provide for today and tomorrow, but we must engage all our energies into securing next year and the year after. Not only must we strive to provide for our family’s basic necessities, but we must save up for college funds, expensive weddings, and retirement costs.

Allah (swt) will not provide, our actions scream. Our 401(K) will.

And with our trust in our Creator withering away, we feel a greater urgency to incessantly pursue our Rizq - all the while forgetting that our Rizq is actually running after us.

“And how many a living creature is there that takes no thought of its own sustenance; God provides for it as [He provides] for you - since He alone is all-hearing, all-knowing.” (29:60)

“And there is no living creature on earth but depends for its sustenance on God” (11:6)

Let us focus our efforts towards that which matters and leave our sustenance to the One who has sustained everything in this world since its inception.

Allow me to share a tale that nicely captures the essence of our sustenance and how, regardless of what we do, it runs after us:

In a remote village, a young man was asked by his gentle elderly mother to eat his breakfast before leaving home. Bursting with energy and in a rush to begin his day, he declined and scurried off on his way. Being the caring mother she was, she quickly ordered her young daughter to follow after the boy with the plate of food to ensure he ate it. Said the loving mother, ‘Do not let him see you, lest he reject it again. Simply leave the food nearby, so when he becomes hungry, he will eat it at his leisure.’

The sister surreptitiously followed her elder sibling through the forest all the way to the local river, where she watched as her brother jumped in for a morning swim. After he got out, he stretched out under a nearby tree and proceeded to take a nap. Figuring he would be hungry after his nap, she laid the plate of food some distance away from the tree and returned home, certain that her brother would eventually find his breakfast.

Coincidentally, a group of no-good hooligans were convening nearby and discussing plans for their next act of thievery. While arguing back and forth, the gang leader smelled the scent of fresh food and followed it back to the same plate. Desperate for a home-cooked meal , the lot of them eagerly decided to share the food amongst themselves, until the leader paused and reflected. He shared his concern that the plate could potentially be a devious plot concocted by a rival gang.

‘The food may contain poison’, he grumbled. ‘Scout around and see if you find one of them spying on us.’

They ran about looking for anyone hiding away, until they came upon the young man sleeping under the tree.

They immediately pounced upon him and carried him back to their leader, who ferociously demanded the boy confess to setting up the poisonous plate of food. The young man repeatedly denied it until the leader decided it best to ‘test’ the food by force-feeding the hapless lad.

They made him eat every last morsel and eagerly awaited for the poison to kick in. Soon thereafter, they realized that nothing of the sort would occur and so dejectedly beat the boy one last time and went on their way.

The boy limped his way home and upon seeing his bruised face, his mother shrieked, ‘What happened my son?!’

With half a smile, he admitted, ‘Dear mother, my Lord had decreed my sustenance in the form of your hearty breakfast. One way or another I was destined to eat it. I declined the choice to eat it by your blessed hands, so Allah willed for me to eat it by the punches and kicks of those less savory.'

I was appalled by this recent article where the columnist actually recommends couples (married or not) spice up their sex life by engaging in public sex:

“The point is, the fear of getting caught -- combined with the thrill of being naughty by taking things out of the bedroom -- can really ramp up your sex life.”

Disgusting, yet expected.

Surely I am not the only one who immediately thought of these Prophetic warnings of the Last Day:

Narrated Anas (RAA) Allah's Messenger (SAW) said, "From among the portents of the Hour are (the following) …There will be prevalence of open illegal sexual intercourse." (Bukhari)

“The Last Hour will not be established until they (wicked people) commit adultery on the roads.” (Ibn Habban)

And finally a last narration, for which I couldn’t find the exact text, where the Prophet (saw) warned that the Last Day will not arrive until the wicked are engaging in public fornication like donkeys.

As I was watching the news coverage of the volcanic ash cloud blanketing parts of Europe, I couldn't help but think of the Dukhan (the Smoke), one of the ten major signs of the Last Day, as taught by the Prophet (saw):

“Allah’s Messenger came to us all of a sudden as we were (busy in a discussion). He asked: What are you discussing? (The Companions) replied: We are discussing (the subject of) the Last Hour. Thereupon he said: It will not come until you see ten signs. And (in this connection) he made a mention of the Dukhan (smoke), Dajjal, the Beast, the Rising of the sun from the west, the Descent of Jesus son of Mary, Gog and Magog, Sinkings of the earth in three places, one in the east, one in the west and one in Arabia, after which a Fire would burn forth from Yemen, and would drive people to the place of their assembly’ (i.e., the place where mankind will be assembled for judgment).” (Sahih Muslim)

Now I'm not claiming this ash cloud is *that* Dukhan. Only Allah (swt) knows. But I'm guessing that a majority of Muslims around the world are completely heedless of the possibility.

