I recently returned from a short two-week trip to the US and
one of the more common discussions I had with family and friends was about the
future of Muslims in the West. I plan on posting my thoughts in some upcoming posts, so let me start things off with a very real concern:
Intermarriage.
As Muslims being to assimilate and integrate, I find myself
not so worried about some of the more recurring issues such as hijab or drugs or aqeedah
– don’t get me wrong, they aren’t trivial, but they aren’t likely to result in
offspring completely leaving the religion. On the other hand, the increasing
rate of Muslims marrying outside our religion is just such an issue.
What so many Muslims may see as an acceptable practice from
the Shariah point of view (where in fact a man marrying a Christian or Jewish woman
is sanctioned, as they are People of the Book), is in my mind a very dangerous
practice that will all too often result in future generations essentially
leaving Islam.
As if the pressures of modern Western culture are not
strenuous enough on a young Muslim, adding to the mix the life-long presence of
a non-Muslim mother is, needless to say, very harmful.
And so I found this Washington Post article quite timely as it reinforced my recent concerns.
One interesting discussion I had was with my brother-in-law,
who suggested that if I wanted to study the future of Muslims in the West, I
ought to look at the Jews when they first arrived to the US. At the time of
their arrival, they had a most similar makeup to us Muslims, in that they had relatively
high levels of religious observation, a formal law like our Shariah, and
restrictions on intermarriage.
And what I found was quite disturbing. When they first
arrived in the late 19th century, Jews were intermarrying at a 4%
rate. After nearly a century, their intermarriage has skyrocketed to nearly
50%. And this is from a religion in which intermarriage is strictly forbidden!
And as a consequence, as more Muslim men decide to intermarry, Muslim women will be left with little
choice but to follow suit. This article from Al-Jazeera documents this inevitable rise in women marrying outside the faith.
Now some of you may be thinking, ‘How does this affect me or
my children? They are being raised in a strictly observant household where
intermarriage is not an option.’ That may be true, but can the same be said for
two or three generations down the line?
6 comments:
That may be true, but can the same be said for two or three generations down the line?
Sorry to say, but two or three generations down the line is not my concern, just as it would not have been my great-grandfather's concern whether or not I had become a Muslim. My only concern at this time is the Islam of myself, my wife, and our daughter, insha'allah. Should my daughter have their own children, it is their own responsibility and that of the parents, insha'allah.
Apologies if this sounds harsh, JDsg, but regarding future generations, I think it’s selfish – and even unprophetic – to only be concerned with the present. We should learn from Ibrahim a.s. – who made dua for his future generations. We need to always make dua for those future generations down the line. Nouman Ali Khan spoke about this, and cited this example – also saying that Allah didn’t give him blanket acceptance of the dua – there was something in His response about exceptions (Surah Al-Baqarah v 124).
There’s always the chance of deviation down the line – as the world deteriorates. But our job right now is to do what we can: through our actions for our immediate offspring, and dua for those that’ll follow beyond our lifetimes.
As for intermarriage, here in Cape Town – which has a huge Muslim community but is still within a non-Muslim country, one imam has said that the ulama here generally discourage intermarriage because the overwhelming culture and society out there is non-Muslim. In a Muslim majority environment, that non-Muslim spouse may well be influenced to eventually accept Islam. But in our society, it’s the other way around – because the odds are against us.
I’ve known several kids who were the results of intermarriage, and it seems to have led to identity crises in them – in no cases resulting in strong Islamic practice (one case saw the father leaving Islam completely). I’m not saying it’s impossible for it to work – it probably has in many cases. But it’s dangerous if the authority figure – the father – isn’t strong in deen, and doesn’t have a strong Islamic support system around him.
At the same time, we can’t take a purely legalistic view. We can’t come across as being insular and narrow-minded – sticking to our own kind and rejecting other faiths. That’s not only ‘bad PR’ for Islam, but also against the objective of da’wah
We’re supposed to spread the deen, and intermarriage can be a superb form of da’wah – not just for the spouse that’ll later revert, but for that spouse’s original family and friends who see and admire the change after they revert.
AA- JD,
In addition to what DL said so eloquently, I wanted to add this:
I *do* believe that we have a responsibility towards our future generations because we have knowledge about the inherent dangers posed by settling down in the West. On the other hand, my parents, I believe, will not be judged in the same way - since they had no idea about the long-term ramifications of migrating westward.
With information, such as the data I presented in my post, at our disposal it would be negligent for us to turn a blind eye and simply wave it off as 'not my concern'.
Just as you would be blamed for the financial ruin of your future progeny if you were to voluntarily settle down somewhere like Greece, where your offspring would curse you for not having known any better than to migrate to a bankrupt nation - similarly you should be blamed for the spiritual ruin of your future progeny for having *chosen* to settle in a land known for its spiritual bankruptcy.
Excellent discussion. Couldnt agree more with DL and Br Naeem.
I feel that many muslims in the west are too surrounded by the problem to fully see it. Allah surely guides whom He wills in any land but for me to reside in the west currently knowing there are better environments out there and having that choice would be ridiculously negligent.
Having said that for sure not everyone can move and thats not what we are talking of anyway because Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bare
And for sure there are people there who are there solely for spreading message of submission to God and I have faith Allah will take care of them.
@Naeem: I'm a little late to this discussion, but I'm sure you are aware that I am unfortunate proof of this theory. My first wife was non-muslim and as a result my kids with her have pretty much abandoned the Islamic religion.
My current wife strongly discourages any interaction with our new child with his siblings. My wife thinks my children from my previous marriage would set a very bad example for them and she would simply prefer that our son not even know about the existence of his other siblings. In fact, we are currently working on acquiring dual citizenship for our child in order to more familiarize him with his mother's culture
Greg
ASAK Naeem. A big problem for Muslims in the West. The parents are busy `protecting' their sons and daughters from Muslims. In the end they lose everything, and make their children's life miserable.
In a country where Muslims are few and spread out, the society has to catch up and make it easier for people to meet and marry within Muslims.
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