tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post6424752853171061676..comments2023-10-31T15:54:05.715+03:00Comments on Naeem's Blog: Let's Not Talk About SexNaeem:http://www.blogger.com/profile/15397380149160556040noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-57468402452148597552010-04-20T10:54:12.160+03:002010-04-20T10:54:12.160+03:00AA-
@Susanne, "Maybe they feel empowered by ...AA-<br /><br />@Susanne, "Maybe they feel empowered by knowing this couple and that couple and the one over there has the same struggle so, please, let's discuss this and find some answers?"<br /><br />You see, I have a problem with this approach. This is what I was referring to as the 'Oprah-generation'. We feel this strange need to talk about our struggles and share our feelings with others who are in similar situations.<br /><br />I'm not sure that is advisable, especially when it comes to such sensitive topics as marital relations.<br /><br />@Anon, "I would think most practicing people educate themselves about marriage and its related issues when or before or maybe after they get married."<br /><br />I think you basically summed up my post right there. I see such efforts as either redundant or crossing the lines of Haya.Naeem:https://www.blogger.com/profile/15397380149160556040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-57189286794446515642010-04-20T00:44:19.569+03:002010-04-20T00:44:19.569+03:00brnaeem..i think you may have misunderstood. I sig...brnaeem..i think you may have misunderstood. I signed up for yasir qadhi's email list that he has over on the likeagarment.com webpage.<br /><br />And its basically hadith from the Prophet saw and explaining them, extracting fawaid, and saying such and such scholar said xyz about this hadith.<br /><br />This is not counseling.<br />This is educating the masses about sex from an islamic perspsective. Which is needed. And doing it in that setting..sending out emails to share info is perfectively private. You're reading it in your very own email account! lol<br /><br /> There's alot i'm guessing that people don't know about stuff.<br /><br />Although honestly i find it a bit baffling that ppl have all these issues?. I would think most practicing people educate themselves about marriage and its related issues when or before or maybe after they get married.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-74234595283303784312010-04-17T15:16:44.837+03:002010-04-17T15:16:44.837+03:00I agree that some things do not need to be discuss...I agree that some things do not need to be discussed publicly. <br /><br /><br />Do you think this -- "Haya teaches us that problems created in the bedroom should be fixed in the bedroom." -- is NOT happening and perhaps bringing these issues out in public helps people in their search for solutions? Maybe they feel empowered by knowing this couple and that couple and the one over there has the same struggle so, please, let's discuss this and find some answers?Susannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03115294023069458287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-55856930734514693582010-04-13T07:19:19.932+03:002010-04-13T07:19:19.932+03:00AA-
@Abbe, good point. I'm quite weary of al...AA-<br /><br />@Abbe, good point. I'm quite weary of all our efforts to 'Islamize' everything in the west. Instead of coming up with our own solutions, or better yet, taking from our tradition, we're insistent on creating cheap rip-offs of everything in the west (see Islamic banking).<br /><br />@Anon1, my father told me nothing. Its the last word in my post.<br /><br />@Anon2, well said. Basically, the problem should be taken care of privately, either between the couple or with the assistance of a counselor.<br /><br />@coolred38, you know what I mean about Facebook. Those people who are so addicted to FB (or chatrooms or any other social networking tool) while ignoring their spouses are the ones ruining their marriages.<br /><br />"if there is confusion or ignorance about ANYTHING...Muslims should be willing to discuss it openly and frankly"<br /><br />Do you mean *publicly*? If so, I disagree. If you mean openly and frankly to each other (ie. a married couple) or with a counselor, then we're saying the same thing.<br /><br />My beef is with these talk shows and seminars where we feel the need to be 'open and frank' in a public gathering on topics that are better left in the private domain.Naeem:https://www.blogger.com/profile/15397380149160556040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-90345356991825325722010-04-12T19:17:45.737+03:002010-04-12T19:17:45.737+03:00Facebook is destroying marriages? If something lik...Facebook is destroying marriages? If something like Facebook can destroy a marriage..it wasnt built to last anyhow. <br /><br />I would agree with your point of view for the most part but I think its more how you discuss and issue and not the topic itself which needs parameters set. Nothing should be taboo...if there is confusion or ignorance about ANYTHING...Muslims should be willing to discuss it openly and frankly...but how and with who is paramount. <br /><br />And not on Facebook I take it.Coolred38https://www.blogger.com/profile/07502256532402473484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-22325065615941202852010-04-12T18:46:52.982+03:002010-04-12T18:46:52.982+03:00Salams brother,
I would have to agree, especially ...Salams brother,<br />I would have to agree, especially as this crosses the bounds of haya - for a woman to go behind her husband's back and discuss such matters so openly with a male is quite frankly disgusting. <br /><br />Whereas we learn the Deen related to such matters from a Faqih, this is a completely different matter. <br /><br />Apart from Scholars like Ustadha Hedaya Hartford, there are very few Islamic Scholars who are actually trained to deal with such matters.<br /><br />And sometimes these intimate matters actually need to be treated medically, or require counselling.<br /><br />A married sisterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-14863600133011078192010-04-12T13:45:47.708+03:002010-04-12T13:45:47.708+03:00bro naeem,what did your father tell you?bro naeem,what did your father tell you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-29190397240592663442010-04-12T12:25:42.451+03:002010-04-12T12:25:42.451+03:00Very well written! I'm sick and tired of peopl...Very well written! I'm sick and tired of people trying to be a bridge between tradition and modernity, but in reality they are only a product of the modern mentality.Abbehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11237653642671684233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-58168174315226885112010-04-12T12:20:59.906+03:002010-04-12T12:20:59.906+03:00AA- Anon,
You are correct. The hadith explicitly...AA- Anon,<br /><br />You are correct. The hadith explicitly states that there is no Haya in deen, in relation to fiqhi-matters. We shouldn't be shy of asking on intimate matters.<br /><br />But that isn't what I wrote about, nor is that the focus of Sh. Yasir's project.<br /><br />The Fiqh of Marriage is a topic that has already been covered and he acknowledged as much.<br /><br />What I'm referring to is the issue of sex-related issues that waver outside of the fiqh-discussion and into the realm of counseling.Naeem:https://www.blogger.com/profile/15397380149160556040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8268156244556916801.post-64553049855785625072010-04-12T11:56:06.167+03:002010-04-12T11:56:06.167+03:00I do agree with you to a certain extent about the ...I do agree with you to a certain extent about the annoying trend to analyze everything to death nowadays, but in this matters as in all matters we should look back to the Prophet's example, and the example of his companions and the salaf (the first few generations after them). <br />The Prophet and his companions were remarkably open about sexual matters. You may recall the hadith narrated by Umm Salamah who said: “Umm Sulaym came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alihi wasalam, and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Allah is not too shy to tell us the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has a wet dream?’ The Prophet said: ‘Yes, if she sees water (a discharge).’ Umm Salamah covered her face and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, can a woman have an erotic dream?’ He said, ‘Yes, may your hands be rubbed with dust. How else would her child resemble her?’” (Bukhari)<br />There are many similar hadiths in which the Messenger of ALlah clarifies suexual matters to his companions. These days there is alot of confusion due to the two things Yasir Qadhi mentions. Seriously, many people have serious misconceptions. So, kudos to him and his project!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com