My concern is the nonchalant attitude with which we Muslim observers of global affairs treat potential apocalyptic signs.

We have becomes so desensitized to the bizarre occurrences of our world, that nothing seems peculiar anymore. So much so, that I would not be the least surprised if an extraordinary event, like say the coming of Prophet Isa (as), were simply reported by the media, and duly consumed by us viewers, as some delusional individual performing tricks of magic while claiming to be the Messiah.

Or if the appearance of Imam Mahdi was casually written off as some fanatical terrorist claiming to revive the Islamic Khilafa.

I think that most of us are expecting these individuals (Prophet Isa and Imam Mahdi) to be accompanied by some cinematic soundtrack or maybe a ray of light beaming from the heavens.

Or that Yajuj and Majuj (Gog and Magog) will storm down across the lands like the savage beasts in Sauron’s army.

Or that Dajjal will be this immediately recognizable one-eyed monster who will lay waste to the entire world.

The fact is nothing so flashy and jazzy will be taking place. These signs will come and go as ‘normal’ events to which the majority of people will pay no mind.

With regards to the coming of Yajuj and Majuj (Gog/Magog), the Prophet (saw) said “People would continue to perform the Hajj and ‘Umrah even after the release of Gog and Magog, but the Last Hour would not come before the (valid) Hajj no longer existed.”

This hadith demonstrates that the release of Yajuj/Majuj will not be some sensational Hollywood-style climactic event with monstrous zombies running amok, devouring innocent children and dining on human blood. On the contrary, there will remain enough peace and security around the world to allow pilgrims to travel all the way to Mecca and back.

Similarly, with the release of the Dajjal, it will be a normal everyday occurrence, as witnessed by the Prophet seeking to confirm the identity of Ibn Sayyad as the Dajjal:

It is related that 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar reported that 'Umar went with the Messenger of Allah (saw), with a group to visit Ibn Sayyad. They found him playing with some children in the hills of Banu Maghala. Ibn Sayyad, who was approaching puberty, did not notice them until the Prophet (saw)patted him with his hand and then said to him, 'Do you testify that I am the Messenger of Allah?' Ibn Sayyad looked at him and said, 'I testify that you are the Messenger of the unlettered.' Ibn Sayyad said to the Prophet, 'Do you testify that I am the Messenger of Allah?' He refuted it and said, 'I have believed in Allah and His Messengers.' Then he said to him, 'What dreams do you have?' Ibn Sayyad replied, 'Both truthful people and liars come to me.' The Prophet (saw) said, 'You are in a state of confusion.' Then the Prophet (saw) said to him, 'I am concealing something from you.' Ibn Sayyad said, 'It is just smoke.' He said, 'Shame on you! You will not go too far.' 'Umar said, 'Messenger of Allah, let me cut his head off?' The Prophet (saw) said, 'If it is him (i.e. the Dajjal), you will not be able to get the better of him. If it is not him, there is no point in killing him.'"

Salim reported that he heard 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar say, "After that, the Prophet (saw) went with Ubayy ibn Ka'b al-Ansari to the palm-grove where Ibn Sayyad was staying. He wanted to hear something from Ibn Sayyad without Ibn Sayyad seeing him. The Prophet, Messenger of Allah entered and hid behind the palm trunks, trying to hear something from Ibn Sayyad before he saw him. Ibn Sayyad was lying on his bed, covered by a wrapper and there was a murmuring sound coming from him. The mother of Ibn Sayyad saw the Prophet (saw) hiding behind the palm trunk and she said to Ibn Sayyad, 'Saf! (which was a name of Ibn Sayyad) Muhammad is here.' So Ibn Sayyad got up. The Prophet (saw) said, 'If she had left him, the business would have been clear.'"

From these two narrations, it’s evident that the Prophet (saw) saw the release of Dajjal as uneventful, as opposed to the Armageddon-style view that so many of us harbor where we expect the entire earth to shake and the skies to fall upon the Dajjal's arrival.

So back to the ash cloud.

I'm not making any rash predictions about it being one of the major signs of the Day. I'm simply saying that we need to first, become intimately aware of what our Prophet (saw) taught us about the signs (both major and minor) of the Last Day, and second, be on alert for these signs, because when they do occur, there ain't gonna be any thundering announcement coming from the heavens.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term ‘rubbernecker’, it refers to those depraved individuals who, while driving by a car accident, quickly turn their necks back and forth just so they can catch a glimpse of the wreckage. And to top it off, in the process of their gawking, they’re forced to slow down their car which inevitably results in a traffic jam.

I find it very unsympathetic of these schmucks to find some sort of viewing pleasure as they pass by the remains of someone else’s misery.

I can only imagine the frustrations felt by those involved in the accident. Adding insult to the injury caused by the crash, they have to stand there and endure the humiliation of becoming an unreluctant circus act for hundreds of passing viewers.

Why don’t these heartless souls just hand the victims a top hat and cane so they can at least dress for the part?

Sheesh.

And that’s not the worst of it.

You’ve all the heard the quip when someone is caught staring at somebody else, the person will respond, ‘Hey buddy, why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer’.

Well, some folks took that suggestion literally.

I’ve seen people here in Saudi Arabia, where I have witnessed more gruesome accidents than I wish to discuss, slow down their cars to the point where they can take out their phone and snap a few quick pics of the shocking scene.

Such an insensitive act is a serious invasion of the victim’s moment of grief and misfortune.

I shared my thoughts with some co-workers and they both felt I was being too sensitive. They reasoned that as long as the pics aren’t of the people involved and aren’t being taken to make light of the situation, it’s no big deal.

Really?! Where is the humanity???

I find such logic lacking in compassion and simple courtesy.

Or am I simply being too sensitive here?

Sh. Yasir Qadhi wrote a piece over at MuslimMatters presenting his new initiative (Like a Garment) to address sex-related problems plaguing many Western Muslim couples. He cites his experience in presenting various lectures and seminars, where many young Muslims expressed confusion and frustration in navigating the murky waters of intimate relations.

He mentioned three examples in his article:

1. A couple experimenting in questionable acts.
2. A wife complaining about her selfish husband who cares nothing for her sexual satisfaction.
3. Husbands frustrated by their wives' lack of sexual interest.

So after discovering the dearth of Islamic scholarly work on this subject, he decided to read up on the countless western studies and decided to Islamify them for consumption by his Muslim audiences.

Sh. Yasir reasons that such problems of intimacy are “compounded for most of us, since we as a modern generation of Muslims are caught between two cultures: the excessive ultra-conservatism of our parent’s culture (in which parents never even held hands in front of their kids, or addressed each other in endearing terms, or indeed showed any signs of being romantic), and the hyped over-sexuality and over-romanticism of the culture surrounding us (in which much happens in public that we’d rather not discuss).”

So, he’s claiming that the social dynamics are so completely different for Muslims in modern society that it necessitates a new approach to address the challenges of their sexual problems.

Is it me or are the three examples he cited problems that have existed since the dawn of time and not merely specific to the modern generation of Muslims?

Married couples have been struggling with these issues for generations. I don’t see anything so problematic that it warrants such a focused attention.

Nothing modern about these issues.

What is modern is this self-serving need to talk about everything. We are the Oprah/Dr. Phil-generation. We need to open up and express our emotions and share our frustrations and analyze everything, even our most intimate of problems.

I’m not comfortable with this position.

What makes us believe that the problems related to intimacy found in our generation are so special that they need to be addressed in a manner different from what ALL the generations before practiced?

For ages, couples have dealt with these issues in the privacy of their homes or in extreme cases, in a private session with a respected elder.

But not us. We need to publicly discuss sensitive issues, such as masturbation, orgasms, and vibrators.

The lack of public sexual discourse found in Muslims societies is not a deficiency. I counter that it’s a strength. After all, with all this openness found in Western society, how has it improved their marriages?

Caught in this intersection between two cultures, we’re sadly choosing the ways of our newly adopted culture where it’s completely acceptable to openly discuss sex, while arrogantly tossing aside centuries of tradition and custom, marked by this most essential of characteristics, Haya (bashfulness).

Haya dictates that not every problem of intimacy needs to be addressed. Haya teaches us that getting the absolute maximum sexual pleasure does not take precedence over social propriety and modesty. Haya teaches us that problems created in the bedroom should be fixed in the bedroom.

Let me clarify that when I refer to problems, I speak not of modern-day perversions that are destroying marriages, such as porn, romance novels, and Facebook. Issues born from these sicknesses, as complex as they are, can be addressed either in the conventional manner, as detailed in this timely article posted at Imam Suhaib Webb’s site, or with the expertise of a marriage counselor.

And I’m not just picking on Sh. Yasir’s project. I have similar misgivings with programs like the one hosted by the Egyptian ‘Dr. Ruth’, Hoda Kotb, who shocked the Muslim world several years ago with her TV program ‘Big Talk’ in which she discusses sensitive issues. The sex therapist admitted that "Five years ago, I'd see two or three patients a week. Today, I'm booked three months ahead."

Some may conclude from her statement that modern couples are indeed having more problems in bed. On the contrary, I think it’s just that they’ve found an outlet receptive to their questions and frustrations.

Parents, elder siblings, and close friends simply don’t care about your bedroom antics. So in this day and age, where sexual prowess is critical to one’s identity, couples are insistent on finding a solution and thus these initiatives are taking hold in our communities.

Sex just isn’t that complicated. If village dwellers can figure it out, why can’t the modern Muslim generation?

I guess I’m just old school. I say to couples interested in improving their sex life exactly what my father told me before I got married.

Nothing.

I recently discussed my experiences with weaning my kids off the TV. Yeah, I know, it really shouldn't that hard. Just throw the stupid thing out!

I know some families who have done exactly that. Kudos to them, I say. One day I hope to do the same.

But then I see these same folks giving their children free reign on the Internet. I see them buying their kids hand-held video games (Nintendo DS, PSP). I see them buying them fancy cell phones. I see them buying them iPods.

What in the world are they thinking?!

This attitude exposes their shallow understanding of the evils of the TV. Or their shallow understanding of their children's Tarbiya (spiritual development).

They hear all the talk of rejecting the TV and they obediently throw it out. But since they haven't heard any lectures condemning netbooks, Facebook, cellphones, and iPods, they mysteriously figure those items must be okay.

Huh?!

How is tuning into Youtube any different than tuning into TV? How is it any better having your kids glued to the laptop instead of glued to the TV set? What do you expect to teach your kids with their ears plugged into MP3 players or fingers texting away on cellphones, WHILE YOU'RE SITTING IN THE SAME FREAKIN' ROOM WITH THEM?!?!

Do you seriously need a fatwa to tell you that this other stuff is just as harmful for your kids as a television set?

I guess some people just need to be spoon-fed their religion.

(Sigh)

Someone please find me a fatwa against the new iPad before these folks buy one for their kids. :-/

When I first arrived in Saudi Arabia, I was warned about a specific tactic used by car thieves where they would initiate a 'fender-bender' accident, causing you to jump out of your car to check the damage. Then, while you're inspecting the back of your car and talking to the driver that hit you, his partner sneaks into your car and drives away.

When I heard this, I brushed it off as something that rarely occurs and is simply being highlighted due to the shock factor.

Until recently, that is.

A few months back, my friend's co-worker had newly arrived to the Kingdom and was running some errands with his family. As is normally the custom here, the husband will run into a corner shop to quickly grab some fruits or bread, while the family sits in the car. And due to the immense heat, the car will remain running with the A/C for the family's sake.

In the case of this fellow, while he was in the store, a car thief broke the window, jumped into his car, and drove off, WITH THE FAMILY INSIDE!

Thankfully, the criminal had some mercy and let out the family further down the road. Needless to say, the victim and his family were extremely distraught and soon left the Kingdom.

I was shocked when I heard this story as the incident was closer to home than some news item in the paper. Yet, I was still undeterred and maintained my practice of leaving the car running with my family inside.

Until two weeks ago when my very own friend had a similarly unfortunate incident. He had just finished shopping at IKEA and pulled his car up to the loading area to get his family and their items. He casually got out to put the bags in the trunk and help his wife with the baby, and in the blink of an eye, a car zoomed up, dude jumped out and into my friend's car, and both cars sped off.

Thankfully, the family was not in the car. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for his wallet (including the most essential Iqama card) and cell phone. Somewhat happy ending in that last week the police found the car abandoned in the outskirts of the city.

Regardless, this one hit too close for comfort. Since then, I've become alot more vigilante in turning off my car while my family waits inside. I would strongly recommend all others to follow suit.

Not sure what we're going to do when the summer heat arrives.